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Worst advert on TV at the moment (Part 12)


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Old 10-08-2016, 20:58
Lesley H
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It’s already been proven by science types that nothing inspires a woman to spend more, than seeing a guy get humiliated in some way. if a woman sees a guy fall in the street, or be a painfully embarrassing dad, it immediately inspires her to go out and buy yogurt and tampons, such is the rationale of the female mind…

Of course, once she has the tampons, she will suddenly get an overwhelming urge to play sport and for some reason, start to care massively about what other people may or may not think about that, possibly to the point of paranoia- she will feel the need to continually bark at people that she is perfectly entitled to play sport, even though nobody was saying anything.

When she’s not playing sport and being all grr about it, she’ll be busy shovelling in the chocolate, just not a snickers or a yorkie. Much like it is a well documented fact that no man has ever eaten a yogurt, It is also a well documented fact that no man has ever eaten any chocolate that isn’t a snickers or a yorkie, and that if a woman attempts to eat either of these products, she sprouts a thick layer of hair on her chest and her voice immediately breaks.

If she is careful though and sticks to woman chocolate, such as malteasers or galaxy, she'll be ok. It may not be amazingly fat free like the yogurt, but it is useful to use as a tool to split up with your boyfriend, or to explain how you broke a friend’s necklace.

At some point, she will require hair and beauty products and she’ll be well catered for, with a variety of magical potions that do everything from putting water in her skin (if for some reason she wants to do that), to making her younger, and plenty of things that make her hair come to life and be revitalised and strong, backed up by proper science, with reassuringly long and complicated sounding words.

With this vast array of great products, 21st century women are smashing the taboos nobody even thought were taboos (or perhaps even knew they cared about)- from kicking around balls to perving on men, there's nothing this strong, liberated, and other buzz words woman can't do, well as long as she is beach ready that is...
Because, as we all know. the world would come to an end if a female dared to venture out of the house without being ready - (pause and pointed stare downwards) - down there
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Old 11-08-2016, 02:00
midds
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The bet one where he throws his hat at the start and she catches it in her teeth.
I see they've added a bit at the end where she throws the camera and he catches it in his teeth.

I've seen the one since where he leaves the house with no trousers but funnily not yet the one where they've added her following with no top.
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Old 11-08-2016, 20:01
Tiwttmos
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James Martin's stuffed layered loaf looks disgusting in that Asda ad.
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Old 11-08-2016, 21:00
Yorkshire Steve
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James Martin's stuffed layered loaf looks disgusting in that Asda ad.
I can't work out how you would go about eating that to replace a sandwich
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Old 11-08-2016, 21:33
BellaRosa
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I'd tend to agree, James Corden as a presenter is fine.

However I find his comical acting to be (a little) wooden, not terrible, just wooden. And as a VO artist for adverts just terrible.

I seriously hope he is doing the old English star thing of accepting almost anything & everything in order to build up a nestegg for the rest of his life, and once he hits his target he will become far more selective about what he does. Just like Michael Caine and the late Bob Hoskins did.

Hoskins & Caine worked their a**es off and then in their 40's were able to just work on projects they wanted to be involved in, giving them complete creative freedom.
I think you could be right there. He must already have a massive nest egg with all he has done already,
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Old 11-08-2016, 21:35
BellaRosa
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I quite like a lot of the shows on Dave but am so fed up with the trailers featuring that d***head and his daily mishaps (backed by a nice old Hermann and the Hermits song) being shown at least once, sometimes twice, in every ad break that I'll be avoiding the channel for the foreseeable future.

Do they really, really not realise how annoying and counter-productive excessive repetition is? I refer you to Nick Grey and his GTech bloody Airram and rest my case.
My dog goes nuts as soon as that ad starts. I hate it
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Old 11-08-2016, 21:55
Steve9214
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I seriously hope he is doing the old English star thing of accepting almost anything & everything in order to build up a nestegg for the rest of his life, and once he hits his target he will become far more selective about what he does. Just like Michael Caine and the late Bob Hoskins did.

Hoskins & Caine worked their a**es off and then in their 40's were able to just work on projects they wanted to be involved in, giving them complete creative freedom.
Michael Caine was completely honest about doing movies just for the money, and he even showed Laurence Olivier how to crowbar money out of Hollywood producers desperate to get his name attached to appalling films.

IIRC Caine once said "I have never seen 'Jaws 4 - The Revenge', but I have seen the house it paid for, which is magnificent"
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Old 11-08-2016, 23:27
bbclassics
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Bumper ads on Gold - something to do with Which Insurance I think? Anyway the idea is someone presses buttons with different written options on them - but the hand models nails are dirty -yuck.
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Old 12-08-2016, 06:55
nan_tha
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What does he even say at the beginning?

I gather he's trying to say something like ''Smooth mooooove, Akabusi in the room'', but it comes out as ''Smooth moooove, Akabusi ennna hoooo! Hahahahaha''
He says "Boom-boom; Akabusi in the room. HAHAHAHA".
It is apparently very fashionable for 'blokes' to say 'boom'. Don't ask me why
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Old 12-08-2016, 08:18
Sadly All Seein
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He says "Boom-boom; Akabusi in the room. HAHAHAHA".
It is apparently very fashionable for 'blokes' to say 'boom'. Don't ask me why
Wasn't that his catchphrase in the late 80s early 90s?
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Old 12-08-2016, 12:48
Lesley H
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Wasn't that his catchphrase in the late 80s early 90s?
I thought it was Basil Brush's
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Old 12-08-2016, 14:19
BobtheBold
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Has anyone voted for the HMG's Pension plan with the giant furry thing walking in the park.?
hate it because it do not say how risky these pension pots are and how a lot of workers opt out - i bet the bhs staff wish they had self administrated their pension contributions.
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Old 12-08-2016, 17:50
BellaRosa
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Tesco's with Ruth Jones. Why has she lowered herself to this crap!
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Old 12-08-2016, 18:34
james143611
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Agreed with the fragrances, they never seem to makes sense either, like a man and a woman in a rowing boat cruising through some scenic mountains? Or the recent one with someone making shapes from something white then turns into a bottle (sorry can't remember what it's called)

