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The Pub (Part 48)


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Old 19-01-2016, 07:22
twassington
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Morning all peepsicles! *takes a ringside seat and waits for the inevitable*

Tea and crumpets please!
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Old 19-01-2016, 07:24
chinchin
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Help yerself twassock. I am arranging the flowers on the tables at the minute.

http://balkonada.cafeblog.hu/files/2...g%C3%A1s28.jpg
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Old 19-01-2016, 07:29
twassington
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Help yerself twassock. I am arranging the flowers on the tables at the minute.

http://balkonada.cafeblog.hu/files/2...g%C3%A1s28.jpg
Er.......have you put them in Parton's urine sample?
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Old 19-01-2016, 07:54
chinchin
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Er.......have you put them in Parton's urine sample?
Well? Erm wasn't that a pint????!!!!
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:02
twassington
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Well? Erm wasn't that a pint????!!!!
Parton's got a big bladder!!
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:03
Scots rool
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*saunters in*..........W.T.F! is going on! CHINNY I wanna word with you...........

*goes off to watch CCTV*
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:08
twassington
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*saunters in*..........W.T.F! is going on! CHINNY I wanna word with you...........

*goes off to watch CCTV*
This should be good! *gets popcorn ready*
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:24
Scots rool
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You changed yer post. Drinks are free this evening as Eddie is the new proprietor. *Points to Eddy's name above the door* *clunk*
No he isn't! And his name was never there to begin with! *drags chinny outside to see* The Shoogly Nail OWNER Scots rool.
You are are a toadying wee creep! *punches chin's lights out* Gerrup & get this pub returned to its former glory! You are only answerable to me, as from now Eddy is barred until he A) apologises to me B) pays his very large bill for all the inconvenience & emotional distress caused to me!
As for you...........You have sealed yer own fate, I'll deal with you later today!
*rips down stupid posters of TV screens etc*
Good evening.



Yes, I am the new freeholder of the Pub but SR still has a 10,000 year lease. It means we are partners and she has to listen to me.

You are the new Pub manager. I'll sort out your pay increase later.

As the freeholder of the Pub title I will be closely examining the terms of SR's lease and I will be making lots more changes.



Only for regulars and only till closing time.
You, you stoooooooopid little puffed up eejit, see above ^^ & then you can get on yer bike!
That looks lovely.

PS - I've decided that only Emmerdale fans should have free drinks tonight. Make twass pay!

Some immediate changes:

Free food will be provided to Emmerdale fans. That will bring in a lot of folk.

Sleeps will wash and polish the cars of all Pub patrons. That'll get people begging to visit the Pub.

Soft toilet paper for the loos.

No more free gin for SR. And she has to pay her bar bill for the last 5 years.
Dream on mister.......

*kicks chinny's lardy arse* get moving clearing up this place!
I had the juices SR put out for us to try so no, I won't be paying you anything!
Indeed you won't twass, they were all freebies.


Good morning Chin, everyone.

Thanks for opening up Chin.

We will no longer charge extra for milk with breakfasts. It's not popular with our clients. Milk is now included in the price but put all prices up by 25% whether milk is wanted or not.

*Orders fresh flowers delivery for all the Pub tables.*
*grabs Eddy by the throat & squeeeeeeeeeezes* Get off my premises.........*kicks Eddy'd lardy arse out of the door* My lawyer will be in touch with you!
Oh well done Eddy! You put that Sr to shame! *clunk*
*batters chinny again*
Help yerself twassock. I am arranging the flowers on the tables at the minute.

*grabs vase & flowers & tips them over chinny's fat head*
http://balkonada.cafeblog.hu/files/2...g%C3%A1s28.jpg
Get this place cleaned up......then........my office!
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:24
chinchin
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*saunters in*..........W.T.F! is going on! CHINNY I wanna word with you...........

*goes off to watch CCTV*
Wot are you wittering on about now woman? http://members.optusnet.com.au/isaksen/bigroll.GIF
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:26
chinchin
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No he isn't! And his name was never there to begin with! *drags chinny outside to see* The Shoogly Nail OWNER Scots rool.

You are are a toadying wee creep! *punches chin's lights out* Gerrup & get this pub returned to its former glory! You are only answerable to me, as from now Eddy is barred until he A) apologises to me B) pays his very large bill for all the inconvenience & emotional distress caused to me!
As for you...........You have sealed yer own fate, I'll deal with you later today!
*rips down stupid posters of TV screens etc*

You, you stoooooooopid little puffed up eejit, see above ^^ & then you can get on yer bike!

Dream on mister.......


*kicks chinny's lardy arse* get moving clearing up this place!

Indeed you won't twass, they were all freebies.



*grabs Eddy by the throat & squeeeeeeeeeezes* Get off my premises.........*kicks Eddy'd lardy arse out of the door* My lawyer will be in touch with you!

