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Old 26-11-2016, 23:51
KornerKabin
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Be careful using internet dating.
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Old 26-11-2016, 23:58
soap-lea
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It actually did! Someone was watching over me that day

Tinder is the only real successful one
I hate it. I find it really easy to match with ppl but they never talk out of ten matches about a week or so ago only two have chatted. One has unmatched me cos he was boring and i couldnt be arsed to talk to him

The last time i tried it I was gonna meet this guy, had talked to him loads gave him my mo and everything but something seemed a bit off then he said sonething odd and it confirmed my suspicions he was married!

I have a radar for lying married men and so I asked him he tried to lie then admitted it!
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Old 27-11-2016, 00:18
attitude99
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Be careful using internet dating.
It does put you off when you hear about things in the media, like the recent case of four men being murdered on Grindr.

I hate it. I find it really easy to match with ppl but they never talk out of ten matches about a week or so ago only two have chatted. One has unmatched me cos he was boring and i couldnt be arsed to talk to him

The last time i tried it I was gonna meet this guy, had talked to him loads gave him my mo and everything but something seemed a bit off then he said sonething odd and it confirmed my suspicions he was married!

I have a radar for lying married men and so I asked him he tried to lie then admitted it!
Oh god

I matched with about 17 people, about 10 talked but the conversation fizzled out and I went on dates with two of them. Got their snapchats though
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Old 27-11-2016, 00:33
xItzDannyx
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Just shows how much I was taking notice of it tonight never noticed anything but just read it in the paper

I swear the auto correct on this iPad needs to **** off
What do you expect, it's an Apple product
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Old 27-11-2016, 02:20
TheGraduate2012
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Gay "dating" apps are the worst - "Hi, how are you? LEMME SEE YOUR COCK NOW!"

F*ck right off mate, you'll find it on your forehead!
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Old 27-11-2016, 09:04
KornerKabin
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It does put you off when you hear about things in the media, like the recent case of four men being murdered on Grindr.
The Barking murders are an extreme case but they've really made me think. I've been following them in the news for a while, even though they've only really made headlines in the last few days with the culmination of the trial. One of my best friends (also gay) lives in Barking and I've been to visit him a few times and have walked past the various locations where the murders took place. That has made the whole thing 'real' for me and changed my outlook on using things like Grindr. It's shocking to believe that the police didn't investigate the deaths as serial killings sooner.

I have met lots of men on Grindr over the years (and on gaydar before that haha!) There have been times when I have met men just for sex and nothing else, turned up at their house and got on with it. Looking back, I now realise how risky some of that behaviour was. I never take drugs, but in the wrong situation with the wrong person, it could easily have been me.

The Barking murders are so desperately sad. To me they highlight how desperate we are - men, women, gay, straight, bi - for companionship and for someone just to "be there". Yes the young men went to his flat on the basis of sex (apart from one who was staying with Port as a 'lodger') but how much of their desire for sex was really just a desire to feel wanted and be loved? I'm making a big generalisation there, but a lot of my own reasons for behaving like that boil back down to those feelings.

Sorry atti, this wasn't meant to turn into an essay or a lecture.

Be young and have fun, but be safe while you do it.
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Old 27-11-2016, 10:45
attitude99
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Gay "dating" apps are the worst - "Hi, how are you? LEMME SEE YOUR COCK NOW!"

F*ck right off mate, you'll find it on your forehead!


If they're called Rich, I always ask them whether Rich is their name or if it's an adjective

The Barking murders are an extreme case but they've really made me think. I've been following them in the news for a while, even though they've only really made headlines in the last few days with the culmination of the trial. One of my best friends (also gay) lives in Barking and I've been to visit him a few times and have walked past the various locations where the murders took place. That has made the whole thing 'real' for me and changed my outlook on using things like Grindr. It's shocking to believe that the police didn't investigate the deaths as serial killings sooner.

I have met lots of men on Grindr over the years (and on gaydar before that haha!) There have been times when I have met men just for sex and nothing else, turned up at their house and got on with it. Looking back, I now realise how risky some of that behaviour was. I never take drugs, but in the wrong situation with the wrong person, it could easily have been me.

The Barking murders are so desperately sad. To me they highlight how desperate we are - men, women, gay, straight, bi - for companionship and for someone just to "be there". Yes the young men went to his flat on the basis of sex (apart from one who was staying with Port as a 'lodger') but how much of their desire for sex was really just a desire to feel wanted and be loved? I'm making a big generalisation there, but a lot of my own reasons for behaving like that boil back down to those feelings.

Sorry atti, this wasn't meant to turn into an essay or a lecture.

Be young and have fun, but be safe while you do it.
Haha it's alright, I get what you mean.

I was pretty surprised that the police missed key points that could have prevented the later murders, especially the similarities of all of them. What a horrible thing to happen though, reading a news article about it and couldn't read it it was that bad. It must have hit home a lot for you then, considering you've been near the are where it happened. I feel bad for the poor woman with her dog who came across both dead bodies in the same area within three weeks of each other! Surely that must have raised alarm bells if nothing else?

