...look, I can't tell you how I got this... I don't even know whether its true or not myself... But apparently this is a transcribed recording of something that occurred last night between one of the producers, Mickey Bishop, and an undercover investigator who had apparently sneaked into the offices disguised as a pot-plant.

UNDERCOVER INVESTIGATOR: So I heard your close friends with Gemma outside the house?

MICKEY: Who me? No… Oh! Your thinking of Andrew Jackman! Yeah, he’s our executive producer. He’s not here though, he’s in the Endomol offices at Shepherds Bush, he mostly just okays spending.

UI: But he’s close friends with Gemma?

MICKEY: I think so yes… Well that’s what I’ve heard anyway. See Gemma mentioned on the Live Feed the other night that he used to work on Towie…

UI: Right… Was that something you were hoping to keep quiet?

MICKEY: Yeah, we didn’t think anyone would find that out… But then she blabbed… It was a bit of a nightmare – because if she hadn’t done it the only other way people could have found out was by typing his name into IMDB… But nobody would ever have done that.

UI: Jesus… And they’re best friends, yeah?

MICKEY: Apparently. That was actually a bit of a surprise to me too. But after she’d mentioned he worked on Towie there was suddenly a ton of evidence to show they were bosom buddies.

UI: What sort of evidence?

MICKEY: …well… a lot of people online said they must be. It makes sense too if you think about it… I mean, why wouldn’t they be? They did once work on the same show.

UI: But surely in an industry this small people always work on each others shows?

MICKEY: Yes and invariably they end up close friends and lovers because of it. All of them. Always.

UI: Blimey… So come on, there’s only me and you here… Tonight’s task… It was a fix wasn’t it?

MICKEY: Promise you won’t tell?

UI: Promise.

MICKEY: Yeah it was. We wanted to make sure Gemma could stay in the house for another week.

UI: Why?

MICKEY: Well because… um… Do you know what? I forget now… I think it was because she’s married to the executive producer, as I said.

UI: You didn’t say they were married.

MICKEY: Didn't I? ...I kind of lose track of it all… let me check online… Yes, there you go, someone on twitter says they’re married.

UI: And that was the only reason?

MICKEY: Oh no, its also because she brings in massive numbers of viewers who love her and would stop watching if she wasn’t in it.

UI: Does she? Weren’t they all booing her tonight?

MICKEY: Yeah… That was odd… Because, as you probably know, usually we give the crowd scripts to work off… Don’t know what happened tonight, must have run out of paper.

UI: And isn’t she generally disliked on all the forums and social media platforms?

MICKEY: Sort of… But what you have to understand is that we’d rather create a show that people hate than one they actually enjoy.

UI: Why?

MICKEY: …I can’t remember… But anyway, not everybody dislikes her, actually we get huge amounts of people calling in to save her. KERCHING!

UI: You won’t next week though will you?

MICKEY: …oh shit… no…. Ah well, swings and roundabouts eh? We couldn’t risk losing her.

UI: So how did you orchestrate this fix?

MICKEY: Well we had a couple of ideas, but we thought the most sensible way to do it would be to design and build a series of mechanical podiums with two hidden compartments, one containing a white mask and one containing a gold masks and then all we had to do was—

UI: --Sorry? Did you say that was the most ‘sensible’ way to do it?

MICKEY: Of course… Why? Can you think of another?

UI: Well… Yes, there’s loads of ways you could have--

MICKEY: --Exactly. See? The mechanical podiums were our only option.

UI: And you thought you’d do this live?

MICKEY: Be silly not to.

UI: …Right… Erm… Isn’t this all a bit… I don’t know? …Dodgy? I mean… Couldn’t you get into trouble for this if it got in the papers? Couldn’t you get fired? Wouldn’t the entire production fold?

MICKEY: No! …Could it? …Well how would anybody find out?

UI: …someone might mention it?

MICKEY: Ahhh! I see, no that’s where we were clever you see? Because we had everybody on the show sign a non-disclosure agreement. And now if they ever tell anybody they’ll go to prison!

UI: Prison?!

MICKEY: I think so… I’m not sure… Something happens to them anyway… Look I don’t know do I? I didn’t write it, we have solicitors that do that! …That reminds me actually, must get the solicitors to sign it too…

UI: Blimey… This was a big operation wasn’t it? So how many people exactly knew about it?

MICKEY: Hmmm… Let’s think… Well… There was our production team Serena, Jordi, Lewis, Kesseina, Kate… um… oh the production accountant of course, Bryan… lets think… the production co-ordinators, Lottia and Gina… All the camera operators… There’s fifteen of those… Callum our vision engineer, the technical supervisor Mike (nice fellow)… The lighting directors… the production designer Patrick… The construction manager Dave…. Um… Peter the task art designer… Ben, Tom and Rosie the task art directors… Mikki and Annabelle the design assistant… The task carpenters Duncan, Richard and Dylan… Ben Aston the task producer… Woody and Dam the assistant producers… The main house directors Lousie and Shelley… The senior reality directors Ian, Evan and Danny… um… me, obviously… the other producers, Natalie, Judith, Allyson and Andrew…. Joanna the senior production manager… Ross, Lyndsey, Stephen and Elaine the acting production managers… Lynette our unit manager… Who else? Sandra, obviously, the head of production… Ben the series reality director… Katie the story producer… The Endemol Legal team… Four of them, never caught their names. The senior producers Genna, Cally and Mark… The series editors Peter, Rebecca and Lucy… oh and Terry! Who could forget Terry!

