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Heathers chair and other soft furnishings.


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Old 26-07-2016, 19:45
Rogana Josh
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Tell him ?
Are you mad ?

No no no , As soon as he appears you grab his arms, dome and us ladies (using the term loosely obv) will grab his legs and de-bag him . Evil can use the bolt cutters and I'll pour whiskey on the resulting wounds (I saw that done in old cowboy movies ). Or better still there's Jeyes Fluid in the garden shed, no point in wasting good booze .
Stop being squeamish Rogana , it's for his own good . It'll curb all that yapping he does over bugger all important and might even stop him shagging the cushions on Mel's chaze .
Might as well not waste them then, we could always make them into some prairie oysters, that would be nice and nourishing for him
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Old 26-07-2016, 19:46
itsy bitsy
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Tell him ?
Are you mad ?

No no no , As soon as he appears you grab his arms, dome and us ladies (using the term loosely obv) will grab his legs and de-bag him . Evil can use the bolt cutters and I'll pour whiskey on the resulting wounds (I saw that done in old cowboy movies ). Or better still there's Jeyes Fluid in the garden shed, no point in wasting good booze .
Stop being squeamish Rogana , it's for his own good . It'll curb all that yapping he does over bugger all important and might even stop him shagging the cushions on Mel's chaze .
Jeyes fluid doesn't half pong though, Heather. Creosote is healthier, lung wise IMO and would weather proof in the long term.
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Old 26-07-2016, 19:50
Rogana Josh
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Jeyes fluid doesn't half pong though, Heather. Creosote is healthier, lung wise IMO and would weather proof in the long term.
Hot melted tar cauterises and heals.
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Old 26-07-2016, 19:52
itsy bitsy
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Hot melted tar cauterises and heals.
Sounds ideal.
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Old 26-07-2016, 19:55
Heatherbell
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If that's her house then not much point in having french doors then plonking a sofa across them . Numpty (her not you luvvy).
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Old 26-07-2016, 19:57
Panderoona
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Gaudy
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Old 26-07-2016, 19:58
Panderoona
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If that's her house then not much point in having french doors then plonking a sofa across them . Numpty (her not you luvvy).
It'll look lovely with loads of baby milk stains on it
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:02
Heatherbell
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Might as well not waste them then, we could always make them into some prairie oysters, that would be nice and nourishing for him
Good thinking . He'll be needing his vitamins and minerals and I'm sure his undercarriage is just chok-a-blok with nutrients . Or something .

Jeyes fluid doesn't half pong though, Heather. Creosote is healthier, lung wise IMO and would weather proof in the long term.
Good thinking batman . We don't want jeyes fluid overriding the nice yankee candle aromas in the house. Spoil the ambiance that would .

Hot melted tar cauterises and heals.
Ah , even better .
That's what I like about this wee thread , full of useful household tips .👍



OOH , child genius is on . Come on Mog , you can do it kiddo !
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:08
EVIL-MONKEY
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TBF I was just going cauterise the wound with a brand. (Should we leave a message? )
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:11
Rogana Josh
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It'll look lovely with loads of baby milk stains on it
Not just baby milk stains all those boyfriends after the baby's born.
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:18
Heatherbell
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TBF I was just going cauterise the wound with a brand. (Should we leave a message? )
A smiley face should be enough Evil .
Or a 👿in a nod to your unsainted daddy .
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:20
EVIL-MONKEY
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She REALLY does have awful taste in everything.

The "light carpets" won't be light for long.
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:22
Rogana Josh
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She REALLY does have awful taste in everything.

The "light carpets" won't be light for long.
Not with a kid a dog and numerous boyfriends wandering in and out
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:23
SP15
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Hot melted tar cauterises and heals.
Can we go the whole hog and add feathers?

Wonder who's going to clean that sofa and the light carpets and she is still holding the cushion in place everytime bump is on show.
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:24
Panderoona
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Not just baby milk stains all those boyfriends after the baby's born.
Bucket!! Bucket!! Quick!! <vomitsmiley>
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:31
Heatherbell
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Not just baby milk stains all those boyfriends after the baby's born.
It'll end up looking like Mel's chaze .
Not that I'm accusing Mel of entertaining her hunk on the chaze ----no, she's not been here in a while and people are getting very lax in how they treat that poor chaze .
Booze, crisps, After 8s , chocolate . Jack again
Och he's not here , so we'll blame him for everything .
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Old 26-07-2016, 20:35
EVIL-MONKEY
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A smiley face should be enough Evil .
Or a 👿in a nod to your unsainted daddy .
https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/1275632_f520.jpg

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Old 26-07-2016, 20:48
Heatherbell
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Hmm , is that not a bit long for our requirements though ?
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Old 26-07-2016, 21:02
EVIL-MONKEY
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Hmm , is that not a bit long for our requirements though ?
It's magnified! I was think of just going with "IDIOT"
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Old 26-07-2016, 21:48
Rogana Josh
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Watching BB and poor Andy is just out
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Old 26-07-2016, 22:02
EVIL-MONKEY
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Seriously they've given themselves 48 hours to disinfect the house!
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Old 26-07-2016, 22:06
Panderoona
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Reckon that's a good final two
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Old 26-07-2016, 22:17
auroora
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Yeah what HAS been going on?! Scrolling through the last page and I can't get that song out of my head!! CARRY ON🎷🎹 carry on🎼🎤
Originally Posted by EVIL-MONKEY;*****461
Seriously they've given themselves 48 hours to disinfect the house!
Not enough time! Lol
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Old 26-07-2016, 22:26
SP15
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Jason won will go and watch bots I think first time this series.
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Old 26-07-2016, 22:27
auroora
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Jason won will go and watch bots I think first time this series.
Whoop Whoop!! So happy for him! They put him through the mill he deserves it.

Shows bullying doesn't pay bet they are screwing!! They are going to want to be his mate now!
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