JP and Ste took quite a long time to sleep together iirc and i think the HIV came up as one of the reasons for that but it was more the trauma of the rape.

In some ways, even though he is intelligent (we are told) i can believe that Harry would just ignore it because he is young and in love with the romantanticism of the 'forbidden lovers' and angst ridden boyfriend side of things and the HIV is part of that.

Sigh this thread just highlights the real lack of knowledge around HIV.

Having sex with someone you know is HIV + is probably far safer than having sex with someone whose status you do not know.

HIV isn't the problem, reckless sex without knowledge about the sexual partner is the problem.

No reason at all not to have sex with someone who is HIV+... If you know you take the precautions you feel are reasonable for you to take.

As someone else stated, the partner study indicates that if the HIV+ person is on anti virals and has undetectable viral load then they are very unlikely to cause infection. In fact in the partner study not one single case of transmission has ocurred.

However, it appears to me some of the issue of not sleeping with someone with HIV comes from the implied view hat they are "dirty" "infected" or "untrustworthy".

People with HIV are people and it is very unlikely they would want to pass on their HIV to you on purpose.

Well it doesn't say much for you if you would end a relationship because someone had an illness! I think a lucky escape from the person who you were deciding to give a chance to because they understand it is a lot for YOU to take on.... When, in your scenario they have just been diagnosed...

In fact it is attitudes like yours that cause people to hide their status in the first place.

What I'm saying is that if I were in a pre-existing relationship with someone, I wouldn't end the relationship because they'd been diagnosed. Unless, of course, they'd caught it by cheating on me- and the issue there wouldn't be being HIV positive, it would be the unfaithfulness.

What I meant is, if I'd just met someone and they told me they were HIV positive, yes, I it would give me pause- as a lot of people in this thread have said. But like I said, being honest and upfront would make a lot of difference and it certainly wouldn't be an immediate dealbreaker, but I think if I were HIV positive, I'd understand that entering in a sexual relationship with someone with the illness is a big deal and wouldn't expect them to treat it lightly.

Sorry if it came across like I was saying something else...

FYI the situation you described is what happened to me and i never for one second considered leaving my partner. We had been together for 6 weeks and he was diagnosed HIV+... I would never have ended the relationship because he had been diagnosed it never for one second crossed my mind.

8 yeas down the line the HIV is really insignificant in our relationship it is just not relevant to the relationship at all. To us.

Other people are the problem sometimes with their 1980s attitudes

I totally respect and admire you for the choice you made. However you shouldn't judge others for being honest about whether they would or would not sleep with someone who was hiv positive.

If I met someone fell madly in love with them and they told me they were hiv positive then obviously it would be a no brained.

However casual relationship wise I would not.

If there was a way around it in a careful way, then yes.

How do you know you haven't? Do you ask for a sexual history of everyone you have slept with before you sleep with them? Do you expect someone with HIV to disclose to you they are HIV? When they know you (society) are likely to say "no" even though risk of transmission is minimal? If you don't ask should they have to tell? Where does he line of responsibility lie? With them to tell or you to ask?

I think it is a shame to miss out because of something that is unlikely to be passed on.

Why are you being so aggressive?
I think it's rude to ask someone their medical history actually

Not aggressive just a list of questions.

Sorry if it came across aggressive but I guess experiencing discrimination based on HIV status I find it frustrating and disappointing that in 2016 it is still considered an issue.

I think it is important to see the person and not define them by the HIV status alone, which happens.

Fair enough. I do understand. I'm sorry if you felt I was being ignorant.

I am going to be giving the benefit of doubt that you are not informed of facts or that was a typing mistake.

I would not personally as even safe sex isn't guareenteed. I would be in a sexlesss relationship with someone with HIV but I definatly wouldn't have sex with anyone with it.

To be honest, I would think that it is reasonable for any sexual partner to disclose if they have an STI. Even condoms have a failure rate (something like 0.0001% but still a failure rate).

While I've never been in the situation, I would imagine that if I was in love with the person, it wouldn't be an issue for me especially with stuff like PREP. But, I don't know how comfortable I'd be in regards to casual sex - it would probably be subconscious - but I guess its the old view of "is it worth it?".

Oh really?

I love these threads where people are asked to answer a question and if it doesn't comply with the PC morality brigade you get jumped on and called names.

some folk need to join the real world

but for me its a hard question, I want to say No, why would I put myself at risk but then you never know who you might meet or how you might a truly feel in the circumstances and so until you are in that situation you cant give a black or white answer.

oh and before anyone jumps, no I am not ill informed or a bigot or anything else there is always some degree of risk and its not just the sex is it

To be fair, I can completely understand your point of view.

I'd say "No, I wouldn't sleep with someone with HIV" but I'm demisexual and don't feel sexual attraction so I wouldn't sleep with someone who didn't have HIV either.

To the people debating whether or not you should have to reveal that you are HIV+ (if you are) it's probably worth pointing out that most countries/juristrictions have laws about criminal transmission of HIV; for most of them it seems to boil down to if you have unsafe sex with someone when you are HIV+ and you infect them, without having told them that you are HIV+ you can be tried and convicted.

Assuming that was directed to me, then yes really. Is it worth putting yourself at risk of HIV, Chlamydia, Hepatitis B, or any other STI, however slight for one night of sex? I'd say it was for a person I loved and wanted to spend my life with, but not for a hookup. Others would argue that it is worth it, but I'm not that much into casual sex anyway. That's just my opinion even if its not the most PC

It's a grey area, I don't think you can judge anyone either way, it's personal choice, you take a risk every time you have sex, even if you are as careful as possible.

I don't understand your "join the real world" or "always some degree of risk and it's not just the sex" ?

I do think there is a degree of ignorance with people who say they would discount sex/relationship based on someone's HIV status and it does make me feel a bit sad. That is because I know that in my own experience the HIV status is really not a barrier to a good sex life or, more importantly, a good long lasting relationship. I do understand why people may worry but I think if they knew the reality they would worry less.

yes, and I do. condoms and Prep make the chance of transmission almost zero. besides that, this is a ltr.

You can get infected with HIV by other means, not just by having sex.

join the real word not everyone is pc or shares the same opinion. you cannot force people to have your view but its always a good trait to be able see past your own point of view and be mature enough to have a discussion without having to resort to name calling.. ahem moving on ...

your last paragraph its not ignorance on my part, did you read what I said, but life is about choices and everyone is allowed to make their own, great that things have worked out for you, doesnt mean it would for everyone because to put it bluntly not everyone is the same. to say if people knew the reality they would see it as not a risk is very judgmental on your part

I said "worry less" ,I do think a lot of people still think of HIV as it was in the 1980s. I didn't judge anyone in that post or with that comment. I do think people woukd worry less if they had all the information, but understand they may have no reason to find out the information unless the situation presented itself to them where they would want to look up the information.

I am unsure about your comment about other means of infection, it require an exchange of body fluids but it isn't that easy to catch, we don't usually exchange enough bodily fluids for infection in normal daily activity.

have you done a poll on the general public to come to this conclusion?

It is my view based on comments on threads like this and comments I have experienced in the "real world".

However there is still stigma about HIV and this thread shows this as do a number of articles from last year.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/04/hiv-positive-leak-patients-stigma

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/nov/11/hiv-stigma-1980s

http://www.nat.org.uk/Media-and-Blog/Press-Releases/2014/April/30%20years%20on%20yet%20public%20knowledge%20of%20HIV%20stuck%20in%20the%20past.aspx