It's that time again. As the freezingness of January is overwhelmed by unseasonable mildness, ducks race into pens in the garden, trying of course to escape from the housemates. Gemma inexplicably (ha, ha) wins a golden immunity mask.

We are at the business end of CBB. As in years past, if there are any poetically-minded (or not, doesn't matter) Forumers out there, please post your best Haikus.

It's a condensed economic form: 3 lines, of 5, 7, and 5 syllables only. Atmospheric and crystallizing moment.

Here's one - admittedly not very good - to start.

Jez chucks Steph in pool
Noticing her stained tracksuit,
Megan rages on.

Gemma is the one
Chosen to win Big Brother
Shame she's so nasty

Golden mask brought up
By turning broken handles
Is this a wind up?

Red pants on the table
Mortify Steph but heap shame
On the sneaking culprit

Come on, poets and night-owls!

It's very witty.

Our designer vagina
Stops knicker problems
With a built in valve (patent pending)

I'm not a bully
I will tell it like it is
That's the way I am

You don't like me
And I really don't like you
Djoo know what I mean?

If you don't like it
I really couldn't care less
Don't call me bully

I'm leaving!
"Just go through fire exit!"
I've left!....
OH!! I'm back in - what a surprise
Thank you Big Brother!

Ten gold masks for a brilliant effort!

Sleep loss! Missing kids!
Let me go RIGHT NOW BB!!
...or just fix my hair.

Gemma or GC?
They're equally unpleasant.
A pox on them both.

The wisdom of Tiff
(She's really entertaining) :
Quote: "I love young meat"

I'm not watching it
Until they bring full live feed
They can stuff themselves

Buy me a cuppa tea
Put petrol in my car
I`m yours forever

I'm peeling potatoes
Everyone relax and chill out
Argh that's lots of claret

David Bowie dead
Not David Guest in the house
Tiff gets it wrong, melts down

Tiffers wants a bite
All the viewers get is sh..e
So Big Bro it's time to go

David sleeps, undead
Dreams of spider following
Under the duvet

Tiffany alone
I would make it my duty
To please that booty

nice one

Haiku is five
Then seven syllables like this exactly
Thanks Scotty T

Tiff, Steph, Scotty T
What will win for one of these?
Some pratt's snaptwat crap.