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How to find a Girlfriend |
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#26 |
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gloucestershire, England
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It depends where you lost her. Was she electronically tagged?
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#27 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
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Google 'autism support for adults'. There seem to be some good organisations that may be able to guide you a little more constructively, by giving advice from those with autism who have found love.
There will always be people who will have scare stories. If I think back over my love life (and the disastrous men who have treated me terribly) I'd never leave the house again! You will probably have some false starts. The key is to not give up hope. All of us like to be treated differently, so I am afraid there isn't a magic key you can follow. If there was, I'd be married with kids. There are plenty of us nice ladies out there, who do want to date a gentleman. To date someone who wants to look after us, so try not to take the more negative contributions to this thread to heart. I am sure you will find your love, just be kind, funny and caring. Oh and realise that it won't happen over night! Good luck and I'll look forward to reading that you've met someone who deserves you. X |
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#28 |
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 13,888
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I'm 47 and am a heterosexual male and never had a girlfriend. It'd be nice at least once before I die. If it happens, it does, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.
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#29 |
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 3,161
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Par for the course on here, sadly.
To the OP, take some driving lessons it will help with your confidence. Maybe find a sport/hobby you are interested in (running clubs are great, even if you have never run before they start you off slowly in a beginners group). |
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#30 |
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Sees me at the tower
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You forgot the bit about invading your home, telling you how to live, getting a kid then kicking you out and having to pay for it all for the next 18 years while living in a bedsit
![]() To be honest I've not had any long-term relationships and I'm nearly 50. But most of my mates have and at least half have either failed or else they are clearly just 'making it work'. The other half are happy enough but still like to have the occasional moan. There are a lot of good things about having a close female friend but for me the best bit is retaining the ability to decide if/when other people come in to my house and for how long. I'm happy with my own thoughts and I don't think I could stay sane if I had to share my life with someone for more than a few nights a week ![]() |
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#31 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: In the pages of a book
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SamTheFootball, before you start wanting to compete with relatives who've got partners (and I totally respect your wishes in that), get yourself some confidence. Once you project confidence and learn to love yourself, you're on your way for more complicated stuff like the courtship dances. It's all changed since I was a lass, what with social media and Friending, etc, but the courtship dance is always complicated.
Build yourself up (and don't let autism hold you back - plenty of autistic people have successful relationships) and then see how you go. Someone in the thread mentioned getting driving lessons, and I think that's an excellent idea. One step at a time. x(PS, us women aren't all leeches and wage-drainers, so ignore those who've advised you otherwise.) Edit: It was MinnieMinz who mentioned the driving - top idea.
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#32 |
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 3,539
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Hello, since creating the thread i have actually found a bit more confidence. I am trying to lose some weight now and trying to build more confidence and look more attractive. What other steps could i take. Im not really into online dating. I Do like traveling and going out places but i just am not sure where to start?
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#33 |
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Wales
Posts: 2,572
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Listen to the experts OP...
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#34 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: In the pages of a book
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Hello, since creating the thread i have actually found a bit more confidence. I am trying to lose some weight now and trying to build more confidence and look more attractive. What other steps could i take. Im not really into online dating. I Do like traveling and going out places but i just am not sure where to start?
Go on days out, go out for a pint/whatever at your local, wander around local markets etc etc and be prepared to converse with others. Get a sparkle in your eye, a smile on your face and listen to what other people are saying. Be interested in others. People love other people being interested in them, their day, their hobbies, families, jobs, etc, and once you've got a friend base where people genuinely like you you'll be so much happier and more confident. Good luck. x |
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#35 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
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Hello, since creating the thread i have actually found a bit more confidence. I am trying to lose some weight now and trying to build more confidence and look more attractive. What other steps could i take. Im not really into online dating. I Do like traveling and going out places but i just am not sure where to start?
Women like confidence and humour. |
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#36 |
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Francisco CA
Posts: 811
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Because i want to find someone who i can share things with, who i can look after. My Stepsister and her Boyfriend are going on holiday to greece, my Stepbrother and his girlfriend go out places. I Don't have that. Girls don't even seem to look at me when i'm out
Being in a relationship is not the be and end all it's cracked up to be. |
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#37 |
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Join Date: May 2011
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Hate to spell out the obvious but some people are destined to stay single and not find someone, you may be one of those people.
