for the whole house a very strong chili or curry
Why? because when it comes to sifting in the colander it would go straight through!

would you do a poo for Gillian to inspect?

I would not because its all a con. Excrement inspection when patient doesn't have symptoms that require a test, (such a serious bowel issues) is ridiculous

lets just say this Gillian treatment its a load of.....

HM, I'd have some onion bhaji, they make me rotten the next day.

I'd be happy to crap in a box and show Gillian my efforts. I'd nibble some beetroot and spinach too to give it some red and green streaks, make it all artistic like.