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Old 09-07-2016, 20:44
jack_blair
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Last week was worse, jack, thought motorway would be horrendous and it wasn't it was after the slip road, there were road works and I could see the retail outlet I was going to just across the road, but on the slip road into it the road had road works Grrrrrrrrr!!!
Took about a two mile detour, by their instructions (roads dept) and successfully got lost (not even my bl**dy fault) lack of temporary signs! (Idiots).Ended up back home after being nowhere except the motorway.
shouldn't laugh
but ............ what a waste of time,
i'd have been sp*wing
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Old 09-07-2016, 20:57
Rogana Josh
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Would that not make everything blue tinted though ? Rather than just the nudies ?
I'm not into photography so pardon my ignorance on this point .
It would have Heather but they could have photoshopped it so as the figures in the foreground (people) only are tinted blue.
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Old 09-07-2016, 20:58
Heatherbell
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One review..................

Pros: A small expense, certainly didn't burn a hole in my pocket.
Cons: Did burn a hole in my scrotum
All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.



Another

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

or

With as much haste as I could muster I hobbled into the shower and applied cooling water to the conflagration in my crotch, which only served to spread the napalm to my perineum. I am not a church-going man but as I felt the flaming horror trickle across that tender inch of no-man's land, I confess that I prayed aloud to Jesus and his host of angels that the advancing agony would not stray into my buttonhole. However, my prayers went unheeded, and as I felt the liquid inferno sizzle its way into my most private of eyes, I lost consciousness, but not before grabbing the shower curtain and collapsing, in a disturbing echo of that famous scene from Hitchcock's "Psycho". Although believe me, being hacked to death by Norman Bates in a dress would have been a walk in the park compared to the searing agony I endured that fateful day.

or


If any one else, like me, decides to try and draw the Batman logo down there I feel I should offer some advice!
1. Make a stencil first
2. Don't leave it on for to long
3. Don't run your hand though your hair (on head) whilst admiring yourself in the mirror and attempting work out roughly what 6 mins is in your head.

Needless to say I left it on too long and ended up with burnt testicles and single - let that be a warning!

I've awarded 5 stars at it did what you'd expect it to do - make you look like you never hit puberty.

Probably a product that shouldn't have been invented for dudes but, hey, it was a life experience
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Old 09-07-2016, 20:58
Rogana Josh
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shouldn't laugh
but ............ what a waste of time,
i'd have been sp*wing
I was effing and blinding all the way!
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:03
Rogana Josh
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However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

or

With as much haste as I could muster I hobbled into the shower and applied cooling water to the conflagration in my crotch, which only served to spread the napalm to my perineum. I am not a church-going man but as I felt the flaming horror trickle across that tender inch of no-man's land, I confess that I prayed aloud to Jesus and his host of angels that the advancing agony would not stray into my buttonhole. However, my prayers went unheeded, and as I felt the liquid inferno sizzle its way into my most private of eyes, I lost consciousness, but not before grabbing the shower curtain and collapsing, in a disturbing echo of that famous scene from Hitchcock's "Psycho". Although believe me, being hacked to death by Norman Bates in a dress would have been a walk in the park compared to the searing agony I endured that fateful day.

or


If any one else, like me, decides to try and draw the Batman logo down there I feel I should offer some advice!
1. Make a stencil first
2. Don't leave it on for to long
3. Don't run your hand though your hair (on head) whilst admiring yourself in the mirror and attempting work out roughly what 6 mins is in your head.

Needless to say I left it on too long and ended up with burnt testicles and single - let that be a warning!

I've awarded 5 stars at it did what you'd expect it to do - make you look like you never hit puberty.

Probably a product that shouldn't have been invented for dudes but, hey, it was a life experience
Is that a bit like that 'Veet' stuff the ladies use?
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:08
bangle1
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One review..................

Pros: A small expense, certainly didn't burn a hole in my pocket.
Cons: Did burn a hole in my scrotum
All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.



Another

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
Lol, i love some of the reviews on amazon. Here's one I came accross that made me chuckle. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/prof...f=cm_cr_dp_pdp
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:12
jack_blair
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Lol, i love some of the reviews on amazon. Here's one I came accross that made me chuckle. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/prof...f=cm_cr_dp_pdp

It was recommended to me on good authority, that authority being my M8 Micky Fento. He said 'Aup, you can jog up'n'down cobbles, past chippy, back home via the weir pool and still be reet dry underneath, plus that David Haye sprays it before the bell rings'.

