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10 years on what would you see all the HMs doing?


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Old 27-08-2016, 13:30
Evil Genius
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Bear - banged up doing a stretch for assaulting someone who didn't appreciate his mouthing off at them
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Old 27-08-2016, 13:38
patsylimerick
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Yay! Funniness!!!!!

So much controversy tonight from the various camps of supporters about who was the rightful winners and losers from CBB 2016. No way to call it but I think an interesting perspective would be what you thought the various HMs would doing in 10 years time off the back of the show.

Lewis ... No longer on TV but has invested his money wisely ( he's vain not stupid) and earns a good living off the proceeds. Divorced with young kids because he failed to understand that the women who threw themselves at him because he used to be famous weren't a patch on the woman he married.

Marnie .... didn't invest her money wisely ( she's not vain but stupid) but is happily married to a welder from South Shields whose a real looker with a big cock and she has 4 kids.

Heavy D .... Does the odd promo at night clubs where he turns up and shouts Boom.

Renee ... CBB was a real turning point for her, she took anger management classes, converted to Buddism and is now does PR for the Dalai Lama.

Katie ... after her 2016 smash hit "Instability" she retired from music, converted to Scientology and is married to Tom Cruise. Frankie walked her down the aisle.

James Whale ... still producing Whales Weekly for Radio Berkshire, If it's not broke don't fix it.

Frankie .... lives in LA with his twin Pekingese dogs Rylan and Emma and his younger Cuban boyfriend Orquidea (it means "beautiful as a flower" and that's what Frankie thinks he is ). He maintains his successful career presenting and choreographing stage shows.

Bear ... Had his 15 minutes of fame which due to his perseverance, positive thinking and sheer inability to shut the f*ck up stretched to 45 minutes. He went through his £12k CBB fee plus the Ok and Channel 5 royalties for coverage of his and Chloe's first shag (or was it the 2nd,3rd,4th) in the next 6 months. When the money ran out Chloe moved out too. Luckily Bears mum stepped in and he is back at home in his Thomas the Tank Engine bedroom.

Just my thoughts, anyone else.
Excellent!

Audery ... landed her dream job writing speeches for Hilary Clinton shortly after leaving the house, a fellow strong woman who always keeps it real. Unfortunately, after one too many unwelcome passes from Bill in the first few weeks she resigned for personal reasons having never once inhaled. She's a reality TV gal at heart though so when the big bucks rolled in from Donald she had a sudden epiphany and joined the Republican campaign. Audrey O'Day is largely credited with delivering the presidency to Donald Trump by transforming his appeal to woman voters through the launch of Trump Tampons, wear your kitten ears to work day and the "yes I am a total bitch 5 days of the month, get over it" support group. She is also credited in her charity work for eradicating Bears in America which has seen death from Bear related injuries drop significantly.
Love it!

Bear is in a horrific scatalogical reality show with previous winner Helen titled "Does Bear Shit in the Woods?" Will he do it? And more importantly where will he do it.

"Bear's feelin' missschivushhh to-dayyyy!" he says to himself, walking around the contraption holding Woods's body that allows her to be tilted to any angle. "And Bear's also been eatin' a lot-a beans." he continues. "A lot of beans."


Biggins: Following his heart rendering visit to Auschwitz (filmed in monochome for C5 and broadcast in early 2017) Biggins converted to Judaism. Having returned to the theatre and briefly touring as Fagan in Oliver and Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof (both roles receiving far from critical acclaim) he believed he was becoming typecast and decided to retire from show business altogether. He now lives on a kibbutz 30 miles north of Tel Aviv. His autobiography "Oy Vey, where did it all go wrong?" is currently only available on Amazon in the Hebrew Kindle version.
THIS! This is my favourite!
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Old 27-08-2016, 14:56
BabelBrook
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Yay! Funniness!!!!!

THIS! This is my favourite!
Mine too
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Old 27-08-2016, 15:12
Pitman
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lovin' this thread, love the Biggins one

I was going to do a Grant prediction, but I fear I would get banned and then arrested for defamation of character
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Old 27-08-2016, 15:56
circle game
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I saw a former BBHM on one of those programmes about people on benefits...can't remember her name. She referred to herself as a 'celebrity' and felt that she couldn't do a 'normal' job but was looking for ways to get back to where she was(?) .I suspect this will happen to quite a few HMs, even the 'celebrity' ones.

As for Bear, the future is bleak I'm afraid. He lacks any insight into his situation and is open to exploitation - he will probably do a bit of TV, won't earn much but and will spend it all on a lavish life-style. Within a year he'll be broke.

His saving grace is that he has a supportive family. He is going to need them.
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Old 27-08-2016, 16:00
Pitman
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I saw a former BBHM on one of those programmes about people on benefits...can't remember her name. She referred to herself as a 'celebrity' and felt that she couldn't do a 'normal' job but was looking for ways to get back to where she was(?) .I suspect this will happen to quite a few HMs, even the 'celebrity' ones.

As for Bear, the future is bleak I'm afraid. He lacks any insight into his situation and is open to exploitation - he will probably do a bit of TV, won't earn much but and will spend it all on a lavish life-style. Within a year he'll be broke.

His saving grace is that he has a supportive family. He is going to need them.

have you seen his old man last night, I don't think he'll be of a great support ?

a yobbish little dimwit, judging on that one minute
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Old 27-08-2016, 16:34
Virgil Tracy
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Aubrey will have morphed into Renee , miserable and nasty .

Renee will be doing time .
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Old 27-08-2016, 17:24
Blondie X
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I saw a former BBHM on one of those programmes about people on benefits...can't remember her name. She referred to herself as a 'celebrity' and felt that she couldn't do a 'normal' job but was looking for ways to get back to where she was(?) .I suspect this will happen to quite a few HMs, even the 'celebrity' ones.

As for Bear, the future is bleak I'm afraid. He lacks any insight into his situation and is open to exploitation - he will probably do a bit of TV, won't earn much but and will spend it all on a lavish life-style. Within a year he'll be broke.

His saving grace is that he has a supportive family. He is going to need them.
That was Lisa who used to be with Mario (BB9 I think). She came across as beyond deluded. Didn't she say something like the reason he doesn't get offered jobs is because the interviewers are star struck and jealous of her? The only think most people remember her for is the fact her and Mario were beyond cringey - dunking my custard cream in hot, juicy tea anyone?
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