There once was an asswipe called Bear.
Who got called to the diary room chair.
He yanked open the door.
Then he fell to the floor
Cause the security guy gave him a scare.

Im sure most of you can do better than that. Have a go..

Here,here, what a tosser he is.

Bear thinks he's hard in the 'hood
Keeps his shirt off 'cause, hey, he looks good
When a big guy comes by
Poor Bear needs a cry
As well as a shit in the woods

BOOM!

Now don't be scared little Bear
Wipe your poop off the DR chair
Mamma Renee will come
Put a hit on that big one
Then snog her, (you have to) it's a dare!

There once was an arrogant tosser,
Who, in the DR got crosser and crosser;
But became more compliant
For the S'curity giant
And cowing down, said "You are the boss Sir" **

** allegedly

xx

Oh don't despair Bear
When you're in the diary room chair
Take care
As the big bloke will keep you there.

A man craving fortune and fame
Gave himself a ridiculous name.
But, I'll be very blunt
He's one massive twunt,
And should be kicked out of the game.

xx

There was a young housemate named Bear
Who said to the House "I don't care
I'll do what I like
I'll shag any old 'bike'
Who's got a two minutes to spare"

'I'm hard and I really don't care'
Said an insufferable young tosser called Bear
But he looked pretty lame
When Security came
And he was made to sit in his chair

There once was a housemate called Bear
Who really loved to swear
He is really loud and not quiet like a mouse
In fact the guy is the only entertainment in the house

I cannot tell you how much I love your tosser/crosser/bossSir rhyming.

there once was a kn*bh**d called bear
he snogged young chloe for a dare
he p*ssed off big boom
went to the diary room
and cr*pped cos security was there

Brilliant thread!

Thanks to all the poets.

My daughter and self are crying with laughter, tears streaming down our faces.

There once was a numpty called Bear,
Whose brain cells were notably rare.
He thought he was hard,
But a large BB guard,
Made him sit in the diary room chair.