I don't know about it being hardwired. Women can be extremely territorial, yet due to our society's attitudes about male sexuality, we are more likely to accept a man that has been with lots of women, than men are to accept a woman who has had lots of sexual partners. The male ego can be extremely fragile a lot of the time, thanks to the patriarchy of the environment that we live in. You see women taking back men who have cheated on them all the time. It is much more rare where men are concerned though. Many women put up with a man who has had lots of sexual partners because that is what they are told they have to put up with - that that is just how men are, and our culture encourages and supports that.

It's like when unhealthy stuff goes down in a relationship and the people involved just put up with it because they are under the impression that everybody endures it, and that it is normal. So it goes unchallenged, which is very insidious.

Also, some women don't mind men that have had their fill of sexual partners, because it gives them hope that they will know what they are doing when it comes to pleasing her. Many women go through their entire lives never having experienced an orgasm, due to our attitudes about male sexuality vs female sexuality.

Everything is completely out of balance when it comes to gender, and I love that those who can be diplomatic countered the OP's original post.

I don't judge on the past, I only judge on the present, I've had partners that have had 60 odd partners, or ones that have had two or three.

I just find it not to my tastes when they brag about it.

Well, I am a lesbian, so I don't have to sleep with men, or deal with that energy in any of my relationship dynamics. But if my girlfriend told me she had had many partners, I would not be put off at all. What would matter would be HOW she delivered the information, and the motive behind it - and how she used that information going forward with me in her life.

Laura does not seem like my kind of person. I am sure she is unlikable to many other people too, and the overt female sexuality that she expresses is likely to turn them off from her even more.

But my gf could have slept with the whole island of lesbos, and as long as she was who I needed her to be and we were compatible sexually, that would mean nothing to me. If anything, I'd be grateful that she'd had such experience to where she could pleasure me so well

Makes sense that. Thanks for replying.

You are welcome

Well op you have replied to a few posts.

But you still haven't answered the question on who you men would be having sex with if all us women stayed pure.

Surely you need women to be slags or you wouldn't be able to put it about would you.

You can't have it both ways.

Rosie of course they don't want woman to be pure they want the slags on a Saturday night and then the obedient subservient innocent girl to settle down with.
But realistically it's got nothing to do being innocent and pure but men are intimidated by strong woman. Especially strong sexual woman it intimidates the alpha males of the world.
Men are intimidated that a woman who has had numerous sexual partners will compare that there manhood isn't as fantastic as a previous partner, that they don't have the best moves or last as long. As it goes men are by far the weaker sex but hide behind stereo typing of slags and sluts compared to studs.

I think you must be a teenage boy, or anyway a male who knows nothing about biology/anatomy? Or maybe just a stirrer looking to liven things up a bit

Being 'rogered by all and sundry' has little effect on an organ which can expel a child's head and return to more or less normal. It certainly isn't going to reduce the elasticity of the vagina to such an extent it is a gaping, wall-less void.

But honestly, this whole thread reeks of the resentful, jealous, angry, seethings of males who can't attract women and therefore despise them, reserving especial hatred for those women who like sex but just don't want sex with THEM.

Yeah and my dinner better be ready for me when I get back too, I mean we give 'em an allowance don't we? I don't mind them buying themselves a new hair net once in a while or getting a nice perm, maybe even a pair of new brown curtains to cheer themselves up but they really do take liberties these days don't they? They'll be getting jobs next, you mark my words.

I'll answer that with pleasure, but I'm not sure you will like the answer, but it IS honest.

Of course you are right when you say that if all Women stayed pure then Man would have no-one to have sex with. That's where Sluts come in useful.

Whaen I was A LOT younger, I personally have been with a few Girls in the past that have put it about a bit. When I say 'been with' I mean shagged a few times. But the fact that they had a reputation meant that I would NEVER consider a proper relationship with them, and blokes that I knew wouldn't either.