He's an idiot and now I feel like one for buying this can of wet air. If I wanted to smell of Pukka Pie and Cod Liver Oil I could've gone back home with Fishy Trish from Oxenholme. Micky says her head bobs up and down like the Churchhill dog on the back of his Clio's parcel shelf when driving over the cattle grid just outside Skelsmergh ... but after this, I'm not sure I believe anything he says now.
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:14
Rogana Josh
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Lol, i love some of the reviews on amazon. Here's one I came accross that made me chuckle. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/prof...f=cm_cr_dp_pdp
I'll have to have a read at some of those
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:16
Deb Arkle
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I'll have to have a read at some of those
Thy these too:
https://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Thre...roduct_top#Ask
IIRC there's one review which says the T Shirt cured his AIDS - and the seller was forced to add "This T Shirt will not cure AIDS" to the blurb.
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:16
SP15
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Ok boys . Read the Amazon reviews for this male grooming product and buy buy buy .
(if you dare )

Ladies , read the reviews and laugh your asses off .
PS, John Osbourne's is the best .


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hai...ews/B000KKNQBK
I am crying with laughter. thank you
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:22
Rogana Josh
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Read this review:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R21C...tore=drugstore
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:33
Heatherbell
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Lol, i love some of the reviews on amazon. Here's one I came accross that made me chuckle. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/prof...f=cm_cr_dp_pdp


Pens for ladies I kid you not .
http://www.amazon.co.uk/BiC-Her-Medi...ews/B004FTGJUW

I am writing this review on behalf of my wife who, unfortunately, does not possess a women's keyboard - despite us having searched high and low for one so that she might finally access the pleasures of typing. Each time she attempts to use my man-keyboard she simply faints on the spot and can only be resurrected through the vigorous wafting of smelling salts whilst I sing a gentle song to her about kittens, cushions and lace-making.
After driving home from work in my man-car recently my wife excitedly met me on the driveway (taking care not to leave the border of the garden without my permission). Dressed in her flowered cooking-apron and sporting a pair of pink rubber gloves (do doubt fresh from a day of cooking and cleaning) she began talking a nonsense about some she-pen she had heard about at her weekly sewing group and asked if she would be allowed to have one for herself if she promised to use it carefully and only when the children were out of the house so as not to distress them. After initially dismissing the idea as dangerous gobbledygook I was astonished to find after some intense research in my man-library that a pen for females had indeed been developed following years of extensive research and vigorous testing after the idea was originally (and quite rightly) dismissed as an impossible and ludicrous dream of the early feminist movement.
I thought about allowing my wife her very own pen long and hard and, after much consideration and discussing the idea with our local minister, I decided that we should move with the modern times and take a risk. Imagine my dismay and confusion after only being able to find this wildly ill-thought out multi-pack of not one but TWELVE she-pens!!! Twelve!!! Have BiC lost the plot here!? Despite my best hopes and faith in my wife's needle-work I feared she would get into all manner of trouble attempting to get to grips with only her first singular she-pen, imagine what horrors could unfold with 12 of the damn things! Needless to say a sharp u-turn was required and we have shelved the idea, much to my wife's dismay, and will instead wait for a more sensible option.

Of course this has left my wife extremely distressed, not to mention very upset at now having been shunned by our local womens support group who accuse her of being ''behind-the-times'' and ''out of touch with modern feminism''. Tragically she hasn't been invited to a single coffee morning or bake-sale since and spends most of her days staring out of the kitchen window with a hollow look in her eyes.

Very disappointing indeed and I would urge anyone thinking about buying these for their wife (or any other female) to consider the consequences carefully and proceed with caution.
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:42
Heatherbell
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Thy these too:
https://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Thre...roduct_top#Ask
IIRC there's one review which says the T Shirt cured his AIDS - and the seller was forced to add "This T Shirt will not cure AIDS" to the blurb.

