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EE casts non-LGBT character in shock twist


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Old 01-06-2016, 18:55
PastyPalmer
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In a move that has outraged LGBT fans and campaigners, EastEnders has made the shocking decision to cast a straight character. The 100 % heterosexual role of 'Straight Dave' will be introduced to viewers next month as a friend of sexy paramedic Tom Pepper.

Tom, who was recently knocked back by Johnny, who is flirting with Steven, who once came on to Christian, whose brother-in-law's brother is Ben, who is dating Paul, but who used to fancy Johnny, whose sister is Tina, who lives with Sonia, whose ex-husband is brother in law to Kyle, whose best friend Sophie, had a one night stand with Tina.

Show boses are keeping tight lipped about what's in store for Straight Dave, who is described as a ladies man, but teased that for one Walford resident, life will never be the same again. They added that viewers should be prepared for some pretty racey scenes in which Dave will be seen cavorting in the alley way with a leading female character, in secret. The heteronormative charity Straightwall has welcomed the move, saying 'It's about time we saw more straight characters in EastEnders'.

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The small print... Note DS forum readers:
I'm a gay man who loves all the LGBT representation in EE right now. I also like writing satire too, so hope that no one finds this offensive 😉
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Old 01-06-2016, 18:59
cyrilandshirley
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I laughed.

Sounds like Queer as ****.
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:05
_elly001
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Look, I'm not heterophobic, in fact some of my best friends are straight, but the BBC need to stop box ticking. Do we really need to see a man and woman making out before the watershed? How am I meant to explain that to my fabulous gay kids?
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:07
attitude99
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Look, I'm not heterophobic, in fact some of my best friends are straight, but the BBC need to stop box ticking. Do we really need to see a man and woman making out before the watershed? How am I meant to explain that to my fabulous gay kids?


Ugh I don't want to have explain to my children why that man and woman are kissing. EastEnders is a family show and should not include this type of filth! I'm fine with my kids watching violence, murders, fights, swearing, rape, car crashes and all that but the line has been crossed when a man and a woman kiss!!
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:08
PastyPalmer
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Look, I'm not heterophobic, in fact some of my best friends are straight, but the BBC need to stop box ticking. Do we really need to see a man and woman making out before the watershed? How am I meant to explain that to my fabulous gay kids?
❤️❤️❤️
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:13
little-monster
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I don't want to offend anyone but this is simply against my beliefs and what I know as a human being. I have been raised to love and care for anyone of all backgrounds. The whole "love thy neighbor" bollocks. But I simply can't. I am sorry. This is just too far. This is against humanity and I would go as far as calling it an "abomination"

A man shall not lie with woman

It's written............somewhere

And now I have to sit down with today's generation and explain to their potentially corrupt minds that a man and a woman can be in relationships and dare I say it, marry and have a kids. . I am sorry but i can't. I refuse.

Anyone got the ofcom number?
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:21
idgwiat
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I laughed.

Sounds like Queer as ****.
I thought it sounded like the monologue at the beginning of the American satirical comedy show 'Soap'.
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:21
Stacey_Barlow
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I have no idea what's going on
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Old 01-06-2016, 19:53
TheGraduate2012
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I don't mind "the straights", they can get up to what they like behind closed doors, I just don't need to have them rammed down my throat when I'm eating my sausage supper!
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Old 01-06-2016, 20:00
Scrabbler
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"Straight Dave" is obviously just going through a phase.
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Old 01-06-2016, 20:05
Neomysterio
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"Straight Dave" is obviously just going through a phase.
My thoughts exactly sir!
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Old 01-06-2016, 20:16
little-monster
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I decided to go online and investigate and it turns out, that this so called "hetrosexuality" (i shudder and vomit as i type it) is actually a disease and a straight to gay conversion camp does the trick.

Those troubled souls will be in my prayers tonight

Now i need to clear my laptop history. I don't want my family thinking i am "one of those sort"
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Old 01-06-2016, 20:22
sorcha_healy27
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I'd like to turn her gay
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Old 01-06-2016, 20:27
cyrilandshirley
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"Straight Dave" is obviously just going through a phase.
Too late. There's already a massive het shipping m/f fandom building on tumblr. They're gagging for Straight Dave to give in to his het impulses.
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Old 01-06-2016, 20:32
sorcha_healy27
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Too late. There's already a massive het shipping m/f fandom building on tumblr. They're gagging for Straight Dave to give in to his het impulses.


Dave and Ronnie are forever known as Donnie 4eva
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Old 01-06-2016, 21:42
Joe_H11
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What's the number for ofcom and the BBC action line.

Actually mine turn off.
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Old 01-06-2016, 21:46
Foxster Hotpot
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Representation is one thing but the new boss at EE seems to be clearly pushing a straight agenda here. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny has bedded Sonia by Christmas.
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Old 01-06-2016, 21:49
sheepiefarm
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Too late. There's already a massive het shipping m/f fandom building on tumblr. They're gagging for Straight Dave to give in to his het impulses.
This genuinely made me laugh out loud
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Old 01-06-2016, 21:57
bumpandgrind
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I've heard that apparently EE are planning on introducing another straight character in the coming months, who will instantly find 'Straight Dave' irresistible.
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Old 01-06-2016, 22:03
Lady Voldemort
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I've heard that apparently EE are planning on introducing another straight character in the coming months, who will instantly find 'Straight Dave' irresistible.
Well obvs. Only the way the only straights in the village will get any innit.
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Old 01-06-2016, 22:20
cyrilandshirley
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Representation is one thing but the new boss at EE seems to be clearly pushing a straight agenda here. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny has bedded Sonia by Christmas.


But Sonia's gay, for god's sake. They can't just turn people straight at the drop of a hat, it's perverse.

This genuinely made me laugh out loud
Glad to be of service.
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Old 01-06-2016, 22:28
sw2963
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But will Straight Dave be available to mind Kathy's stall?
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Old 01-06-2016, 22:33
Lady Voldemort
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But will Straight Dave be available to mind Kathy's stall?
Is that what they call manholes over E20 way?
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Old 01-06-2016, 22:34
0...0
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Dave and Ronnie are forever known as Donnie 4eva
Not DonRon?
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Old 01-06-2016, 23:00
Ozboz3
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This is brilliant
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