I agree about companionship. Where I live there's a lot of farmers and quite a few people are a bit 'backward' (for want of a better term) but not everyone is like that. The LGBT people who are out around here are well liked regardless. There's so many accounts on Grindr that say things like 'not out' and it's sad because these people aren't able to be themselves and have to hide behind a persona. They just want to feel loved by someone yet they can't because they can't be who they are. I'm the same as well though, I also used the app as a rebound for a while, but like you looking back on it now some of the situations were risky and could have ended a lot worse. There's never really much other reason behind it other than to feel wanted, and sometimes around here where is a lack of gay people that is hard because nobody really understands. It's like if we go on nights out and I see my friends (male and female) pulling people, I wish I was able to do that but it's not really possible, hence why the app comes into it because of the loneliness feeling.
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Old 27-11-2016, 12:32
UrGleekIsShowin
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sorry i left, i forgot i existed

DENTAL PLAN Lisa needs braces!
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Old 27-11-2016, 13:37
UrGleekIsShowin
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There are nights I feel like I could die

Now I'm overcome with fear, Mama get me out of here

So I find out how to trust myself, I find out I'm stronger than the pills

And I've even forgotten how to stand on my two feet

I've got these habits that I cannot break
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Old 27-11-2016, 13:42
Aaron_Silver
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The Barking murders are an extreme case but they've really made me think. I've been following them in the news for a while, even though they've only really made headlines in the last few days with the culmination of the trial. One of my best friends (also gay) lives in Barking and I've been to visit him a few times and have walked past the various locations where the murders took place. That has made the whole thing 'real' for me and changed my outlook on using things like Grindr. It's shocking to believe that the police didn't investigate the deaths as serial killings sooner.

I have met lots of men on Grindr over the years (and on gaydar before that haha!) There have been times when I have met men just for sex and nothing else, turned up at their house and got on with it. Looking back, I now realise how risky some of that behaviour was. I never take drugs, but in the wrong situation with the wrong person, it could easily have been me.

The Barking murders are so desperately sad. To me they highlight how desperate we are - men, women, gay, straight, bi - for companionship and for someone just to "be there". Yes the young men went to his flat on the basis of sex (apart from one who was staying with Port as a 'lodger') but how much of their desire for sex was really just a desire to feel wanted and be loved? I'm making a big generalisation there, but a lot of my own reasons for behaving like that boil back down to those feelings.

Sorry atti, this wasn't meant to turn into an essay or a lecture.

Be young and have fun, but be safe while you do it.
I only ever used a dating site once, and let's just say I was lucky to have survived. He was a nutcase, and I was left alone in a strange city at 1AM in the morning with no idea where I was. It was mega-scary something I never plan to repeat.

Thanks
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Old 27-11-2016, 14:29
soap-lea
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I only ever used a dating site once, and let's just say I was lucky to have survived. He was a nutcase, and I was left alone in a strange city at 1AM in the morning with no idea where I was. It was mega-scary something I never plan to repeat.

Thanks
I didnt think there was dating websites when you were young

But which city?
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Old 27-11-2016, 14:32
Aaron_Silver
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I didnt think there was dating websites when you were young

But which city?
You are a cheeky git
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Old 27-11-2016, 14:41
UrGleekIsShowin
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if they give you a new pill then you will buy it

if they say to kill yourself then you will try it

all the makeup in the world won't make you less insecure
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Old 27-11-2016, 15:16
UrGleekIsShowin
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im so loneeeeeeely
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Old 27-11-2016, 15:18
soap-lea
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I love that song!
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Old 27-11-2016, 15:18
soap-lea
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You are a cheeky git
Yeah but which city

Ask a simple question and get an insult 😂😂😂😂😂
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Old 27-11-2016, 15:21
UrGleekIsShowin
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I love that song!
Heh. Right. The song, that's what I was...
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Old 27-11-2016, 15:53
TheGraduate2012
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One of my best friends (also gay) lives in Barking and I've been to visit him a few times and have walked past the various locations where the murders took place. That has made the whole thing 'real' for me and changed my outlook on using things like Grindr. It's shocking to believe that the police didn't investigate the deaths as serial killings sooner.
Oh no, KK, that's awful . I hope you're ok. The Barking Murders must be really difficult for you right now.

It's just terrifying, I don't know if the police still have a certain mentality about gay murders such as this, that of, "Well, you went there willingly, didn't you?" I wouldn't like to think so, but I do wonder.

I was pretty surprised that the police missed key points that could have prevented the later murders, especially the similarities of all of them. What a horrible thing to happen though, reading a news article about it and couldn't read it it was that bad. It must have hit home a lot for you then, considering you've been near the are where it happened. I feel bad for the poor woman with her dog who came across both dead bodies in the same area within three weeks of each other! Surely that must have raised alarm bells if nothing else?
I was so pissed off the other day when the BM was reported on the news and someone I know said, "Well, you can just tell he's gay" about the really young victim. I was furious. That was literally all they could say. Where is the sense of compassion? If it had been a young, pretty girl who'd been murdered, they would've more than likely said, "Aw, poor little thing". When it comes to gay men, there's still seems to be this lingering attitude of, 'Tut, tut. Gays and their horny ways'.

