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Is Jesus to busy for big brother.


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Old 15-08-2016, 23:11
lynwood3
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Mary has come to the diary room and requested a pregnancy test, although she swears on her mother's life that she has not had sex in the house.
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Old 15-08-2016, 23:14
bangle1
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1.02am : Moses, having drunk too many cans of vodka and cola casually throws his cigarette in a naked Marnie's direction. You can guess what happened next.....burning bush!
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Old 15-08-2016, 23:18
An Thropologist
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1.02am : Moses, having drunk too many cans of vodka and cola casually throws his cigarette in a naked Marnie's direction. You can guess what happened next.....burning bush!
*Moses shakes his staff in it*
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Old 15-08-2016, 23:19
bangle1
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Mary has come to the diary room and requested a pregnancy test, although she swears on her mother's life that she has not had sex in the house.
Herod comes to the diary room offering his support to Mary, armed with a knitting needle.
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Old 15-08-2016, 23:53
Heatherbell
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http://i.imgur.com/8kaJZkZ.jpg

Annoying that DS doesn't allow image tags. Anyway, not my best work, I had to use gimp as I don't have photoshop installed on my macbook. But you get the idea.
Hahaha , love it .
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Old 15-08-2016, 23:57
Heatherbell
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Mary has come to the diary room and requested a pregnancy test, although she swears on her mother's life that she has not had sex in the house.
....however , footage shows her fooling around in the pool with John The Bap during his dunking sessions .
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Old 15-08-2016, 23:59
nattoyaki
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http://i.imgur.com/8kaJZkZ.jpg

Annoying that DS doesn't allow image tags. Anyway, not my best work, I had to use gimp as I don't have photoshop installed on my macbook. But you get the idea.
Superb!

Where is KT when you need the transcript though?!!
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:07
Heatherbell
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1.02am : Moses, having drunk too many cans of vodka and cola casually throws his cigarette in a naked Marnie's direction. You can guess what happened next.....burning bush!
Ah , more fire , that must have been the night that Moses shepherded the other HMs to safety through the fire exits (a la Jason Burrill) singing 🎶"Let my people go"🎶 as they conga-ed round the car park in their Moses sandals waiting for the fire engines.
That Moses ! Never misses a chance to perform .Pfft .
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:10
BillyLagan
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BB: Would Jesus come to the Diary Room.

Jesus: Aw no, wot 'av I dun nah?

BB: Jesus, you have been warned about dangerous and anti-social behaviour before.

Jesus: Yeah?

BB: All of the housemates are completely drunk.

Jesus: Rat arsed, I know! Wicked innit?

BB: Yes Jesus, it is wicked. John the Baptist currently has his head down the toilet, and Judas is floating face down in the pool...

Jesus: Nah, Judas is doin' a Jayne...

BB: All the other housemates are collapsed in heaps. You've turned the water into wine again, haven't you?

Jesus: Yeah, I dun that 'cos I'm the Messiah

BB: You're not the Messiah, you're a very naughty boy...
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:12
flower 2
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And again.....Jesus wept!
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:13
Heatherbell
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BB: Would Jesus come to the Diary Room.

Jesus: Aw no, wot 'av I dun nah?

BB: Jesus, you have been warned about dangerous and anti-social behaviour before.

Jesus: Yeah?

BB: All of the housemates are completely drunk.

Jesus: Rat arsed, I know! Wicked innit?

BB: Yes Jesus, it is wicked. John the Baptist currently has his head down the toilet, and Judas is floating face down in the pool...

Jesus: Nah, Judas is doin' a Jayne...

BB: All the other housemates are collapsed in heaps. You've turned the water into wine again, haven't you?

Jesus: Yeah, I dun that 'cos I'm the Messiah

BB: You're not the Messiah, you're a very naughty boy...

Oh gawd , I actually read that in a BB style voice and with Jebus talking like Del boy Trotter .
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:15
BillyLagan
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C'mon, it's late. What do you expect at this time of night? A miracle?






