Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“right that's it.
I can't trust any of you.
it's making me paranoid. EVERYBODY OF ME CHAISE.”
“right that's it.
I can't trust any of you.
it's making me paranoid. EVERYBODY OF ME CHAISE.”
It was her, mel 👉
Heathers chair and other soft furnishings.
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Originally Posted by Rogana Josh:
“It was her, mel 👉”
“It was her, mel 👉
”
I second that - was definitely who Rogana's pointing at 👆
Originally Posted by Flowes:
“deluded
"My ambition is to appear on terrestrial TV and become a social commentator... I have an avid interest in Politics and I would love to appear on Question Time or any news programme ie Have I Got News For You... as I have a view on EVERYTHING!
"It's been said that my personality suits this type of work and I thrive under pressure and love Live TV! [sic]"
Luckily for Jayne, eviction night is live...”
“deluded
"My ambition is to appear on terrestrial TV and become a social commentator... I have an avid interest in Politics and I would love to appear on Question Time or any news programme ie Have I Got News For You... as I have a view on EVERYTHING!
"It's been said that my personality suits this type of work and I thrive under pressure and love Live TV! [sic]"
Luckily for Jayne, eviction night is live...”
She said on BB that she's a Private Investigater , that means STALKER
and she's already said on national tv that she got close to Chelsea and his wife doesn't know, so she knows now because Jayen's just said told her and they have children too
,so if Chelsea's wife's watching she will be pretty distraught i'd have thought , which is what Jayne does for a living !
She's good at f***** up other peoples relationships that's what the bitter woman's good at. She also had an affair with John Terry and Sven Goran Erikson so i read.
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“She said on BB that she's a Private Investigater , that means STALKER
and she's already said on national tv that she got close to Chelsea and his wife doesn't know, so she knows now because Jayen's just said told her and they have children too
,so if Chelsea's wife's watching she will be pretty distraught i'd have thought , which is what Jayne does for a living ! She's good at f***** up other peoples relationships that's what the bitter woman's good at. She also had an affair with John Terry and Sven Goran Erikson so i read.”
“She said on BB that she's a Private Investigater , that means STALKER
and she's already said on national tv that she got close to Chelsea and his wife doesn't know, so she knows now because Jayen's just said told her and they have children too
,so if Chelsea's wife's watching she will be pretty distraught i'd have thought , which is what Jayne does for a living !
She's good at f***** up other peoples relationships that's what the bitter woman's good at. She also had an affair with John Terry and Sven Goran Erikson so i read.”
BIB Ha! Ha! Ha!
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“She said on BB that she's a Private Investigater , that means STALKER
and she's already said on national tv that she got close to Chelsea and his wife doesn't know, so she knows now because Jayen's just said told her and they have children too
,so if Chelsea's wife's watching she will be pretty distraught i'd have thought , which is what Jayne does for a living ! She's good at f***** up other peoples relationships that's what the bitter woman's good at. She also had an affair with John Terry and Sven Goran Erikson so i read.”
“She said on BB that she's a Private Investigater , that means STALKER
and she's already said on national tv that she got close to Chelsea and his wife doesn't know, so she knows now because Jayen's just said told her and they have children too
,so if Chelsea's wife's watching she will be pretty distraught i'd have thought , which is what Jayne does for a living !
She's good at f***** up other peoples relationships that's what the bitter woman's good at. She also had an affair with John Terry and Sven Goran Erikson so i read.”
Hasn't everybody?
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“6 . NO BIRTHING!!!!! ”
“6 . NO BIRTHING!!!!!
”
Oh FGS ! Stop being so prissy over a flippin' chair .
Honestly , I never knew anyone so protective of a piece of furniture . Oh wait ......
Anyway I bought a Pk of three dust sheets ( £2.99) in B&M ) today . Thin polythene but will do fine well . We'll cover the chair before the messy stuff starts . It'll be fine , worry ye not Mel 👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack we'll whip the dust sheet off and pop a new one on (Pk of 3 , do keep up) .Then if sad pops in and decides our new gaff has the perfect ambiance for birthing we'll be prepared .
@Jack . You must ensure there's lots of hot water .
@Rogana . You need to keep the fluffy towels pile well stocked up .
Mel and Bangle can waft incense sticks around and chant .
I'll burn and waft a bunch of sage around to chase away any demons . Bloody demons stick their noses in everywhere .👿👿👿
Everyone else can form a protective barrier to keep the press and potential fathers at bay . Smack 'em over the head with baseball bats (in the cubby hole under the stairs ) if necessary to repel them .....this is OUR exclusive .
