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Jay McGuiness and Aliona Vilani appreciation thread - Part 6


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Old 29-12-2016, 17:52
BionicBard
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Then the only viable solution
Is to take it to an institution
Which dry cleans scarves within the hour
And wait for Jay to take a shower
Then scoop it up from off the floor
And race with it out of the door
And beg and plead for service urgent
And specify not a scrap of detergent
As a multitude of germs it must harbour
(And by the way its label says Barbour)
Then dash back with it across the town
Just in time to towel him down
Although thoughts of anything but Barbour
Could be difficult for our man to harbour
I have an alternative proposition
Which may remove his inhibition
For there is a scarf of smooth cashmere
That would cosset his curls from ear to ear
And it's something that I'm sure would suit him
As it comes from the House of Aquascutum
And he may just say 'Oh what the heck....
I'll wear anything as long as it's check'
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Old 29-12-2016, 18:17
KorkyTheCat
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Although thoughts of anything but Barbour
Could be difficult for our man to harbour
I have an alternative proposition
Which may remove his inhibition
For there is a scarf of smooth cashmere
That would cosset his curls from ear to ear
And it's something that I'm sure would suit him
As it comes from the House of Aquascutum
And he may just say 'Oh what the heck....
I'll wear anything as long as it's check'
But he has now grown so attached
To his scarf which he thinks cannot be matched
And with its lovely tartan check
It will be hard to prise from his neck.
The cashmere one does sound ideal
But he may consider it a raw deal
And resist swapping with all his might
And wear just his scarf all through the night
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Old 29-12-2016, 18:32
BionicBard
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But he has now grown so attached
To his scarf which he thinks cannot be matched
And with its lovely tartan check
It will be hard to prise from his neck.
The cashmere one does sound ideal
But he may consider it a raw deal
And resist swapping with all his might
And wear just his scarf all through the night
Now I seem to remember that this man
Is a well-known silken boxers fan
So the appeal of a truly natural fibre
(Be it round his neck or up the Khyber)
Is never going to feel the fear
In a snuggly piece of pure cashmere....
But I guess we won't get any rest
Until he puts it to the test !
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Old 29-12-2016, 19:34
KorkyTheCat
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Now I seem to remember that this man
Is a well-known silken boxers fan
So the appeal of a truly natural fibre
(Be it round his neck or up the Khyber)
Is never going to feel the fear
In a snuggly piece of pure cashmere....
But I guess we won't get any rest
Until he puts it to the test !
We live in hope that he alternates
His scarves or he'll be in dire straits
As his fave will become a tad unpleasant
So perhaps we ought to buy him a present
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Old 29-12-2016, 19:35
KorkyTheCat
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With Siva today at Big. 💕

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C03axRUWgAEo0pc.jpg
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Old 29-12-2016, 20:09
BionicBard
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We live in hope that he alternates
His scarves or he'll be in dire straits
As his fave will become a tad unpleasant
So perhaps we ought to buy him a present
The solution's patently clear to see
To warm his neck he doesn't need me
But a little cat of poetic bent
Whose fur will be quite heaven-sent
And while she purrs contentedly
From his knobbly scarf he can be freed!
And until it's back without a pill
He won't be feeling winter's chill...
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Old 29-12-2016, 20:11
BionicBard
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Lovely pic, thanks
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Old 29-12-2016, 20:22
Lola the cat
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This is all very well, but when I have tried this technique with son, nephew, great-niece, great-nephew Jayalike (currently in disgrace for being an awkward little s*d, btw), grand-daughter, grandson (both mine and neighbours) and assorted cats .............

It doesn't smell right!
Ah yes, the smell, for some reason son wasn't worried about the revolting lump of blue fleece smelling different but the beanie mouse he took to bed every night that was a different matter, when I washed it because it had got so revolting, yes that was pretty traumatic to say the least.

