Thoughts?

This topic occurred to me during a watch of The Visitation. (Highly enjoyable btw)

Tegan got me with two I found hilarious.

One was her referring to Galifrey as "Gilford."

The other was claim that even a broken clock was more dependable than a Time Lord, lol.

Anything Leela says ("Now put our prisoner to the torture!"), or most of the things Jamie says ("That hairy beast is the Doctor"), but I also really liked The Hand of Fear when Sarah Jane is told it's best if she doesn't follow the Doctor and stays where she is (something like "Yes, I suppose you're right... but I'm not going to!" and she runs off).

Amy's "Did you wish really hard?" line was quite funny too.

Liked Romana's reaction to Duggan's 'Can't make an omelette...' line;

"If *you* wanted an omelette, I'd expect to find a pile of broken crockery, a cooker in flames and an unconscious Chef."

Her reaction to The Mona Lisa, "It's quite good." is funny because of the Doctor's reaction.

A scene rather than a line, but I love Donna and the poisoned Doctor scene in 'Unicorn and the Wasp. "Oh I don't know, Towering Inferno?...Camptown Races!"

Not a companion per se, but Jackie Tyler in Aliens of London...
Doctor: "I am a Doctor!"
Jackie: "Prove it...stitch this mate!" *slaps in face*

The whole detox scene in The Unicorn and the Wasp is great fun! But I randomly lose it when Donna says "Towering inferno!!!".

..and in the same episode...
Donna: "There's a giant wasp!!!"
Doctor: "What do you mean?!"
Donna: "I mean a wasp...that's giant!!!"

Funny you should mention The Visitation. The first line that came to mind was another from Tegan.

Teraleptil:- You are a very stupid woman.
Tegan: That's not a very original observation!

Or words to that affect I haven't had a look to get in 100%

Time of the Doctor

Clara: "Doctor, why are you naked?"

This cracks me up every time. The joke is that the companions dialogue is generally of this nature: "Doctor, why... what... when..." etc. The question that completes the sentence is rarely expected to be 'why are you naked'

And Coleman's delivery is fantastic: so earnest, just as if she was delivering any other line of 'Doctor, why...' dialogue. She could have asked it in a shock horror 'Doctor, why are you naked?!' way but the way she did it made it so much funnier. Great script, great delivery.

The Doctor's follow-up is just as amusing: "I wondered whether you'd notice". Again delivered in total earnest.

Pretty much everything Donna ever said, but particularly: "I'll tell you where the wind's blowing right now, mate."

I did also like Amy's "Bow tie. Get rid."

Deleted, there was no need for that on my part.

...

The Doctor: How can you hack into everything? It should be impossible. You’re in a crashed ship!

Oswin: Long story. Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?

The Doctor: Doctor. You call me the Doctor.

Oswin: See what you did there.


and


Oswin: Okay, you’re safe for now. Pop your shirt off, quick as you like.

Rory: Why?

Oswin: Does there have to be a reason?

Well I have three that always make me chuckle.

Firstly, this really simple exchange from The Android Invasion:

Doctor: I feel disorientated."

Sarah : "This is the disorientation centre!"

It's so simple it always makes me laugh!


Secondly, people have already mentioned some City Of Death quotes, I simply love this exchange:

Romana: What year is this?

The Doctor: Ah, well... well, it's 1979, actually. More of a table wine, shall we say? Ha! A randomizer is a useful device, but it lacks true discrimination. Shall we sip it and see?

Romana: Oh, I'd be delighted. Should we take the lift or fly?

The Doctor: Let's not be ostentatious.

Romana: All right, let's fly, then.

The Doctor: That would look silly. We'll take the lift, come on


But for one liners that are truly truly unpc, first prize must surely go to this one from Harry in The Ark In Space-

'Fancy a member of the fair sex being top of the totem pole.'

'what a wonderful butler...he's so violent'

Edit. Just realised my obvious mistake but as everyone else seems to be quoting the Doctor too, what the hell.

'Now I will never know of I was right'.
Adric's last words before being blown to plop

Thank you to everyone for the additions so far! I thought of another but can't remember the episode. I just recall that it is a New Who EP where in a parallel universe Rory is a Doctor and says to 11 "And unlike you, I actually have a degree!"

lol

And, off topic, I know, but we've talked a bit about The Visitation in this thread and one thing I really liked in that episode was the solid chemistry and friendship between Nyssa and Tegan.

Amy : She's the TARDIS?
Doctor: And she's a woman! She's a woman and she's the TARDIS.
Amy : Did you wish really hard?
Doctor: Shut up! Not like that...
Idris/Tardis: Hello, I'm... Sexy.
Doctor: Still shut up.

It's all good, but the BOLD line is great - Amy's raised eyebrow as she says it adds to the whole thing.

"He's got two hearts mum."
"... what else has he got two of?"

"This Rose. Before she left, did she ever punch you in the mouth?"

*Vampire explodes and flesh flies into the air, some of it into Evelyn's handbag*
"Please compose yourself Evelyn."
"Well I'm sorry. Its's not every day someone explodes into your handbag."

Rory: Every time the Doctor gets pal-y with someone I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next-of-kin.

The Doctor: ...With Martha, like I said, it got... complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Doctor: I just want a mate!
Donna: You're not mating with me, sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want a mate!
Donna: Well, just as well, cos I'm not having any of that nonsense! You're just a long streak of nothing!

Donna "Planet of the hats...I'm ready"

Donna "Off we go then...although frankly you could turn the heating up"

Rose Tyler: With you, did he do that thing where he'd explain something at like, 90 miles an hour, and you'd go "What?", and he'd look at you like you've just dribbled on your shirt?
Sarah Jane Smith: All the time!
[laughs]
Sarah Jane Smith: Does he still stroke bits of the TARDIS?
Rose Tyler: [giggling] Yes, he does! I'm like "do you two want to be alone"?
[both crack up laughing]
The Doctor: [walks into the lab] How's it going?
Rose Tyler, Sarah Jane Smith: [burst out hysterically laughing]
The Doctor: What? Listen, I need to figure out what's programmed inside these?
Rose Tyler, Sarah Jane Smith: [still laughing, Rose points at him]
The Doctor: What?
[annoyed]
The Doctor: Stop it!

Later...

Mickey Smith: Oh, mate, the missus and the ex. Welcome to every man's worst nightmare!