It'll be shweet , no bother . Well, apart from Sad screaming blue murder , but I'll give her a couple of Paracetamol and tell her to stop making a fuss . Then I'll gag her with one of fredster's floaty leopard print scarves , just in case .
We can do this mes amis .
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“right that's it.
I can't trust any of you.
it's making me paranoid. EVERYBODY OF ME CHAISE.”
“right that's it.
I can't trust any of you.
it's making me paranoid. EVERYBODY OF ME CHAISE.”
Where's your boyfriend?
Andrew said in the diary room " indifidictability ? " he's making up words
he also said "nothing's too difficult for me"
hahaha
Shame he went, he's such a big head he'd have been a great HM
he also said "nothing's too difficult for me"
hahaha
Shame he went, he's such a big head he'd have been a great HM
Originally Posted by Heatherbell:
“Oh FGS ! Stop being so prissy over a flippin' chair .
Honestly , I never knew anyone so protective of a piece of furniture . Oh wait ......
Anyway I bought a Pk of three dust sheets ( £2.99) in B&M ) today . Thin polythene but will do fine well . We'll cover the chair before the messy stuff starts . It'll be fine , worry ye not Mel 👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack we'll whip the dust sheet off and pop a new one on (Pk of 3 , do keep up) .Then if sad pops in and decides our new gaff has the perfect ambiance for birthing we'll be prepared .
@Jack . You must ensure there's lots of hot water .
@Rogana . You need to keep the fluffy towels pile well stocked up .
Mel and Bangle can waft incense sticks around and chant .
I'll burn and waft a bunch of sage around to chase away any demons . Bloody demons stick their noses in everywhere .👿👿👿
Everyone else can form a protective barrier to keep the press and potential fathers at bay . Smack 'em over the head with baseball bats (in the cubby hole under the stairs ) if necessary to repel them .....this is OUR exclusive .
It'll be shweet , no bother . Well, apart from Sad screaming blue murder , but I'll give her a couple of Paracetamol and tell her to stop making a fuss . Then I'll gag her with one of fredster's floaty leopard print scarves , just in case .
We can do this mes amis .”
“Oh FGS ! Stop being so prissy over a flippin' chair .
Honestly , I never knew anyone so protective of a piece of furniture . Oh wait ......
Anyway I bought a Pk of three dust sheets ( £2.99) in B&M ) today . Thin polythene but will do fine well . We'll cover the chair before the messy stuff starts . It'll be fine , worry ye not Mel 👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack we'll whip the dust sheet off and pop a new one on (Pk of 3 , do keep up) .Then if sad pops in and decides our new gaff has the perfect ambiance for birthing we'll be prepared .
@Jack . You must ensure there's lots of hot water .
@Rogana . You need to keep the fluffy towels pile well stocked up .
Mel and Bangle can waft incense sticks around and chant .
I'll burn and waft a bunch of sage around to chase away any demons . Bloody demons stick their noses in everywhere .👿👿👿
Everyone else can form a protective barrier to keep the press and potential fathers at bay . Smack 'em over the head with baseball bats (in the cubby hole under the stairs ) if necessary to repel them .....this is OUR exclusive .
It'll be shweet , no bother . Well, apart from Sad screaming blue murder , but I'll give her a couple of Paracetamol and tell her to stop making a fuss . Then I'll gag her with one of fredster's floaty leopard print scarves , just in case .
We can do this mes amis .”
We can get The Yorkshire Vet of the telly and his winch to pull the little b*gger out
Originally Posted by Heatherbell:
“Oh FGS ! Stop being so prissy over a flippin' chair .
Honestly , I never knew anyone so protective of a piece of furniture . Oh wait ......
Anyway I bought a Pk of three dust sheets ( £2.99) in B&M ) today . Thin polythene but will do fine well . We'll cover the chair before the messy stuff starts . It'll be fine , worry ye not Mel 👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack we'll whip the dust sheet off and pop a new one on (Pk of 3 , do keep up) .Then if sad pops in and decides our new gaff has the perfect ambiance for birthing we'll be prepared .
@Jack . You must ensure there's lots of hot water .
@Rogana . You need to keep the fluffy towels pile well stocked up .
Mel and Bangle can waft incense sticks around and chant .
I'll burn and waft a bunch of sage around to chase away any demons . Bloody demons stick their noses in everywhere .👿👿👿
Everyone else can form a protective barrier to keep the press and potential fathers at bay . Smack 'em over the head with baseball bats (in the cubby hole under the stairs ) if necessary to repel them .....this is OUR exclusive .