There are a number of comments I've seen on twitter advising him to wrap up and stop wearing shorts, they always make me laugh because youngest son, (who is also being a bit annoying at the moment, I'm quite willing to pack him up and send him to Isih to keep disgraced great-nephew company) lives in shorts as well. This morning it was -3 out and the cars were white with frost and he was out scrapping the ice off his little car at 7.45am wearing shorts!

The scarf - one way of getting him to release his grip on it is to point out that Barbour is associated with the huntin', shootin', fishin' fraternity and the nice cashmere, from an ethical source, will be round his neck in a trice.
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Old 29-12-2016, 20:48
BionicBard
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Ah yes, the smell, for some reason son wasn't worried about the revolting lump of blue fleece smelling different but the beanie mouse he took to bed every night that was a different matter, when I washed it because it had got so revolting, yes that was pretty traumatic to say the least.



There are a number of comments I've seen on twitter advising him to wrap up and stop wearing shorts, they always make me laugh because youngest son, (who is also being a bit annoying at the moment, I'm quite willing to pack him up and send him to Isih to keep disgraced great-nephew company) lives in shorts as well. This morning it was -3 out and the cars were white with frost and he was out scrapping the ice off his little car at 7.45am wearing shorts!

The scarf - one way of getting him to release his grip on it is to point out that Barbour is associated with the huntin', shootin', fishin' fraternity and the nice cashmere, from an ethical source, will be round his neck in a trice.
We Barbour-totin' country types do so because there's nowt better to keep out the wind & wet. But back in the baronial halls we like to wrap up in cashmere too!
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Old 30-12-2016, 03:23
nelliek
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Now I seem to remember that this man
Is a well-known silken boxers fan
So the appeal of a truly natural fibre
(Be it round his neck or up the Khyber)
Is never going to feel the fear
In a snuggly piece of pure cashmere....
But I guess we won't get any rest
Until he puts it to the test !

Loving all the poems, ladies, but BIB made me laugh out loud.
(Hopefully I didn't wake up the neighbours who might wonder what's making me laugh at this time o'clock. )
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Old 30-12-2016, 07:26
KorkyTheCat
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Loving all the poems, ladies, but BIB made me laugh out loud.
(Hopefully I didn't wake up the neighbours who might wonder what's making me laugh at this time o'clock. )
Yes, that's a well-known erudite, winsome, poetical turn of phrase...

*

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C04d9alWIAA92Ie.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C04dsqLXUAEKReB.jpg
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Old 30-12-2016, 08:54
BionicBard
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Brung up in these envoirons
Oi'll never be no Byron
And a loiftoime wearin' wellies
Means Oi ain't gonna be no Shelley
Though wot Oi wroits be trash
Oi'd larve ter be Ogden Nash
But Oi wroits just like Oi talks
And not all bootiful, like Korks!
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Old 30-12-2016, 09:26
jackybob
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Good morning ladies. I am loving the scarf poems from Korky and BB. You really make me laugh. I hope everyone had a good Christmas. The highlight of mine was a visit to the West Yorkshire Playhouse to see the UK premiere of Strictly Ballroom. Very silly, very funny and really well done. I loved it.I was surprised hat it was a full blown musical. Lots of songs. It made a nice change. All I am waiting for though is Big to go to the West End because I will definitely be going to that!
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Old 30-12-2016, 11:11
Whiffle_09
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Love the scarfy bardic baton-passing Korky & BB👏👏 really cheery on a horrible foggy morning - so glad I can walk to work as I wouldn't fancy driving in this weather!🌁🌁. take care anyone who has to drive today.

(BTW had a nice Jaydeam last night )
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Old 30-12-2016, 11:18
StrictlyRed
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The poems from yesterday evening and this morning have just entertained me during my morning coffee, so thank you Korky and BB. 👏😀
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Old 30-12-2016, 12:33
Drizzle1
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We Barbour-totin' country types do so because there's nowt better to keep out the wind & wet. But back in the baronial halls we like to wrap up in cashmere too!
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Old 30-12-2016, 12:38
Lola the cat
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We Barbour-totin' country types do so because there's nowt better to keep out the wind & wet. But back in the baronial halls we like to wrap up in cashmere too!
Well that put me firmly in my place, looks out of window, oh yes I'm still surrounded by rolling fields and magnificent hills in the countryside.