I know some of these Girls got Married, but none of them (apart from one, which ended in Divorce within a year) got Married to anyone that actually knew what they were like in the past, and I'm sure if they did, they wouldn't have married them.

As I have got older, I've often thought of those Girls and felt guilty. As someone has posted in a reply here, WHY were they sleeping around? Low self esteem? Looking for Love? Who knows, but I feel like by acting the way they did that they cheapened themselves by doing it.

I personally wanted to do it cos it was enjoyable and it was fun to tell my mates about it, even though most of what I said was massively embellished. Emotionally, it meant as much to me as a quick one off the wrist.

However If a Girl made me wait, then I would have much more respect for her, as I feel like she had respect for herself.

Not sure if that answers your question, and apologies if it comes across as offensive. It is honest though.

Would that be as opposed to being my dad or brothers?
Makes no difference. Their life, their choices. Who am I to judge?

And what is the difference between a man wanting (or not) a woman who's slept around as opposed to a woman wanting a man who's slept around?

Outrageous comments. Men can't even walk past a playground without being assumed as a paedophile or go to a nightclub without feeling like a predator for looking at a girl. I see films like Sex and the city and 50 shades celebrating female sexuality. I can watch Loose Women and see everyone laugh at Jordan talking about how many sexual partners she's had but a man doing so is a "love rat".

If there is going to be claims made on this thread that men are praised for sleeping around there should be concrete examples.

What the chuff has divorce rates and being 'stung in terms of child access and finances' to do with women sleeping around?. Common sense? Anything BUT common sense you're talking.

Love it, and so true.

Divorce and child access issues ruins mens lives. Marriage is a risky business these days for men. Why make it riskier by marrying a "Laura" type? So my point is very relevant.

Complete and utter common sense I'll have you know. Stop being so angry.

That has got to be top retort so far on this year's forum! Many thanks for the giggle! (You're not Jimmy Carr are you?)

But us women have to lump it when guys have poked lots of fannies ? Nah! You're of course entitled to your own out dated and hypocritical views but I couldn't disagree more.

Eta: I do agree that unfortunately a lot of men do think like this, which is why lots of women lie. You reap what you sow etc.

You're trolling seems to have worked!

You do realise that a female having sex with 1000 men will mean her vagina is no different to having sex with the same man 1000 times. So unless you plan to very rarely rarely have sex with your partner, then you will still have the same sized vagina* to contend with.

*Apologies to anyone sensitive to seeing the v-word in all its glory.

Hahahah - projection. See right through you.

like it

Careful, you're in danger of a few alien concepts to forums there: sense and reason.

I think the whole theme of this thread is people throwing their own preferences (which they are allowed to have, obviously) around as facts that everyone else should abide by just because they do. Or as if something is a well known scientifically explained phenomenon that explains why men and women act certain ways.

No... Don't go there.

Everyone's entitled to their own sexual preferences but there's no need to go about it in such a way that suggests that it's some kind of silent general consensus between men/women. Because thats not the case. People have sexual preferences for a reason. Some people will find experienced lovers attractive because of exactly that, they are experienced. And others will see them as sluts/creepy/pervy, add whatever derogatory term as appropriate.

Just adding my opinion into the mix of extremes!

* Edit - And obviously when I say sexual preferences I don't mean men/women, straight/gay etc.

BIB, you have to understand how backwards this is - that us women simply cannot win, and this is why feminism is such a necessary thing in today's world. We sleep with men, we are slags. We don't sleep with men, and we are prudes. We want sex, but make men wait, and we are what? Playing games. It is incredibly difficult to be a woman today when dealing with such patriarchy, and it really hurts when I see women themselves self-policing one another with the misogyny that men police them with - so caught up in the competition of trying to one-up one another, that they don't even realizing that they are tightening the bolts to the chains that keep us all imprisoned. Literally, there is no way to win...

