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The Pub (Part 48)


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Old 23-11-2016, 20:31
Rugby man
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Through no fault of his own, my Uncle crashed into a lemon tree.


He's still bitter and twisted.
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:38
twassington
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*snigger*

Evening all pubster parps. Lime and soda please Anyone serving??
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:39
chinchin
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Through no fault of his own, my Uncle crashed into a lemon tree.


He's still bitter and twisted.
*Groans loudly*

*snigger*

Evening all pubster parps. Lime and soda please Anyone serving??
Evening twassock *clunk*
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:42
twassington
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Ta muchly old peep. *glugl glugl glug*
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:45
Rugby man
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I got rid of my vacuum cleaner today.

It was just collecting dust.
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:46
farmer bob
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I got rid of my vacuum cleaner today.

It was just collecting dust.
*locks Rugby Man in the cellar*

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Old 23-11-2016, 20:51
twassington
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*locks Rugby Man in the cellar*

I hope you locked him in there with a book of better jokes to learn!
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:52
farmer bob
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I hope you locked him in there with a book of better jokes to learn!
Did you erect the Edd-Stone what you won in the raffle daahn the Labour Club?

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Old 23-11-2016, 20:55
davor
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Did you erect the Edd-Stone what you won in the raffle daahn the Labour Club?



Evening farmer bob. Do you have any free range eggs to sell?
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:58
farmer bob
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Evening farmer bob. Do you have any free range eggs to sell?
No sorry

Help yourself to a drink though, Chin's buying
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Old 23-11-2016, 20:59
twassington
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Edd stone? I only won some chocolate money!

Ooh ta chins. Mine's a champagne cocktail
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Old 23-11-2016, 21:17
Gemo52
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Evening Gemo *clunk*
Thank you.
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Old 23-11-2016, 21:50
Rugby man
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* breaks out of the cellar *

My girlfriend phoned me last night, and says "Come on over, no one's home!"


I got there, and there was no one home.
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Old 23-11-2016, 22:01
twassington
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* breaks out of the cellar *

My girlfriend phoned me last night, and says "Come on over, no one's home!"


I got there, and there was no one home.
Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!! *runs screaming to the hills*
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Old 23-11-2016, 22:06
Rugby man
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These got about 5 likes on facebook!
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Old 23-11-2016, 22:10
Rugby man
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I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid, but my parents told me the sky was the limit
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Old 23-11-2016, 22:59
soap-lea
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I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid, but my parents told me the sky was the limit
Ooh a newbie with bad jokes in the pub... can someone get me a drink?
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Old 24-11-2016, 06:23
Scots rool
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*opens pub* Morning all

Christ on a bike! It's -6c!
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Old 24-11-2016, 06:28
Scots rool
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BANG BANG BANG CLATTER THUMP BANG CLATTER CLATTER CLANG CLANG CLUMP CLANG BANG! Yes just over there, no no, there *points* Yes that's it, brilliant.......carry on now.
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Old 24-11-2016, 06:33
chinchin
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Morning Sr and peeps
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Old 24-11-2016, 06:42
Scots rool
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I'm ALWAYS nice to you

We got a bag each, it was worth losing for!
Hmmmm........sometimes you're norty!
Good morning everyone.

Cold here at just 8c, but sunny which is lovely.

*Puts cash into SR's grasping claws*

* Pours beer slops over SR's big head.* That's for destroying my slippers.
You're gonna be very sorry for that action!
And yer slippers were walking away themselves, I just helped them on their way!
Huh. You're not going to trick me with that old chestnut.
Well it's your loss, you'll be excluded from it all if there's any more of that behaviour!
Good afternoon all.

Tea please with a large slice of Christmas fruit cake.
There is no bloody Christmas cake until Christmas, stoooooopid greedy person!
cooooooooo, is there chrimbo cake going?
No there bloomin' isn't!
Yes, for sure. Twassington is a tree hugging type of person and they don't eat chocolate unless it's made out of tofu or something like that.

I also pinched some mince pies from the Christmas party at the office next to mine because I wasn't invited. I'll leave them on the bar so help yourself.

How very dare you bring stolen goods onto my premises!
Giving my eyes a rest from a computer screen all day.

… and I have knitting to do for a niece’s new baby which is taking ages ’cos I haven’t done any for such a long time.

I like the price of reading specs compared to what I had to pay for ones for my short sight. There’s a nought missing.
The reading glasses from the £1 work perfectly well, that's what I use for reading or on my laptop. I don't like using my contact lenses unless I'm going outside.
Seeing as I've been a regular for many years, I may as well make my drinks myself.

*clunk*

*clatter*
What do you think yer doing! Yer going on the shoogly nail next time you pull that stunt!
*Groans loudly*



Evening twassock *clunk*
I thought you told everyone I had put Rugby man in the freezer.........yet another of yer fibs revealed!
Ooh a newbie with bad jokes in the pub... can someone get me a drink?
He's hardly new, he's been coming in here for years.
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Old 24-11-2016, 06:43
Scots rool
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Morning Sr and peeps
Morning chinny *clunk*
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Old 24-11-2016, 07:25
farmer bob
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Morning

Don't mind me.

*heads up to Attic*
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Old 24-11-2016, 07:37
Scots rool
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Morning

Don't mind me.

*heads up to Attic*

*charges upstairs in hot pursuit & throws bob downstairs* That's off limits to customers! Sling yer hook!
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Old 24-11-2016, 08:03
chinchin
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Byeee peeps. Have a good day. *Leaves bugs and hidden cameras around to find out what's going on*
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