Moral - don't always make assumptions about people.
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Old 30-12-2016, 13:10
BionicBard
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Well that put me firmly in my place, looks out of window, oh yes I'm still surrounded by rolling fields and magnificent hills in the countryside.

Moral - don't always make assumptions about people.
There you go! All tongue in cheek and no harm intended or done.
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Old 30-12-2016, 13:48
KorkyTheCat
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Brung up in these envoirons
Oi'll never be no Byron
And a loiftoime wearin' wellies
Means Oi ain't gonna be no Shelley
Though wot Oi wroits be trash
Oi'd larve ter be Ogden Nash
But Oi wroits just like Oi talks
And not all bootiful, like Korks!
Though you are not la-di-da
Your poetry is not sub-par.
In fact you sound so very refined
And your chosen words improve the mind.
I do aver you're up there with Owen
Notwithstanding all the foregoing...
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Old 30-12-2016, 13:52
KorkyTheCat
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Love the scarfy bardic baton-passing Korky & BB👏👏 really cheery on a horrible foggy morning - so glad I can walk to work as I wouldn't fancy driving in this weather!🌁🌁. take care anyone who has to drive today.

(BTW had a nice Jaydeam last night )
Swap my Jaypics for your Jaydream? 🤔 😍

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C07YGzaXgAAVMX4.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C07YIWtWgAEPmUP.jpg
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Old 30-12-2016, 14:20
Lola the cat
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There you go! All tongue in cheek and no harm intended or done.
Love you really BB - mwah
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Old 30-12-2016, 18:25
CatO9Tales
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Clutching his lunch and flashing his knees

There have been loads of lovely comments about Big on Twitter and Facebook today. Lots of people enjoying it tremendously.
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Old 30-12-2016, 18:30
Whiffle_09
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Ok but the dreams I can remember tend to be a bit abstract

It starts in the bathroom with me looking at a crack in the ceiling a bit like the one in Dr Who a couple of series ago. It seems to be oozing soapsuds but I can't put on the light as the fuse has tripped. However I know I am in a dream & want to wake up.

Next I have been taken somewhere(?) by a friend(??) as some people are coming(???). I am sitting curled up in the corner of a lovely sofa (maybe a Chesterfield) in my comfy but a bit tatty 'change after work' clothes.

Someone sits beside me & I know it's J. I explain about waiting to wake up & (sorry J if you are lurking) he leans forward & kisses me

As I say somewhat abstract............
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Old 30-12-2016, 18:32
KorkyTheCat
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Clutching his lunch and flashing his knees

There have been loads of lovely comments about Big on Twitter and Facebook today. Lots of people enjoying it tremendously.
Yay! I've not read a bad word about Jay or Big! 💕

I shall have to give his poor knees a good warming chafing tonight...
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Old 30-12-2016, 18:35
KorkyTheCat
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Ok but the dreams I can remember tend to be a bit abstract

It starts in the bathroom with me looking at a crack in the ceiling a bit like the one in Dr Who a couple of series ago. It seems to be oozing soapsuds but I can't put on the light as the fuse has tripped. However I know I am in a dream & want to wake up.

Next I have been taken somewhere(?) by a friend(??) as some people are coming(???). I am sitting curled up in the corner of a lovely sofa (maybe a Chesterfield) in my comfy but a bit tatty 'change after work' clothes.

Someone sits beside me & I know it's J. I explain about waiting to wake up & (sorry J if you are lurking) he leans forward & kisses me

As I say somewhat abstract............
Thanks! Looking forward to Part 2...
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