So, women should do what makes them happy, from a place of empowerment. Yes I am a lesbian, and I am so thankful that I drew those cards, because I expect that I would be a complete nightmare if I was dating men, since I know my worth and have a LOT of self-respect, in the face of a culture that does not respect that and seeks to destroy it. Many men are threatened by that, and want a woman who will be subservient, so many women dumb themselves down in order to play the feminine damsel in distress role, in order to make their men feel like... men, which God help me lol.

This is all designed to keep women in their place regardless of which moves they make. Yes, men are conditioned to be the way that they are in their majority. But bless the ones who have minds of their own, and remain true to respecting other human beings as well as themselves. They appear to be rare, but I know they exist. Also, if I know someone has no respect for themselves, the last thing I want to do is have sex with them!!! I, myself, would want more for MYSELF! I don't need to be with someone who is easily manipulated, desperate, or low on themselves, to get what I want. What would that say about me and how I saw myself? Exactly.

Those women you shagged and did not care about were either swindled by whatever you told them to get them into bed, or they knew - which is perhaps more likely - that you were just using them, and willing to allow themselves to be used anyway. But make no mistake, and I do not mean this to be malicious - but you also lowered yourself when you slept with them. Desperation is not self-respect or victorious, and it works on both ends of the stick, no matter how loud your friends howled when you told them about your conquests. Male or female. What makes you think you are worthy of a good woman who respects herself, when you did not respect yourself in those instances?

If I was a straight woman, I would not allow the societal brainwashing that we all undergo to make me think that it was ok for my male counterpart to have just gone around ****ing anything in a skirt because 'that's what men are supposed to do.' I look deeper, and I get stuff, as well as feel the truth behind things. To me, that would mean that that guy was possibly a follower, with little self-respect. Desperate to impress his friends, desperate to fit the mold of 'masculinity,' instead of allowing himself to just be... him. It might mean that he was a selfish user, with little to no regard for the feeling of those who he feels he is above. What would happen when he lost respect for me? Would I be fair game to use selfishly? All of these little things mean something, a lot of the time. But we are just told that it is how things are, and that certain things are innocuous. But most of the time, that is not true.

I love it when men who have used and abused women have daughters. The things become clearer to them, but still so many do not understand that their continued misconduct when it comes to how they interact with women is actually making it okay for the next man to come and treat his daughter the exact same way when she grows up.

Of course, if things were set up differently, the rules and dynamics of some of my above opinions would change.

Just want to appreciate this post!

They are not outrageous comments. Two truths can exist in different spaces at once. Nobody was talking about being a predator here. Fifty Shades of Gray, on the surface, may seem like it is celebrating female sexuality, but those who have eyes to see are not celebrating it as far as female sexuality goes - I can assure you. Aside from that, female sexuality SHOULD be celebrated and liberated!!! The reason why we are getting stuff like that in pop culture is because it is so unbalanced in proportion with male sexuality which has largely been free to roam, where female sexuality is not. It's like straight people moaning that there is no straight pride. Well, every day is straight pride, and that is why there is no set date for straight pride, as there is with gay pride. The reason why you can turn on Loose women and see that is because female sexuality has been oppressed for a long time now, and has had enough, so a spectacle is being made of attempting to reach the levels of liberation that men are afforded when it comes to their sexuality. Is it being done in the right way? Perhaps so. Perhaps not. Men are seen as love rats because of the way that they often interact with women sexually - using and abusing in large droves.

A concrete example that men are praised for sleeping around could be taken from one of the OP's earlier responses. He spoke about how he told his friends that he had shagged those girls that he cared nothing about, embellishing the story for praise and male camaraderie. I have seen it with my own eyes. Most people you talk to have seen the praise that men get when they sleep with lots of women, from other men. To deny that this is a part of our culture is ridiculous in the least, and reaching at best.

Yes, men are being called predators for their overly aggressive attempts to pursue women these days. The pedophile thing is sometimes true too, but we live in a society where men are now killing women simply for telling them no, they are not interested. We live in a society where pedophiles are those that you would suspect the least. People are afraid and cautious.