I'll get me coat.
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:33
Menk
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Day 22. Fight Night to end all Fight Nights has happened in the Big Brother house after a task got out of hand. The HMs were asked to stand on podiums and line themselves up in order of: omnipotence, compassion, most followers, most peace-loving, most credible, and finally, whose scriptures most stood up to scrutiny.

Scenes never before witnessed in the BB house have taken place and we regret to inform you that Big Brother has been taken off air with immediate effect.
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:34
An Thropologist
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BB: Would Jesus come to the Diary Room.

Jesus: Aw no, wot 'av I dun nah?

BB: Jesus, you have been warned about dangerous and anti-social behaviour before.

Jesus: Yeah?

BB: All of the housemates are completely drunk.

Jesus: Rat arsed, I know! Wicked innit?

BB: Yes Jesus, it is wicked. John the Baptist currently has his head down the toilet, and Judas is floating face down in the pool...

Jesus: Nah, Judas is doin' a Jayne...

BB: All the other housemates are collapsed in heaps. You've turned the water into wine again, haven't you?

Jesus: Yeah, I dun that 'cos I'm the Messiah

BB: You're not the Messiah, you're a very naughty boy...
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:36
An Thropologist
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Day 22. Fight Night to end all Fight Nights has happened in the Big Brother house after a task got out of hand. The HMs were asked to stand on podiums and line themselves up in order of: omnipotence, compassion, most followers, most peace-loving, most credible, and finally, whose scriptures most stood up to scrutiny.

Scenes never before witnessed in the BB house have taken place and we regret to inform you that Big Brother has been taken off air with immediate effect.
Roll credits and closing music (probably sung by the used car salesman from Eastenders)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:48
Xuri
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All characters portrayed in this programme are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

I know it's an old joke but someone had to get it out of the way.
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:52
nattoyaki
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All characters portrayed in this programme are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

I know it's an old joke but someone had to get it out of the way.
A joke?

I've been believing that shit since The Kids of Degrassi Street in the mid-80s
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Old 16-08-2016, 00:53
KT_Dog
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http://i.imgur.com/8kaJZkZ.jpg

Annoying that DS doesn't allow image tags. Anyway, not my best work, I had to use gimp as I don't have photoshop installed on my macbook. But you get the idea.
"Apparently Bear has 60k followers... Yeah, *think* I can beat that!"
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Old 16-08-2016, 01:00
Xuri
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A joke?

I've been believing that shit since The Kids of Degrassi Street in the mid-80s
Haha, me too.

I just meant it's been used as a joke before a few times. First one that pops to my head is in Red Dwarf -- it's the missing front page of the bible.
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Old 16-08-2016, 01:07
nattoyaki
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Haha, me too.

I just meant it's been used as a joke before a few times. First one that pops to my head is in Red Dwarf -- it's the missing front page of the bible.
Showing my age here, but I think my earliest memory of it may actually have been The Red Hand Gang Super show that was though

Bring on the new Red Dwarf, can't wait!

Right back to Jesus and Mohammed et al! We're a few Greek, Roman and Norse Gods short at last count too, by Jove!!!
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Old 16-08-2016, 01:22
dialectic
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Jonah, who has jinxed many of the tasks, thus far, looks warily at an angry James Whale, who looks like he might eat him whole.
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Old 16-08-2016, 01:22
An Thropologist
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Showing my age here, but I think my earliest memory of it may actually have been The Red Hand Gang Super show that was though

Bring on the new Red Dwarf, can't wait!

Right back to Jesus and Mohammed et al! We're a few Greek, Roman and Norse Gods short at last count too, by Jove!!!
Marcus saying Woden would be wonderful.

Woden is stroking Huggin and Munnin in the garden.
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Old 16-08-2016, 02:08
scatcatcathy
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That was ridiculous it reminded me of Russell Brand's stand up when he was recalling Britney Spears and others winning a VMA!
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Old 16-08-2016, 09:13
zolug
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What has happened to my thread, I feel it has been hijacked and altered in Biblical proportions.
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Old 16-08-2016, 09:28
allie4
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And Jesus said "Blessed are the trouble makers" - or was it cheese makers?
He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy!
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