Being in a relationship is not the be and end all it's cracked up to be. |
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#38 |
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 53,623
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Hate to spell out the obvious but some people are destined to stay single and not find someone, you may be one of those people
Sam, it's great that you've gained some confidence so I'd certainly keep going and keep doing what you're doing. Keep putting yourself in social situations that you are comfortable with and keep trying to engage with people, especially women. As difficult as it'll be, try to be yourself and just relax and try to become friends rather than declaring your undying love before you've even shaken hands ![]() The more you keep doing that, with any luck one of those friendships might take a little step forward. Good luck
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#39 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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I wouldn't bother, mate. You just end up taking them out, buying them drinks, spending money on them, looking after them amongst lechy blokes, and then they'll refuse to see you. Just not worth it.
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Good advice from launderman, get your driving test done, a nice little Vauxhall. Get some nice gear and go out with your mates, forget women, they will just bleed you dry..
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Find yourself a nice man, most women are nothing but trouble
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Hi, im 23 years old and nearly 24. I've never had a Girlfriend before or even kissed any girl. It is really getting me down as my Step Bro/Step Sis and Friends have all found people. They have all learnt to drive and i don't seem to find any confidence. I Have autisim and it just seems like no Girl will be ever interested in me. What do i do
![]() I'm sure there are dating sites out there for autistic people. Have you tried any? edit - I see you stated that you're not into online dating, but have you given it a fair chance? |
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#40 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
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You're still trolling? Trolling on the thread about the young boy who died wasn't enough for you, huh?
Do men like you actually have experience with women or do you actually believe what you read on the Internet? Whereas men are always an utter delight, clearly. Ignore the bitter misognists. They just want you to be as miserable as they are. I'm sure there are dating sites out there for autistic people. Have you tried any? edit - I see you stated that you're not into online dating, but have you given it a fair chance? X I for one am far from miserable.. I was being faceous with the bleed you dry comment, maybe people shouldn't take every post they read on the Internet seriously..
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#41 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Whedonite that was a while ago, I have posted since..
X I for one am far from miserable.. I was being faceous with the bleed you dry comment, maybe people shouldn't take every post they read on the Internet seriously.. ![]() |
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#42 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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While I agree with you about the time-frame of your earlier posts, I do think you also should take a bit more notice of what's in the OP. For instance, the OP stated he has autism, which could mean he can't detect sarcasm and so on, and we know it's more difficult to spot that on the net even if we can face to face. It's one thing to say it and mean it (your prerogative, of course), but it's quite another to be joking and then insinuate that people are too serious when you're pulled up about it.
And being himself is a good start. |
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#43 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Ahh ok well that's me on the naughty step. But i take your point, hope the op finds somebody nice...
And being himself is a good start. Reading my post back, it did look like I was doing the 'wagging finger' telling off thing.
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#44 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
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Sorry.
Reading my post back, it did look like I was doing the 'wagging finger' telling off thing. ![]() |
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#45 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Whedonite that was a while ago, I have posted since..
X I for one am far from miserable.. I was being faceous with the bleed you dry comment, maybe people shouldn't take every post they read on the Internet seriously.. ![]() ![]() In my defence, I see those type of comments on the Internet every day, so it's hard to tell which ones are serious and which ones aren't
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#46 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Oops sorry, my bad
![]() In my defence, I see those type of comments on the Internet every day, so it's hard to tell which ones are serious and which ones aren't ![]()
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#47 |
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gloucestershire, England
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I hope i'm not being rude here but are those people for a destined to stay single people that want to be single.
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#48 |
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Liverpool/sarf London.
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I doubt that. Whilst I'd like to think otherwise, San Fran Sara is probably right. Some people, no matter how much they try, just can't get anywhere as far as a relationship is concerned. I know first hand.
maybe taking a step back is an option? |
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#49 |
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Woking, Surrey.
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If you're happy to write yourself off that's fine but you shouldn't write somebody else off on their behalf.
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#50 |
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Retford
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I doubt that. Whilst I'd like to think otherwise, San Fran Sara is probably right. Some people, no matter how much they try, just can't get anywhere as far as a relationship is concerned. I know first hand.
This is why people state that you should live your own life and do the things you enjoy. If you do end up being one of those small number of people, at least you won't regret what you have done in life. Can't say I agree with the generalisations being stated about women on this thread. That is the consequence of consistent rejection, it can knock you for six in terms of self worth. You can end up becoming jaded and defensive. At least if such people are going to make such a claim, back it up with hard evidence noting that such things are based on propensity, not everyone is the same and that biology and environment are factors. |
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Reading my post back, it did look like I was doing the 'wagging finger' telling off thing.