UI: What does Terry do?

MICKEY: No idea.

UI: Anybody else?

MICKEY: About forty underlings and a couple of runners.

UI: So in total.. what? Eighty, ninety people?

MICKEY: Yep.

UI: And they all signed it?

MICKEY: Yep.

UI: None of them even questioned it?

MICKEY: Nope.

UI: And your 100% certain none of them, not one, will ever let this slip out?

MICKEY: I am yes.

UI: …Or tell a friend or family member?

MICKEY: Not a chance. Remember, they go to prison if they do… or something.

UI: But what’s to stop them mentioning it anonymously online? Or… Selling it The Sun newspaper for thousands and thousands of pounds, knowing the paper will protect its source.

MICKEY: …They won’t.

UI: Not even Terry?

MICKEY: Especially not Terry… Look nice chatting to you, I’ve got to go, Sam’s here and we need to give him his script for tomorrow. Sign this before you leave will you?

I just know you made that up.

You really are wasted on here KT. I do hope you do somethng with your creative writing in real life.

Loving it!!
👏🏽👍🏻🤘🏽👌🏿

LOL *applause*

I think Terry is Gemma's stunt double. He covers doing anything physical - dancing the tango, doing the splits, carrying a cup of tea and stuff like that.

Very true. Very clever. I loved it. Btw KT what DO you do?

Lol I could almost imagine it to be true.

Takes a lot to bring me out of lurking on any BB thread, in fact I don't think anything ever has. This is classic. Humour and common sense - I think I love you.

Well done.

What I will say is you have too much time on your hands lol

Brilliant KT - thank you!!

Great post! X

You're always very kind Throp.

...but that wasn't creative writing there, that was a leaked transcript.

As little as I can get away with.

Oh of course. Silly me.

*taps nose*

Great read

However Your transcript was doctored before you got it
This bit is wrong>>>>
MICKEY: Well because… um… Do you know what? I forget now… I think it was because she’s married to the executive producer, as I said.

This is the real reason
http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/t...ollins-4945569

aparenty CH5 have plans to air it and expect it to treble their viewing figures

How DARE you suggest I've been hoodwinked!!!!!! ...Seriously though, what is that show? It says itv in that article, where did you get the channel 5 bit from?

Ha ha brilliant So true of course.

I didn't make up the CH5 bit honest, my uncles next door neighbors cousin works as a cleaner for CH5 and heard them talking while she was cleaning the toilets so l know it's true

*high fives*

You actually almost got me there... Which is kind of embarrassing given the slightly smug nature of my thread!

"high fives" ya back

Eh, just for a change I'll miss the point and take it a bit too seriously...

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, will a bit of dodgy shenanigans on a reality tv programme impact on our lives? Maybe not, but... I guess I feel uneasy about the false sense of security people that comes with discussing the more lighthearted side of deceiving people:

'Oh, stop with all the common sense and facts...'

...and these kind of comments tend to stifle discussion of whether thing really are so-called facts.

Full disclosure: Although lying and how it works has always been an interest, this has been heightened for me recently from working in a very corrupt organisation in which, of the c.20,000 staff, probably fewer people have leaked info. than I have fingers on my hands. Of the small number who've tried, almost all have been seen off with, say, bullying (e.g. managers telling fellow staff not to acknowledge the 'trouble maker'/teammate sitting next to them in any way, or making them buy Only Gay in the Village toys as 'joke' Secret Santa gifts).

To consider the sort of things people didn't come forward about:
fraud; bribery; theft; mass destruction of documents; possible manslaughter; possible burglary; sexual misconduct with minors; and a whole host of other things which might make them a little too uniquely identifiable...

...and then look at the other people who knew who've kept it quiet or made it go away:
the police; the CPS; a slew of highly-paid auditors; independent inquiries; contractors; several layers of management; newspapers; the families, etc.



So, based on my experience of watching tens of thousands of people going, 'la, la, la, I can't hear you', do I think it's possible that the 70-odd people you list could do the same?

Well, yes...



After watching contracts and millions of pounds of other people's money being given away to 'friends', right across the board, do I think that people might look out for their own (especially if it might be beneficial to future projects) and not give a second thought to whether they're going to get caught?

Well, yes...



Do I think it's possible that people could/would fix an outcome of a TV show, based on the fact that it's happened before?

Well, yes...



Do I think Big Brother could orchestrate a task in which the housemates could stand behind a podium and BB could rig what came out of each podium, according to the housemate standing there, based on the fact that they've already done that in this series?

Well, yes... (I was thinking about our discussion last night and, whilst I don't disagree with the things you said, it occurred to me that, even if the housemates were told where to stand, the effects of being in a particular position would not be lost on a group of people who might be very aware of their own wants and needs. Also, there's evidence that at least some of them analyse situations and take strategy seriously.)