*batters chinny again*

Get this place cleaned up......then........my office!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *Telephones Eddy and Rugby man for help* i
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:29
Scots rool
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Oh don't start acting even more stooooopid than you usually do!

*drags chinny off to the cellar where all sorts of noises are heard*
BANG, WALLOP, SLAP, PUNCH, KICK, THUMP, WALLOP. *waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahing is heard*
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:31
Scots rool
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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *Telephones Eddy and Rugby man for help* i

No-one is gonna help you now! *bashes chinny over the head with aforementioned phone & then drops phone in a bucket of Partons sample*
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:32
twassington
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Well that's the morning's entertainment provided

Poor, poor chin
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:34
Scots rool
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Guys, hope you still remember me and it's all cool.

I'm back.

Good grief.........they let you out then?

Nice to see you back again........you've had more comebacks than Sinatra ever did!
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:35
Scots rool
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Well that's the morning's entertainment provided

Poor, poor chin

Poor poor chin nothing, he deserves everything he gets!
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:39
Scots rool
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Wow, what is going on, that's another legend gone. Glenn Frey of the Eagles has passed away. He was only 67! HERE
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:42
twassington
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Wow, what is going on, that's another legend gone. Glenn Frey of the Eagles has passed away. He was only 67! HERE
And the drummer from Mott the Hoople too, also 67
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Old 19-01-2016, 09:00
farmer bob
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* stares in wondrous amazement at the new 'EddyBee's Bar & Bistro' *
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Old 19-01-2016, 09:12
Scots rool
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And the drummer from Mott the Hoople too, also 67
Bloody hell, I hadn't heard of that one.
* stares in wondrous amazement at the new 'EddyBee's Bar & Bistro' *
Don't get too 'cited, It's only posters - which are currently being ripped down. ROLLEYES

Oh & it doesn't (& never will), belong to Fang Chewy.
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Old 19-01-2016, 09:21
farmer bob
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Bloody hell, I hadn't heard of that one.

Don't get too 'cited, It's only posters - which are currently being ripped down. ROLLEYES

Oh & it doesn't (& never will), belong to Fang Chewy.

But I've got a quote for him, for the new extension (liquid room & chill out zone) he wants building. I'm assembling a 'work crew' at the moment
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Old 19-01-2016, 09:31
twassington
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Here's hoping Whiff Pilchard will be next on the Reaper's list Although he needs to get what's coming to him first
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Old 19-01-2016, 09:41
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*saunters in*..........W.T.F! is going on! CHINNY I wanna word with you...........

*goes off to watch CCTV*


You can watch the CCTV all day long. It does not change a thing my dear business 'partner'.

I repeat ... so please note ... that it's my name that appears by the Pub sign.

I will be dealing with you later.
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Old 19-01-2016, 09:56
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*kicks chinny's lardy arse* get moving clearing up this place! ...

*batters chinny again* ...

New Pub Rule.


Violence against staff is banned. Any member of staff bashed up by my business partner will be generously compensated from her share of the Pub profits.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *Telephones Eddy and Rugby man for help* i
*Liberates Chin from the bar cellar. Arranges for locks to the cellar to be changed.*

*Leaves note for SR reminding her that under the terms of her lease the Pub cellar is for storing beers etc and not to be used for other activities.*
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Old 19-01-2016, 10:01
Scots rool
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But I've got a quote for him, for the new extension (liquid room & chill out zone) he wants building. I'm assembling a 'work crew' at the moment
I wouldn't be holding my breath on that happening!
Here's hoping Whiff Pilchard will be next on the Reaper's list Although he needs to get what's coming to him first
We wouldn't be that lucky - he'll probably live until he's 140!


You can watch the CCTV all day long. It does not change a thing my dear business 'partner'.

I repeat ... so please note ... that it's my name that appears by the Pub sign.

I will be dealing with you later.
*grabs Eddy by the throat & huckles him outside* Bugger off & go & open yer own poncy bar. This is my pub which I bought & paid for several years ago. Your name is NOT above the pub & never will be! Now sling yer hook.........*kicks Eddy's lardy arse out of the pub*
You're the last person on the planet I would have any dealings with, business or otherwise!
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Old 19-01-2016, 10:05
Scots rool
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New Pub Rule.


Violence against staff is banned. Any member of staff bashed up by my business partner will be generously compensated from her share of the Pub profits.



*Liberates Chin from the bar cellar. Arranges for locks to the cellar to be changed.*

*Leaves note for SR reminding her that under the terms of her lease the Pub cellar is for storing beers etc and not to be used for other activities.*
Right that's it! I've had enough of you.......*phones police* yes officer, a thug is pretending he's a business partner of mine, which he isn't & is trying to muscle in on my business. He's clearly deranged. Yes that's fine, thank you very much for your help.
*watches as Eddy's wee legs are dangling in mid air as he's huckled off by the police* Byeeeeee, enjoy yer bread & water.
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