It'll be shweet , no bother . Well, apart from Sad screaming blue murder , but I'll give her a couple of Paracetamol and tell her to stop making a fuss . Then I'll gag her with one of fredster's floaty leopard print scarves , just in case .
We can do this mes amis .”
“Oh FGS ! Stop being so prissy over a flippin' chair .
Honestly , I never knew anyone so protective of a piece of furniture . Oh wait ......
Anyway I bought a Pk of three dust sheets ( £2.99) in B&M ) today . Thin polythene but will do fine well . We'll cover the chair before the messy stuff starts . It'll be fine , worry ye not Mel 👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack we'll whip the dust sheet off and pop a new one on (Pk of 3 , do keep up) .Then if sad pops in and decides our new gaff has the perfect ambiance for birthing we'll be prepared .
@Jack . You must ensure there's lots of hot water .
@Rogana . You need to keep the fluffy towels pile well stocked up .
Mel and Bangle can waft incense sticks around and chant .
I'll burn and waft a bunch of sage around to chase away any demons . Bloody demons stick their noses in everywhere .👿👿👿
Everyone else can form a protective barrier to keep the press and potential fathers at bay . Smack 'em over the head with baseball bats (in the cubby hole under the stairs ) if necessary to repel them .....this is OUR exclusive .
It'll be shweet , no bother . Well, apart from Sad screaming blue murder , but I'll give her a couple of Paracetamol and tell her to stop making a fuss . Then I'll gag her with one of fredster's floaty leopard print scarves , just in case .
We can do this mes amis .”
Can i change jobs ?
Me and hot water , after copious amounts of alcohol (medicinal reasons
)is NOT a good idea 
I will ensure the music is decibels louder than SAD's cackling and screeching voice?
Actually that's a good job for EVIL
I will keep the potential fathers at bay 💪👀
(how tall are they again ?
:)
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“in the shower
”
“in the shower
”
No bloody wonder , after entertaining you and all your mates . Dirty boy. Must be knackered . Feed him bananas and he'll be good to go again in around 10 minutes .
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“ It was............
Lily's idea to eat grapes on your chair
I think you should direct any complaints, via the normal procedure to her
* legs it stage right*”
“
It was............Lily's idea to eat grapes on your chair
I think you should direct any complaints, via the normal procedure to her
* legs it stage right*”
I told you, tiny but fearsome.
Originally Posted by jack_blair:
“Can i change jobs ?
Me and hot water , after copious amounts of alcohol (medicinal reasons )is NOT a good idea
I will ensure the music is decibels louder than SAD's cackling and screeching voice?
Actually that's a good job for EVIL
I will keep the potential fathers at bay 💪👀
(how tall are they again ?:)”
“Can i change jobs ?
Me and hot water , after copious amounts of alcohol (medicinal reasons
)is NOT a good idea I will ensure the music is decibels louder than SAD's cackling and screeching voice?
Actually that's a good job for EVIL
I will keep the potential fathers at bay 💪👀
(how tall are they again ?
:)”
Ok. Lily can do the hot water , she's usually reasonably sober . Well, up until around 8pm . After 8pm Billy can take over .
Nooooo. We need to lock evil in the garden shed during the messy part . I just saw him skite through to the kitchen with a roll of masking tape and some rope . If he sees the first sign of blood we're sunk . We don't want this to end up like a horror movie .
Originally Posted by Lily Darling:
“I told you, tiny but fearsome.”
“I told you, tiny but fearsome.
”
oh sh*te - it was Rogana !
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“awww
this is not tonight by the way.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGnGCCJITtO/”
“awww
this is not tonight by the way.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGnGCCJITtO/”
that's how i imagined EVIL to look like
The one on the left, not the right , btw
He looks like he could be bit 'stocky' (muscly i mean)
Tell him i've always been really really lovely to you PLEASE
🏃 actually that might not be fast enough 🏇
Originally Posted by melloncollie06:
“awww
this is not tonight by the way.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGnGCCJITtO/”
“awww
this is not tonight by the way.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGnGCCJITtO/”
OH MY GOD YOU KIDNAPPED A HANDSOME TARZAN !
Very tasty (excuse me while I wipe away a touch of drool. From my MOUTH Mel , get your dirty mind under control .
)Are you sure 24 hours is enough of that ?
Well I suppose if you want to be fit enough to type (or walk
) tomorrow then you need to rein things in .
Originally Posted by Heatherbell:
“👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack .”
“👍. As soon as Lily has finished 'entertaining' HerJack .”
Pardon?? Jack's not anywhere near ready to be entertained by me.
Besides, he wants me to 'stand guard.' Scared of the bogeyman.
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