Echoing the sentiment of recent posters (except King Kunta), here is..
The Weedy Review
Izzy Bizu – I hear whiny wail, waily whine. Is that a song? You will need both the blanks to spell her name in Scrabble.
Claire Maguire – Same song as Izzy, but wails in a deeper pitch. Same question.
Jain – French singer-songwriter with an awfully affected breathy delivery. Nice video though, obviously inspired by Escher.
Issa - Well she is Norwegian, so that puts Jaccobabe firmly in the frame. But hang on, is he really a fan of Shania Twain type music? No, I’m sure he likes whiny wails.
Marina and Diamonds – She’s been in these contests before, she has at least one champion of her dull tedious tunes. I wonder if this is BigBMad’s return entry?
Lou Bega – Who doesn’t love a Latin American beat from a German of Italian and Ugandan descent who fancies himself as a rapper and a heavily sampled soundtrack from Perez Pravdo. Well, me obviously. I wonder what the first four Mambos were like? Of course if the FM who submitted this is a cricket fan, then I get it.
Tom Odell – Young bloke grizzling tunelessly. Ghastly.
Jorge Blanco – Standard paint-by-numbers song. Stick to acting my boy, preferably in telenovas that I will never see.
Pinga – India’s answer to the Tiller Girls. Cast of thousands. “What have you done in the movies before?” – “I was the 12th girl from the right in the second row of Pinga.” That’s enough to get you on the next Celebrity Big Brother.
Aneeka – Not the jump-suited bottom we used to watch in Treasure Hunt in the 80s then. We like Venezuelan girls, but she’s not as hot as Patricia Velasquez.
Veruca Salt – Ah yes, a song from the proper Willy Wonka movie. Put in by a musical theatre fan who is fed up of all the same whiny waily songs.
Demi Lovato – That’s it, play the dramatic music really loud so we won’t notice that there’s no tune, just a load of shouting. And Demi, you still punch like a girl.
Juulia – Finnish girl who likes to sing and perform in her vest and pants. Just like all three year old girls.
Lolly – Tinny girly Disney sounds that only dogs can hear. And me now, because Nursey has just irrigated my ears and removed 50 years of accumulated crap. No video, so went back to looking at pictures of Patricia Velasquez. Yummm.
Cab Calloway – I merely point you in the direction of phil363’s recent comments at the bottom of Page 66 – he obviously pays attention and reads my reviews.
Foxes – Another boring song. In fact the only remarkable thing is that the previous entry was singing about Minnie (again) and the girl turns up in the video wearing Minnie mouse ears. Was that a deliberate Christer Bjorkman arrangement ChickenfromKiev?
Interlude – Oooh! No, not a naked picture of the Velasquez girl, I have just seen a Flash advert where they have reworded the Queen song and made a dog sing it. Might put that in next time…
London Grammar – Woe, woe is me, misery, misery. Skip.
Hailee Steinfield – See Izzy Bizu.
Lana Del Rey – Another artist who features frequently here, the FM responsible is seriously depressed and needs to get out more..
The Communards – Someone else put in a Communards song into Fantasy. Oh, it was me! But I put in a good song, nice and cheerful. This is more another tune for dogs (see Lolly). Poor Jimmy Somerville, did his balls ever drop?
Savage Garden – The verse is just one note isn’t it? No there is a second one - that’s practically a keychange.
Britney Spears – I see she is still doing the lickey tongue ‘L’s then. Frenetic video, pointless song with no tune.
Greta Salome – Good grief, the soles of her feet must be like leather to do that video. And she’s small enough to be a hobbit. Very artistic – and terribly dull.
Hedley – named after the Harvey Korman character in Blazing Saddles no doubt. (They are not, but, why spoil a good story?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBmkyDTX08Y
Pop Rock, Wiki says, bollox I say, just another whiny boy wailing. (Possible Easter Egg alert – have just typed Hedley Lamarr into Google and Hedy came up first!)
Ocean Colour Scene – Band who have supported Paul Weller and Oasis, and this song shows why they didn’t make the big time. I had sunglasses like that in the 80s. I looked as cool as they do.
