Can I add a bit of Mrs Merton and Malcolm?

Of so, this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ernqEeRFyQA&t=3m45s

Denise: Dad! Your fly hole's all undone.
Jim: Ah, the cage might be open, but the beast is asleep.
Barbara: Beast, my arse.

When they were discussing how they would love to go on the Orient Express, nana says 'you don't want to go on that, there's murders on the Orient Express.'

That 'hrt' is horses piss

Denise: "I’m only not smoking in front of Baby David until he’s old enough to get up and walk out of the room, then it’s his choice"


Jim: Don't mind if I do!
(deleted scene)

Bbc1 tonight at 2245, Xmas episode. I think it may be the one with Denise going into labour.

Terrific episode, that last part where Jim comforts Denise on the bathroom floor as they wait for the ambulance is fantastic.

Could you eat some very thin sliced ham ?

Wafer thin?

I loved it when they all, in turn said how they weren't keen on turkey, but as soon as Barb mentions not having turkey next year they all kick off!

Plus "what time's that Dibley on?" from Nana, aka Liz Smith, aka Letitia Cropley from The Vicar of Dibley. Very good.

Wide screen tele, Same old shite but wider

The bathroom scene. I said I wasnt ready to watch this yet

Sobbed all through it 😢

Barbara: The taxis on its way Denise.
Jim: Bloody hell Barb, it's double fare on Christmas Day

Barb: Here, you could give birth on Christmas Day!
Jim: Jesus....

Nana: Do you think they'll have a collection around the flats for Elsie, Barabara?

Barbara: I should think so Mam.

Nana: I hope it's tonight while I'm here.

Just thought of another lovely Royle family moment...

"I'll take you home again Kathleen..."

Oh that was really lovely.

Where were you when Kennedy was shot dad?

Jim: ''I don't know but I'm sure the immersion was on!''

Jim: I've an appointment with the arabs
Mustafa...Mustafa Crap

Denise: Dad you're tighter than a crabs arsehole

(unsure if it's word for word)

It still smells of s**t in here!

One of my favourite bits is Jim pretending to be Elsie over the baby monitor at the end of the episode.

That's just made me cry

Me too! And when I watched the Xmas episode repeated on Friday, with Denise and Jim in the bathroom when she goes into labour, and Denise says " what if I'm not a good mum?" Jim replies with real feeling " you'll make a lovely mum" that's me gone! I think it's because they both new Caroline would never have kids, it's just heartbreaking.

The men Cheryl brings to the Royles' home as a result of her 'dating' advert 😄😄😄
And the wording of her ad..:: can't remember it word for word but it really made me laugh 😄
Something like 'Own transport not necessary as Dad will drop off' 😄

Cheryl's dating ad

Cheryl: Have you got the Evening News tonight?
Denise: Ohhhh is it in babes?! Dad, have you got the Evening News? Cheryl's ad's in matchmaker matchmaker.
Jim: What, the lonely hearts? Ho ho ho, there you are Cheggo!
Barbara: Oooh!
Denise: What happened to that bloke you were writing to for ages Cheryl? What happened there?
Cheryl: Oh well I sent him a picture like he asked, and then I never heard anything.
Denise: Aww. Well, there wasn't much future in it really. Was he in for life?
Cheryl: Yeah. Here it is.
Jim: What does it say Barb?
Barbara: Hang on. Charismatic 30s female.
Jim: No read Cheryl's out!
Barbara: Ohhhh! Bubbly, cuddly, likes going out for meals or staying in for meals. Both vegetarian and meat eaters considered.
Denise: Ooh good thinking babes!
Barbara: Looking for friendship/love with male aged any. Able bodied or otherwise. Skin colour not essential, no height restrictions.
Jim: Bloody hell you're not on a roller coaster are you Cheryl?
Barbara: Own vehicle not necessary as Father will pick up and drop off.
Jim: Oh you know what the problem is here don't you? You're playing too bloody hard to get girl.
Barbara: Oh Cheryl that's lovely!
Denise: Yeahhh.