At the ripe old age of 50, I forget, but I don't think I ever liked nasty men. Why do so many girls fancy them? Even when they KNOW they are users and scum.
What makes (some) girls like bad boys?
I think women are good at spotting potential and they go into relationships with guys who have some traits they like and the ones that they don't, they convince themselves they'll be able to change.
Big mistake - nobody ever changes because someone else wants them to.
Big mistake - nobody ever changes because someone else wants them to.
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“I think women are good at spotting potential and they go into relationships with guys who have some traits they like and the ones that they don't, they convince themselves they'll be able to change.
Big mistake - nobody ever changes because someone else wants them to.”
“I think women are good at spotting potential and they go into relationships with guys who have some traits they like and the ones that they don't, they convince themselves they'll be able to change.
Big mistake - nobody ever changes because someone else wants them to.”
Indeed, these are the girls that say 'all men are arseholes'. No, you keep throwing yourself at arseholes you think you can change.
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“I think women are good at spotting potential and they go into relationships with guys who have some traits they like and the ones that they don't, they convince themselves they'll be able to change.
Big mistake - nobody ever changes because someone else wants them to.”
“I think women are good at spotting potential and they go into relationships with guys who have some traits they like and the ones that they don't, they convince themselves they'll be able to change.
Big mistake - nobody ever changes because someone else wants them to.”
Indeed , and some like the challenge of thinking they can change the person.
Also, it could be other issues linked to self-esteem.
Originally Posted by Aimee:
“At the ripe old age of 50, I forget, but I don't think I ever liked nasty men. Why do so many girls fancy them? Even when they KNOW they are users and scum.”
“At the ripe old age of 50, I forget, but I don't think I ever liked nasty men. Why do so many girls fancy them? Even when they KNOW they are users and scum.”
Maybe because they (the men/boys in question) are reasonably good looking and take care of their appearance. They are usually on the vain side so will keep their bodies looking good, groom, wear trendy clothes. They like to be seen as a bit "flash" so won't mind spending on meals, clubs, holidays etc. Also, if you know he has been with other highly attractive girls and he want you, then that is an ego boost. Bad boys seem to have many friends, be one of the "lads" but will also know the right things to say to get a girl into bed. They tend to have a "reputation" but are "good to their mums", another desire able trait. Also the girls would love to have the kudos of being the one who "tames" him.
Originally Posted by Lee_Bo:
“Indeed, these are the girls that say 'all men are arseholes'. No, you keep throwing yourself at arseholes you think you can change.”
“Indeed, these are the girls that say 'all men are arseholes'. No, you keep throwing yourself at arseholes you think you can change.”
Originally Posted by Blanche.Dubois:
“Indeed , and some like the challenge of thinking they can change the person.
Also, it could be other issues linked to self-esteem.”
“Indeed , and some like the challenge of thinking they can change the person.
Also, it could be other issues linked to self-esteem.”
I think you've both hit on something.........sometimes, women repeat the pattern of going with arseholes over and over again because they don't believe they deserve any better.
Self-esteem issues, or lack thereof.
Originally Posted by Goggle girl:
“Maybe because they (the men/boys in question) are reasonably good looking and take care of their appearance. They are usually on the vain side so will keep their bodies looking good, groom, wear trendy clothes. They like to be seen as a bit "flash" so won't mind spending on meals, clubs, holidays etc. Also, if you know he has been with other highly attractive girls and he want you, then that is an ego boost. Bad boys seem to have many friends, be one of the "lads" but will also know the right things to say to get a girl into bed. They tend to have a "reputation" but are "good to their mums", another desire able trait. Also the girls would love to have the kudos of being the one who "tames" him.”
“Maybe because they (the men/boys in question) are reasonably good looking and take care of their appearance. They are usually on the vain side so will keep their bodies looking good, groom, wear trendy clothes. They like to be seen as a bit "flash" so won't mind spending on meals, clubs, holidays etc. Also, if you know he has been with other highly attractive girls and he want you, then that is an ego boost. Bad boys seem to have many friends, be one of the "lads" but will also know the right things to say to get a girl into bed. They tend to have a "reputation" but are "good to their mums", another desire able trait. Also the girls would love to have the kudos of being the one who "tames" him.”
I agree with all of that but would add that being attracted to those types of men is usually just a phase in a woman's life, when they're young and inexperienced..
I've been completely unimpressed by 'that bloke' since my late twenties/early thirties.
The only bad boys girls are interested in are good-looking bad boys. I'm sure there are ugly or ordinary looking bad boys, but these aren't interesting to girls. The 'bad' will only be stuff like cheating or badmouthing, they won't usually be criminals in any sense of the word. There is an exception to this if the girl herself isn't conventionally attractive - e.g Gemma Collins, Danielle Westbrook and Lauren Goodger all dated criminals who were with them for their money.
So, as others have said, it comes down to the challenge of taming a bad boy.
So, as others have said, it comes down to the challenge of taming a bad boy.
I think its a sex thing . They believe sex is more exciting with a bad guy.
Maybe it is but you'll pay in the long run for a bit of excitement with lots of heartache and pain .
Maybe it is but you'll pay in the long run for a bit of excitement with lots of heartache and pain .
"is she really going out with him, is she really going to take him home tonight"? 
judging by the house at the moment, I'd say these girls are gullible, empty headed morons
judging by the house at the moment, I'd say these girls are gullible, empty headed morons
Originally Posted by Bunions:
“I think you've both hit on something.........sometimes, women repeat the pattern of going with arseholes over and over again because they don't believe they deserve any better.
Self-esteem issues, or lack thereof.”