I don't usually pay attention to ad's, but have been trying to recently for this great thread
Recent ones:

- That Royal Navy recruit ad, sorry no point training to fix a Lynx Mk8 Helicopter, they are going soon.
Anyway, basically it's saying if you can fix a skateboard, you can fix anything up to a destroyer boat, you'd have to be friggin amazing!

- Oakwood furniture sales getting a bit old now, what happened to DFS? they used to have a sale because it was Tuesday or something stupid.

Tesco ad changed rather quickly from the Maze one, is it because he said 'Turn left and...yes we are, we're lost' but actually looked right instead of left?


James.
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Old 12-08-2016, 20:21
Istvan
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Has anyone voted for the HMG's Pension plan with the giant furry thing walking in the park.?
hate it because it do not say how risky these pension pots are and how a lot of workers opt out - i bet the bhs staff wish they had self administrated their pension contributions.
it also means that the government won't have to pay out so much in state pensions
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Old 12-08-2016, 20:23
Kaftanman
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I thought it was Basil Brush's
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Old 12-08-2016, 22:14
matt86
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Direct Line and their 22 year-old reference to Pulp Fiction in the 'Winston Wolf' character. Ugh. Hate the way he tells the person what they've done, too. "You were on the way to a hen party when you got hit in your car" etc.
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Old 13-08-2016, 18:32
DroolinFool
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Tesco's with Ruth Jones. Why has she lowered herself to this crap!
No idea who "Ruth Jones" was pre Tesco adverts (now known as the "fat woman off the horrible Tesco adverts"), but judging by her stilted, wooden and absolutely appalling acting in these Tesco adverts she's hardly "lowering" herself to anything.

Same as the current James Martin rumours of becoming the new top gear presentor - absolutely no chance after those utter crock of shit wooden ASDA adverts he has done recently. Nobody in the right mind would want him presenting anything at all.

Direct Line and their 22 year-old reference to Pulp Fiction in the 'Winston Wolf' character. Ugh. Hate the way he tells the person what they've done, too. "You were on the way to a hen party when you got hit in your car" etc.
Don't knock it. I'd rather watch that single advert every now and again vs the shyte they had a few years back with Stephen Fry and Paul Merchant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRIRyzViLBM) which was literally repeated every single chuffing advert break on almost every channel. You'd literally see it like 20+ times per day.
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Old 13-08-2016, 19:03
Willpurry
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- That Royal Navy recruit ad, sorry no point training to fix a Lynx Mk8 Helicopter, they are going soon.
Anyway, basically it's saying if you can fix a skateboard, you can fix anything up to a destroyer boat, you'd have to be friggin amazing!.
You can LEARN to fix is what it says.
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Old 13-08-2016, 19:12
G3rol
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That bloody advert for Team GB with Lorraine Kelly.,..." I'm in Team GB, are YOUooo"
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Old 13-08-2016, 19:55
BellaRosa
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No idea who "Ruth Jones" was pre Tesco adverts (now known as the "fat woman off the horrible Tesco adverts"), but judging by her stilted, wooden and absolutely appalling acting in these Tesco adverts she's hardly "lowering" herself to anything.

Same as the current James Martin rumours of becoming the new top gear presentor - absolutely no chance after those utter crock of shit wooden ASDA adverts he has done recently. Nobody in the right mind would want him presenting anything at all.



Don't knock it. I'd rather watch that single advert every now and again vs the shyte they had a few years back with Stephen Fry and Paul Merchant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRIRyzViLBM) which was literally repeated every single chuffing advert break on almost every channel. You'd literally see it like 20+ times per day.


BIB... Really. She is half of the massive hit comedy Gavin and Stacey. Also in Stella on Sky. So she has lowered her standards to do the Tesco's ad's.
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Old 13-08-2016, 20:33
midds
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Don't knock it. I'd rather watch that single advert every now and again vs the shyte they had a few years back with Stephen Fry and Paul Merchant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRIRyzViLBM) which was literally repeated every single chuffing advert break on almost every channel. You'd literally see it like 20+ times per day.
Quite liked the first series of Pointless until Alexander Armstrong started doing some very annoying Direct Line adverts, haven't been able to watch an episode since.
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Old 13-08-2016, 21:06
Petitshoo
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The ad for Decadence by Mark Jacobs annoys the life out of me. I often roll around on floor holding a bottle of perfume ... not!
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Old 13-08-2016, 21:17
rubberduck3y6
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The Microsoft ad with the American mountain guide woman going on about how she's "summitted Everest six times". Great for her, but we don't need to hear her going on about it in her annoying Yank accent in almost every single ad break. Her Broadway producer mate Beowulf (seriously that's his actual name!) is equally as annoying.
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Old 13-08-2016, 21:41
China Girl
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That bloody advert for Team GB with Lorraine Kelly.,..." I'm in Team GB, are YOUooo"
I was about to post exactly this,
and the way she says GBeeeee.
I can't bear the woman, especially her fixed grin. I avoid her morning show, but now she's on adverts as well, so hard to avoid completely.
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