I didn't keep quiet this time, though, so you would've been proud of me

I have met lots of men on Grindr over the years (and on gaydar before that haha!) There have been times when I have met men just for sex and nothing else, turned up at their house and got on with it. Looking back, I now realise how risky some of that behaviour was. I never take drugs, but in the wrong situation with the wrong person, it could easily have been me.
I agree about companionship. Where I live there's a lot of farmers and quite a few people are a bit 'backward' (for want of a better term) but not everyone is like that. The LGBT people who are out around here are well liked regardless. There's so many accounts on Grindr that say things like 'not out' and it's sad because these people aren't able to be themselves and have to hide behind a persona. They just want to feel loved by someone yet they can't because they can't be who they are. I'm the same as well though, I also used the app as a rebound for a while, but like you looking back on it now some of the situations were risky and could have ended a lot worse. There's never really much other reason behind it other than to feel wanted, and sometimes around here where is a lack of gay people that is hard because nobody really understands. It's like if we go on nights out and I see my friends (male and female) pulling people, I wish I was able to do that but it's not really possible, hence why the app comes into it because of the loneliness feeling.
I only ever used a dating site once, and let's just say I was lucky to have survived. He was a nutcase, and I was left alone in a strange city at 1AM in the morning with no idea where I was. It was mega-scary something I never plan to repeat.
I can relate to all three of your experiences in different ways. I've always seemed to come back to Grindr and such apps when I'm at my lowest, which is possibly the worst time to do so as my sense of judgement and danger goes completely out of the window. Hence, unfortunately, I've had a few dicey situations to contend with. Nothing very bad, but enough to give myself a good shake.

I actually went onto Grindr recently ago and had something "arranged" but turned around at the last minute and left. I suddenly realised I was worth more than that. Not to sound like I'm looking down my nose at others who use it regularly (as if I could) but I just had this realisation that it's not what I want anymore. Maybe the Barking Murders were lingering in the back of my head somewhere, but I don't mind it fun, exciting or sexy like I used to. I'd rather be lonely in the short-term and wait for something meaningful.
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Old 27-11-2016, 15:54
soap-lea
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Heh. Right. The song, that's what I was...
Is it in your head now tho?

He has a distinctive voice a bit squeaky
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Old 27-11-2016, 16:00
UrGleekIsShowin
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Is it in your head now tho?

He has a distinctive voice a bit squeaky
It is now, dammit!

It's certainly unique, isn't it?
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Old 27-11-2016, 16:01
soap-lea
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I can relate to all three of your experiences in different ways. I've always seemed to come back to Grindr and such apps when I'm at my lowest, which is possibly the worst time to do so as my sense of judgement and danger goes completely out of the window. Hence, unfortunately, I've had a few dicey situations to contend with. Nothing very bad, but enough to give myself a good shake.

I actually went onto Grindr recently ago and had something "arranged" but turned around at the last minute and left. I suddenly realised I was worth more than that. Not to sound like I'm looking down my nose at others who use it regularly (as if I could) but I just had this realisation that it's not what I want anymore. Maybe the Barking Murders were lingering in the back of my head somewhere, but I don't mind it fun, exciting or sexy like I used to. I'd rather be lonely in the short-term and wait for something meaningful.
I think most put themselves in dicey situations when younger cos you have less fear!

BIB good advice that. I used to be the same not grindr but going out and pulling then one day you wake up and smell the coffee so to speak
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Old 27-11-2016, 16:09
soap-lea
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It is now, dammit!

It's certainly unique, isn't it?
That it is and it is also now stuck in my head which is annoying cos I am watching a xmas film about a princess
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Old 27-11-2016, 16:13
UrGleekIsShowin
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That it is and it is also now stuck in my head which is annoying cos I am watching a xmas film about a princess
Awww how sweet. Well here's a different song to replace it then:

Tiptoe through the window, by the window that is where I'll be! Come tiptoe through the tulips with meeeeeeee
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Old 27-11-2016, 16:22
soap-lea
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Awww how sweet. Well here's a different song to replace it then:

Tiptoe through the window, by the window that is where I'll be! Come tiptoe through the tulips with meeeeeeee
Are you listening to the tiny tim version
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Old 27-11-2016, 16:24
TheGraduate2012
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I think most put themselves in dicey situations when younger cos you have less fear!

BIB good advice that. I used to be the same not grindr but going out and pulling then one day you wake up and smell the coffee so to speak
Thanks Lea I think something must just hit you at some point and you start to look at things differently. I'm only 26, but can honestly say I've had a big wake-up call in the last 2/3 years.

True, which can be good in some ways, but can also make you very reckless. When I think back to certain times of my life I'm horrified and it was only a few years ago!

Dating/hook-up apps seem to make dangerous situations all the more possible, sadly. At least when you're just going out and pulling someone you kind of know what you're getting - even if you do wake up and regret it
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