“I think you've both hit on something.........sometimes, women repeat the pattern of going with arseholes over and over again because they don't believe they deserve any better.
Self-esteem issues, or lack thereof.”
It is exactly that....self esteem issues. Possibly due to a previous abusive relationship and so anything looks better. I am the rips old age of 47 and speak from experience. Even if they are not bad boys they may not be the best boys for you but you stay there because you are not good enough to find someone else.
Originally Posted by summitus:
“Lack of a brain probably
”
“Lack of a brain probably
”
No even intelligent women don't feel they are good enough and so stay with what they have rather than be lonely.
Originally Posted by JVB69:
“It is exactly that....self esteem issues. Possibly due to a previous abusive relationship and so anything looks better. I am the rips old age of 47 and speak from experience. Even if they are not bad boys they may not be the best boys for you but you stay there because you are not good enough to find someone else.”
“It is exactly that....self esteem issues. Possibly due to a previous abusive relationship and so anything looks better. I am the rips old age of 47 and speak from experience. Even if they are not bad boys they may not be the best boys for you but you stay there because you are not good enough to find someone else.”
Or don't believe that you are
I love that Maya Angelou saying:
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better"
Originally Posted by JVB69:
“No even intelligent women don't feel they are good enough and so stay with what they have rather than be lonely.”
“No even intelligent women don't feel they are good enough and so stay with what they have rather than be lonely.”
I think that fear of being alone is a dangerous thing, for women and men.
It makes them make the poorest of relationship choices and put up with things they really shouldn't.
Very sad.
Originally Posted by summitus:
“Lack of a brain probably”
“Lack of a brain probably
”
And low self esteem, however lacking in the brain department.
They think they are worthless, so see bad boys and get what makes them feel comfortable.
But a lot of them think that they are 'strong' and think they can 'change them'.
But they aren't and they don't.
It's really sad.
STEP 1 - he's misunderstood and I can fix him
STEP 2 - like a roller coaster life with a bad boy can bring wonderful dangerous highs but also extreme lows when you are ignored or not valued.
STEP 3a If you have low self esteem or fear being alone, and value the highs rather than your own basic needs, you stay and put up with all the sh!t and will claim that your friends don't see the real man
STEP 3b If you have self-respect and the courage to break the cycle valuing your needs rather than the crumbs from a bad boys table, you are free to end the relationship and find a loving relationship.
The problem is that even girls that think they have escaped the cycle can be pulled back in by a more manipulative bad boy... I.e. Marnie has fallen for Lewis based on the fact he's nicer to her than other guys, but he just has a more developed script with lines such as "teach me how to love"
At the end of the day though, Bear is just.a spoilt brat that craves attention rather than a bad boy.
STEP 2 - like a roller coaster life with a bad boy can bring wonderful dangerous highs but also extreme lows when you are ignored or not valued.
STEP 3a If you have low self esteem or fear being alone, and value the highs rather than your own basic needs, you stay and put up with all the sh!t and will claim that your friends don't see the real man
STEP 3b If you have self-respect and the courage to break the cycle valuing your needs rather than the crumbs from a bad boys table, you are free to end the relationship and find a loving relationship.
The problem is that even girls that think they have escaped the cycle can be pulled back in by a more manipulative bad boy... I.e. Marnie has fallen for Lewis based on the fact he's nicer to her than other guys, but he just has a more developed script with lines such as "teach me how to love"
At the end of the day though, Bear is just.a spoilt brat that craves attention rather than a bad boy.
Evolution.
In early human history, young men who challenged tribal order were also the ones who were most likely to amass power and therefore make better potential mates.
In early human history, young men who challenged tribal order were also the ones who were most likely to amass power and therefore make better potential mates.
Originally Posted by Zarla:
“The only bad boys girls are interested in are good-looking bad boys. I'm sure there are ugly or ordinary looking bad boys, but these aren't interesting to girls. The 'bad' will only be stuff like cheating or badmouthing, they won't usually be criminals in any sense of the word. There is an exception to this if the girl herself isn't conventionally attractive - e.g Gemma Collins, Danielle Westbrook and Lauren Goodger all dated criminals who were with them for their money.
So, as others have said, it comes down to the challenge of taming a bad boy.”
“The only bad boys girls are interested in are good-looking bad boys. I'm sure there are ugly or ordinary looking bad boys, but these aren't interesting to girls. The 'bad' will only be stuff like cheating or badmouthing, they won't usually be criminals in any sense of the word. There is an exception to this if the girl herself isn't conventionally attractive - e.g Gemma Collins, Danielle Westbrook and Lauren Goodger all dated criminals who were with them for their money.
So, as others have said, it comes down to the challenge of taming a bad boy.”
This is the truth. It's all about looks.
Women are attracted to good-looking men. No-one questions why women are attracted to nice good-looking men, only the scumbags.
But a nice good-looking man will normally hang on to a nice woman, so there are fewer of these to go round. But the scumbags will spread themselves more thinly so it will appear that there are more of them.
I've heard this change theory numerous times and only aimed at women - is it really true?
I reckon it's more a case of thinking these guys could be exciting or a lack of self worth on the females part.
I reckon it's more a case of thinking these guys could be exciting or a lack of self worth on the females part.
I blame Hollywood. There are films dating back to the beginning of moving pictures which show women falling for bad boys who turn into decent men, changed by lurve and we grow up watching these and believing them.
I blame Hollywood for a lot of the high romantic expectations of us humans. It's not all their fault, but they have fed us so much crap over time that people want real life to be like that, and it's really not.
I blame Hollywood for a lot of the high romantic expectations of us humans. It's not all their fault, but they have fed us so much crap over time that people want real life to be like that, and it's really not.
