Why do you think I convinced my mother to move to Scotland and give birth to me?

It's like when you wanna go somewhere and you check TripAdvisor - you can check out possible dates and trysts on ShagAdvisor Useful little thing.

So you could pass off your love for dress wearing as a "a wee Scottish tradootion Maw"?

Oh right so you were planning trysts with Grad ?

That's where you're wrong you see, they're at least two days old.

I think you need to have a little Google and discover the difference between Nuneaton and Coventry, you're clearly getting the two mixed up.

Dan Dan loves it when I whisper sweet Scottish nothings in his lughole

No we were having a chat on t'Chatzy and we were talking about how each of us would be rated on ShagAdvisor. Grad's sister got 9/10 but his nan, cor, she got 11/10

I want Trump to win just to see what happens.

As for Clinton, why would people vote for her, her husband cheated in the Whitehouse and she was humiliated in the most public way and yet she is still with him. Money and power and a second go at the Whitehouse and she forgives her hubby putting his dick where it doesn't belong. She isn't a woman to be admired at all

I will stick up for you here. Coventry is empty a barren land and not worthy of visiting. Definitely no windows either

Not keen on either really. I wasn't really bothered, just casually sort of leaning towards Trump due to stuff I'd heard up until two weeks ago. Now I just wish Obama would stay, at least he won't kill us all.

You used to do it with me too It was special until I found out you whispered into your other lovers ears too

Have you been to Coventry

Kilts do nothing for my calves


You're right, it says Nuneaton is the 'Seventh Circle of Hell' and Coventry is only the Fifth

No dear, that was a different hole, remember?

I was normally too drunk to remember

Evening Dame

Neither is really appealing to me, to be honest. I guess, Clinton purely as a the default, as Trump is just ridiculous.

Then why are you getting all jealous?

Unfortunately yes

I'm not, for that moment I just missed your filthy and vulgar chat up lines.

Then you'll know it's really not that bad

They can make a cum-back if you like?

Save them for someone who gets turned on by them

Pity Danny's gone to bed. They'll have to wait until tomorrow then

Don't do it Atti, don't fall for the cheese

That poor sould


I'm not don't worry, he will never see my version of 'Grind on me' again