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How to find a Girlfriend |
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,539
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How to find a Girlfriend
Hi, im 23 years old and nearly 24. I've never had a Girlfriend before or even kissed any girl. It is really getting me down as my Step Bro/Step Sis and Friends have all found people. They have all learnt to drive and i don't seem to find any confidence. I Have autisim and it just seems like no Girl will be ever interested in me. What do i do
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#2 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 211
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I wouldn't bother, mate. You just end up taking them out, buying them drinks, spending money on them, looking after them amongst lechy blokes, and then they'll refuse to see you. Just not worth it.
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 6,547
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I had no luck with girls when I was in my teens - then I met my wife on a first aid course for Industrial first aiders.
If you work - avoid relationships at work as that can be deadly, but a course could be good, as you know they will have some interests in common. Do you have any drop in or social activities with any Autism support organisation ? |
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#4 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,717
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Quote:
Hi, im 23 years old and nearly 24. I've never had a Girlfriend before or even kissed any girl. It is really getting me down as my Step Bro/Step Sis and Friends have all found people. They have all learnt to drive and i don't seem to find any confidence. I Have autisim and it just seems like no Girl will be ever interested in me. What do i do
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
Posts: 11,736
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Good advice from launderman, get your driving test done, a nice little Vauxhall. Get some nice gear and go out with your mates, forget women, they will just bleed you dry..
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 53,623
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Sam, ignore the replies that "women will bleed you dry". Don't be put off by other people's bad experiences.
Finding some local social groups for autistic people would be a good start as it'll get you used to being in a social situation and help you become more comfortable around people and, importantly, women. A cursory google actually does reveal a good few dating sites that are especially designed to help autistic people get together, so maybe you could try one of those as well?. You're only young so you've got plenty of time. Good luck
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 18,871
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Find yourself a nice man, most women are nothing but trouble
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,717
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Quote:
Sam, ignore the replies that "women will bleed you dry". Don't be put off by other people's bad experiences.
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
Posts: 11,736
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Quote:
Sam, ignore the replies that "women will bleed you dry". Don't be put off by other people's bad experiences.
Finding some local social groups for autistic people would be a good start as it'll get you used to being in a social situation and help you become more comfortable around people and, importantly, women. A cursory google actually does reveal a good few dating sites that are especially designed to help autistic people get together, so maybe you could try one of those as well?. You're only young so you've got plenty of time. Good luck ![]() |
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,427
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Why do you want a girlfriend?
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#11 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 10,731
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Chloroform and good quality rope will get you a nice girlfriend for life.
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
Posts: 11,736
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Quote:
Chloroform and good quality rope will get you a nice girlfriend for life.
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,539
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Quote:
Why do you want a girlfriend?
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 18,871
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Quote:
Because i want to find someone who i can share things with, who i can look after. My Stepsister and her Boyfriend are going on holiday to greece, my Stepbrother and his girlfriend go out places. I Don't have that. Girls don't even seem to look at me when i'm out
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#15 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 53,623
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Jason, this young man needs a Corsa VXR and to have fun with his mates...
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#16 |
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 18,871
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I certainly don't have a problem with going out and gaining life experiences and having fun with your mates, but I just don't think it's fair to try to project negative experiences on to someone before they've even essentially got started.
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#17 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 211
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Yeah, that's for neighbours, OP
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 53,623
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Quote:
It's called a warning
"Women will bleed you dry" .. are not "warnings". |
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#19 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,717
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Quote:
It's called a warning
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#20 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,402
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Quote:
Chloroform and good quality rope will get you a nice girlfriend for life.
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#21 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 4,361
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Google 'autism support for adults'. There seem to be some good organisations that may be able to guide you a little more constructively, by giving advice from those with autism who have found love.
There will always be people who will have scare stories. If I think back over my love life (and the disastrous men who have treated me terribly) I'd never leave the house again! You will probably have some false starts. The key is to not give up hope. All of us like to be treated differently, so I am afraid there isn't a magic key you can follow. If there was, I'd be married with kids. There are plenty of us nice ladies out there, who do want to date a gentleman. To date someone who wants to look after us, so try not to take the more negative contributions to this thread to heart. I am sure you will find your love, just be kind, funny and caring. Oh and realise that it won't happen over night! Good luck and I'll look forward to reading that you've met someone who deserves you. X
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#22 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gloucestershire, England
Posts: 4,782
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Quote:
Hi, im 23 years old and nearly 24. I've never had a Girlfriend before or even kissed any girl. It is really getting me down as my Step Bro/Step Sis and Friends have all found people. They have all learnt to drive and i don't seem to find any confidence. I Have autisim and it just seems like no Girl will be ever interested in me.
I'm 29, and it's only this year (a few months ago in fact) that I first found myself in that relationship status. Before then, I hadn't had any luck/interaction with a girl in that sense either. I think it's a misconception sometimes that "everyone else is managing fine, but I'm not". It's always the people that are in relationships that you'll notice more; it's like the workplace, if someone does something wrong, they'll get picked up on it, whereas if they do something good, nobody cares. Or another example would be via the media; always reporting on doom and gloom, but never the good things. From your perspective, you may only be seeing what you think you're alone in not having, and you may not notice there are many other people in a similar situation to you. I would urge you to try social groups over dating websites too; said websites (for the most part) are practically full of judgemental people with overly high expectations. If not that, then the people on those sites are only looking for one thing (and that's all going to be around appearance, not personality). In a social group (if local ones exist near you) you can get to know people; you may not get a relationship out of it, but you may make some new friends and in turn, this'll take your mind off your troubles. Good women are seemingly in short supply, a fact I'm well aware of. Don't put too much into solving this one problem of yours though, instead, just enjoy the rest of your life, and if a relationship with someone is lurking around the corner then it'll happen.
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#23 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Storbritannia
Posts: 28,916
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Quote:
Are there any autism support groups you can join? This might help you build your confidence and meet new people.
Good luck, Sam!
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#24 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Brackley, UK
Posts: 16,649
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Quote:
I wouldn't bother, mate. You just end up taking them out, buying them drinks, spending money on them, looking after them amongst lechy blokes, and then they'll refuse to see you. Just not worth it.
![]() To be honest I've not had any long-term relationships and I'm nearly 50. But most of my mates have and at least half have either failed or else they are clearly just 'making it work'. The other half are happy enough but still like to have the occasional moan. There are a lot of good things about having a close female friend but for me the best bit is retaining the ability to decide if/when other people come in to my house and for how long. I'm happy with my own thoughts and I don't think I could stay sane if I had to share my life with someone for more than a few nights a week
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#25 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 11,679
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It depends where you lost her. Was she electronically tagged?
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