The Weedy Review
Izzy Bizu – I hear whiny wail, waily whine. Is that a song? You will need both the blanks to spell her name in Scrabble.
Claire Maguire – Same song as Izzy, but wails in a deeper pitch. Same question.
Jain – French singer-songwriter with an awfully affected breathy delivery. Nice video though, obviously inspired by Escher.
Issa - Well she is Norwegian, so that puts Jaccobabe firmly in the frame. But hang on, is he really a fan of Shania Twain type music? No, I’m sure he likes whiny wails.
Marina and Diamonds – She’s been in these contests before, she has at least one champion of her dull tedious tunes. I wonder if this is BigBMad’s return entry?
Lou Bega – Who doesn’t love a Latin American beat from a German of Italian and Ugandan descent who fancies himself as a rapper and a heavily sampled soundtrack from Perez Pravdo. Well, me obviously. I wonder what the first four Mambos were like? Of course if the FM who submitted this is a cricket fan, then I get it.
Tom Odell – Young bloke grizzling tunelessly. Ghastly.
Jorge Blanco – Standard paint-by-numbers song. Stick to acting my boy, preferably in telenovas that I will never see.
Pinga – India’s answer to the Tiller Girls. Cast of thousands. “What have you done in the movies before?” – “I was the 12th girl from the right in the second row of Pinga.” That’s enough to get you on the next Celebrity Big Brother.
Aneeka – Not the jump-suited bottom we used to watch in Treasure Hunt in the 80s then. We like Venezuelan girls, but she’s not as hot as Patricia Velasquez.
Veruca Salt – Ah yes, a song from the proper Willy Wonka movie. Put in by a musical theatre fan who is fed up of all the same whiny waily songs.
Demi Lovato – That’s it, play the dramatic music really loud so we won’t notice that there’s no tune, just a load of shouting. And Demi, you still punch like a girl.
Juulia – Finnish girl who likes to sing and perform in her vest and pants. Just like all three year old girls.
Lolly – Tinny girly Disney sounds that only dogs can hear. And me now, because Nursey has just irrigated my ears and removed 50 years of accumulated crap. No video, so went back to looking at pictures of Patricia Velasquez. Yummm.
Cab Calloway – I merely point you in the direction of phil363’s recent comments at the bottom of Page 66 – he obviously pays attention and reads my reviews.
Foxes – Another boring song. In fact the only remarkable thing is that the previous entry was singing about Minnie (again) and the girl turns up in the video wearing Minnie mouse ears. Was that a deliberate Christer Bjorkman arrangement ChickenfromKiev?
Interlude – Oooh! No, not a naked picture of the Velasquez girl, I have just seen a Flash advert where they have reworded the Queen song and made a dog sing it. Might put that in next time…
London Grammar – Woe, woe is me, misery, misery. Skip.
Hailee Steinfield – See Izzy Bizu.
Lana Del Rey – Another artist who features frequently here, the FM responsible is seriously depressed and needs to get out more..
The Communards – Someone else put in a Communards song into Fantasy. Oh, it was me! But I put in a good song, nice and cheerful. This is more another tune for dogs (see Lolly). Poor Jimmy Somerville, did his balls ever drop?
Savage Garden – The verse is just one note isn’t it? No there is a second one - that’s practically a keychange.
Britney Spears – I see she is still doing the lickey tongue ‘L’s then. Frenetic video, pointless song with no tune.
Greta Salome – Good grief, the soles of her feet must be like leather to do that video. And she’s small enough to be a hobbit. Very artistic – and terribly dull.
Hedley – named after the Harvey Korman character in Blazing Saddles no doubt. (They are not, but, why spoil a good story?) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBmkyDTX08Y
Pop Rock, Wiki says, bollox I say, just another whiny boy wailing. (Possible Easter Egg alert – have just typed Hedley Lamarr into Google and Hedy came up first!)
Ocean Colour Scene – Band who have supported Paul Weller and Oasis, and this song shows why they didn’t make the big time. I had sunglasses like that in the 80s. I looked as cool as they do.
