Originally Posted by kravchic:
“Agree with potnoodlemonkey and others including yourself about his extreme narcissism, and yes as you say it's not that clear as to whether he's a full blown sociopath, the ones I've met in life tend to be a lot more sneaky in the way they get people on side to do their bidding, usually not so in your face the way bear is.”
Yes, Lewis falls into this category actually. If memory serves me correctly, I'm sure in the narcissistic field it's a divide and conquer technique called Triangulation? You see it with a narc parent that will favour one child and degrade the other child and create lies around the unloved child and divide the siblings all the while looking like butter wouldn't melt. Or a boyfriend/girlfriend who cuts off their partners emotional network and family and demeans them to the point of worthlessness but all they have left in the world is their abuser to rely on. It's a dreadful form of emotional abuse, though that's the worst case situations.
I'm no psychologist, I probably wouldn't class Bear or Lewis or the young lot in there with any 'traditonal mental illness', more of an emotionally maladjusted mentality that has been given a platform of encouragement within our narcissistic times. I do have plenty of years experience with narcissism and have only just figured out in the last couple of years almost every screwed up game they play because I come from a family of them and have been the focus of their twisted and ****ed up puppet shows - You're generally left with questioning what the hell is reality, due to their wizardry at manipulation and gaslighting your emotions to the point you don't understand yourself until you understand
them. But, now I've woken up, thank god, but it took me till I hit 40. Many poor sods from these environments never do because they've lost sight of who they are as a person - the narcissist has engulfed and smothered and owns every feeling they own. Sounds all very melodramatic, but if you research
narcissists and gaslighting in particular, you'll get a pretty good idea of the machinations of a narc mind. It is all very interesting.
That said, and this is only my silly little opinion, but I'd say out of the two, Lewis is the 'successful' narcissist who uses the typical social mask of a narc, that of overt charm (or smarm, if you're that switched on to his bullshitting techniques
). His mask has not yet dropped and I'm not sure it will on this show. He could probably ascend social situations effortlessly that will benefit him. I think because of that ability, his aggression and negative side does find a useful outlet, so he could be less of a problem within his environment, but as long as he's pulling strings behind it.
Bear's mask of charm kind of shows up, then leaves, then shows up again - but, many of us have had a glimpse of his internal ugliness in all it's glory. He is carrying much more negativity than Lewis and does not know how to articulate himself well, resulting in nasty aggression and clearly placing the blame on others when he is at fault. He has to demean and belittle others in order to pitch up his self-esteem and right his screwy moral compass. I can imagine him being the bullying, controlling boyfriend actually, as metioned above, who cuts off his girlfriend's emotional contact with others (he doesn't want others who have sussed him out influencing her) so he has absolute control of his posession. He's the kind of guy you find in many family trees who **** up big time and it has a knock on effect emotionally, three or four generations later. I bet he's the product of the same emotional structure within his own family set-up, tbh.
I do agree he has probably had a very hard and difficult life and does not know any different and the fact this narcissistic reality tv culture came around during his life has only magnified his awful behaviour. And that is where my sympathy for him ends. I believe fame only magnifies what you already have; if you're nice and personable, it will show. If you're arrogant and self-absorbed, it will show ten-fold.
But, there are many of us who come from a hard grind background and dysfunctional family and life has served us shit sandwiches instead of champagne and strawberries. We don't take any enjoyment whatsoever in hurting the feelings of friends or family or animals (because we know what it feels like to recieve it, empathy can be heightened), and will crap over anybody in order to take credit where it is not due/blame others when you are the one at fault, as well as throw our toys out of the pram because the attention is not on us. No, those that do that are the complete, dysfunctional freaks from such environments and unfortunately, they are being put on a pedestal within the reality tv culture.
I just hope by the time Renee is done, she smacks that gormless, slack mouthed gob of his into shape. She has had a life time of complicated, screwed up men, and is not intimidated by him one jot. Because he knows this, and fears being 'exposed' of his failures to the group (unaware most people have him pegged already) he will try some deflecting technique, where he can get her to look very, very bad, or influence the group to not trust her. He's not that smart, so I'm hoping he will make a monumental stuff up, that he is going to meet his match and more, when he gets on the wrong side of Mrs Mafia
I still don't have a favourite yet because his behaviour is over shadowing everybody else but I love it when she takes him down a few hundred pegs! I hope he screws up so badly he is kicked out the back door because he does not deserve going out the front door at all.
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so really the only ones to have legitimate cause for outcry are the excessive masturbators amongst us. Let anyone with a greivance raise it now or forever hold your piece.