Some people just have an incredible knack of conjuring up crazy scenarios .
I suppose it helps to be a bit nuts too . Like what we are .
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Old 09-07-2016, 21:45
bangle1
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Pens for ladies I kid you not .
http://www.amazon.co.uk/BiC-Her-Medi...ews/B004FTGJUW

I am writing this review on behalf of my wife who, unfortunately, does not possess a women's keyboard - despite us having searched high and low for one so that she might finally access the pleasures of typing. Each time she attempts to use my man-keyboard she simply faints on the spot and can only be resurrected through the vigorous wafting of smelling salts whilst I sing a gentle song to her about kittens, cushions and lace-making.
After driving home from work in my man-car recently my wife excitedly met me on the driveway (taking care not to leave the border of the garden without my permission). Dressed in her flowered cooking-apron and sporting a pair of pink rubber gloves (do doubt fresh from a day of cooking and cleaning) she began talking a nonsense about some she-pen she had heard about at her weekly sewing group and asked if she would be allowed to have one for herself if she promised to use it carefully and only when the children were out of the house so as not to distress them. After initially dismissing the idea as dangerous gobbledygook I was astonished to find after some intense research in my man-library that a pen for females had indeed been developed following years of extensive research and vigorous testing after the idea was originally (and quite rightly) dismissed as an impossible and ludicrous dream of the early feminist movement.
I thought about allowing my wife her very own pen long and hard and, after much consideration and discussing the idea with our local minister, I decided that we should move with the modern times and take a risk. Imagine my dismay and confusion after only being able to find this wildly ill-thought out multi-pack of not one but TWELVE she-pens!!! Twelve!!! Have BiC lost the plot here!? Despite my best hopes and faith in my wife's needle-work I feared she would get into all manner of trouble attempting to get to grips with only her first singular she-pen, imagine what horrors could unfold with 12 of the damn things! Needless to say a sharp u-turn was required and we have shelved the idea, much to my wife's dismay, and will instead wait for a more sensible option.

Of course this has left my wife extremely distressed, not to mention very upset at now having been shunned by our local womens support group who accuse her of being ''behind-the-times'' and ''out of touch with modern feminism''. Tragically she hasn't been invited to a single coffee morning or bake-sale since and spends most of her days staring out of the kitchen window with a hollow look in her eyes.

Very disappointing indeed and I would urge anyone thinking about buying these for their wife (or any other female) to consider the consequences carefully and proceed with caution.
A few of the others gave me a chuckle too
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Old 09-07-2016, 22:11
Heatherbell
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A few of the others gave me a chuckle too
They are actually all very funny in varying degrees . Definitely worth spending a while reading them all .

I love the Wolf Tee shirt warning "This tee shirt does NOT cure Aids "
I really shouldn't laugh but
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Old 10-07-2016, 00:26
nemesisis
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Happy "belated" birthday wishes Dome...hope you had a lovely day
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Old 10-07-2016, 03:43
EVIL-MONKEY
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*Fire's the cannons*
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Old 10-07-2016, 08:12
SP15
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*Fire's the cannons*
Who woke Evil up?

Morning all.

cool refreshing drizzle here this morning, so nice.
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Old 10-07-2016, 11:19
auroora
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Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Mine was super apart from some naughty bird flying over our heads and deciding to spray us with poo all over our hair and clothes! 💩 I tell ya I won't be enjoying pickles anytime soon😭
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Old 10-07-2016, 11:21
auroora
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Mind you, you know they say being pooed on by a bird is a sign of good luck, won a lotto lucky dip last night! 👍
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Old 10-07-2016, 11:27
dome
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Thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes, had a very busy fun filled day yesterday.

I bring you a case of champers to share.
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Old 10-07-2016, 11:58
EVIL-MONKEY
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Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Mine was super apart from some naughty bird flying over our heads and deciding to spray us with poo all over our hair and clothes! 💩 I tell ya I won't be enjoying pickles anytime soon😭
Mind you, you know they say being pooed on by a bird is a sign of good luck, won a lotto lucky dip last night! 👍
...... .......
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Old 10-07-2016, 12:38
Rogana Josh
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Mind you, you know they say being pooed on by a bird is a sign of good luck, won a lotto lucky dip last night! 👍
You can use it to get your clothes dry cleaned, auroora
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Old 10-07-2016, 12:39
Rogana Josh
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Thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes, had a very busy fun filled day yesterday.

I bring you a case of champers to share.
Might have a glass later, dome, pleased to hear you had a great day
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Old 10-07-2016, 13:08
Rogana Josh
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Reply to SAD's Tweet: Classy people (rolleyes)




@SAD77
SAD Retweeted Axxxxx

Who says romance is dead haha!




Axxxxx
‏@AxxGxxxxxx123
@SAD77 I would drag my balls through 1000 miles of broken glass across the Sahara desert just to hear u fart through a walki talkie

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