I've been bitten to bits by midges 
Heathers chair and other soft furnishings.
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Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“I've been bitten to bits by midges”
“I've been bitten to bits by midges
”
I think the chez has a flea infestation
I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around). 
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"
Originally Posted by EVIL-MONKEY:
“I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around).
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"”
“I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around).
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"
”
BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.
Originally Posted by bangle1:
“BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.”
“BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.
”
but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
Originally Posted by bangle1:
“BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.”
“BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.
”
He could think/say such a thing... oh wait I have previously and lets face it they have. 
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
”
“but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
”
Poor Jack's gonna have a coronary when he reads that
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“I've been bitten to bits by midges”
“I've been bitten to bits by midges
”
Jimbob?
having seen what he's capable of doing while on his knees in short VTs where he was laughing and off his face, i am suprised it took so little to put you off him so recently ?
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“I like Letishya on BB
She's one of the bigger characters in there , in more ways than one.”
“I like Letishya on BB
She's one of the bigger characters in there , in more ways than one.”
You love her Carol Voderman bum! Don't blame you..
My massage chair will fit it in.. it's a big chair!
Originally Posted by EVIL-MONKEY:
“I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around).
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"”
“I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around).
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"
”
THAT IS A VERY VALID POINT EVIL
WELL DONE !
YOU'VE CRACKED IT
Jimbob may not be able to have children
so he can prove she's a liar , if push comes to shove
but he doesn't want to say anything yet , so's not to embarrass himself or put off any prospective bunk up .
Originally Posted by jp761:
“You love her Carol Voderman bum! Don't blame you..
My massage chair will fit it in.. it's a big chair!
”
“You love her Carol Voderman bum! Don't blame you..
My massage chair will fit it in.. it's a big chair!
”
i don't fancy Vorderman
She'd get me to recite times tables while we were at it, and i'd find that really boring
That chair looks so comfey
What's that handle for , oops ,
you ok jp?
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“they have a yurt section and tents that are already erected
it's like a VIP part of the Festival, mod cons, bit of comfort
They're not that expensive though
It's just the mud
”
“they have a yurt section and tents that are already erected
it's like a VIP part of the Festival, mod cons, bit of comfort
They're not that expensive though
It's just the mud
”
That's me sorted then
Originally Posted by bangle1:
“BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.”
“BIB Or he only ever did her up the poop chute.
”
Another option, or he only ever had BJ's
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
”
“but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
”
He could suffer from Premature Ejaculation
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“i don't fancy Vorderman
She'd get me to recite times tables while we were at it, and i'd find that really boring
That chair looks so comfey
What's that handle for , oops ,you ok jp?”
“i don't fancy Vorderman
She'd get me to recite times tables while we were at it, and i'd find that really boring
That chair looks so comfey
What's that handle for , oops ,
you ok jp?”
Prostate massage leaver....
Ok fine you want a go... be my guest
Originally Posted by Rogana Josh:
“Another option, or he only ever had BJ's”
“Another option, or he only ever had BJ's
”
Originally Posted by Rogana Josh:
“He could suffer from Premature Ejaculation”
“He could suffer from Premature Ejaculation
”
Originally Posted by jp761:
“Prostate massage leaver....
Ok fine you want a go... be my guest”
“Prostate massage leaver....
Ok fine you want a go... be my guest
”
I should have known mentioning te poop chute would destroy the tone of the thread
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“jp put up a lovely chair, it reclines”
“jp put up a lovely chair, it reclines”
So do I . If I'm knackered enough I can recline on a sack of nutty slack without any need for a wee lever to assist me .
Originally Posted by jp761:
“Prostate massage leaver....
Ok fine you want a go... be my guest”
“Prostate massage leaver....
Ok fine you want a go... be my guest
”
haha
I'll only go on it if it is a vibrating chair , like those hydro bed things
Originally Posted by Heatherbell:
“So do I . If I'm knackered enough I can recline on a sack of nutty slack without any need for a wee lever to assist me .”
“So do I . If I'm knackered enough I can recline on a sack of nutty slack without any need for a wee lever to assist me .
”
You can do that now, Heather without permission from Brussels
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“haha
I'll only go on it if it is a vibrating chair , like those hydro bed things”
“haha
I'll only go on it if it is a vibrating chair , like those hydro bed things”
Ooh! You are awful! jack
Originally Posted by EVIL-MONKEY:
“I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around).
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"”
“I'm waiting for the announcement from J that explains that he know's he isn't because he's infertile (so he's happy to sleep around).
*On Heathers instructions goes and gets sledge hammer and pummels Jack*
"The wine's just for Heather ok!"
”
My hero . 💘
Cops just called . Yep, half past midnight .Dedication .
Can't trace that licence plate or any permutation of it, other than to a white van on t'other side of the country . Reckon it's a cloned one being used . Bast@rds
. Nothing to do now but get the damn car fixed from our own pockets . Couldn't have come at a worse time financially , but hey ho , nobody died .
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
”
“but without being too graphic (OK with being graphic!) if he did, it could have err... dribbled down to her foof.
”
Exactly . That's as safe as pulling out at the crucial moment ....as in not very safe at all .
All it takes is one little adventurous sperm training for Rio to go off piste and whoosh ! he'll be in there causing chaos as his mates lag behind smoking an after-jiggy ciggy in the back alley .
One.
Little
Swimmer .
👶
Originally Posted by Heatherbell:
“My hero . 💘
Cops just called . Yep, half past midnight .Dedication .
Can't trace that licence plate or any permutation of it, other than to a white van on t'other side of the country . Reckon it's a cloned one being used . Bast@rds. Nothing to do now but get the damn car fixed from our own pockets . Couldn't have come at a worse time financially , but hey ho , nobody died .”
“My hero . 💘
Cops just called . Yep, half past midnight .Dedication .
Can't trace that licence plate or any permutation of it, other than to a white van on t'other side of the country . Reckon it's a cloned one being used . Bast@rds
. Nothing to do now but get the damn car fixed from our own pockets . Couldn't have come at a worse time financially , but hey ho , nobody died .”
It's really efficient the police have got back to you and being so late too.
Some twits who can't drive in car with fake plates , utter sh*tes.
Sorry to hear that.
Originally Posted by bangle1:
“I should have known mentioning te poop chute would destroy the tone of the thread”
“I should have known mentioning te poop chute would destroy the tone of the thread
”
Honestly bangle , I wonder why we bother trying to be polite and decent .
This lot
, tut tut tut .
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