The show began at approximately 6.15pm, with lots of time allocated to them sorting out technical thingamys and whatnot beforehand, since Olly Murs' stage was already set up when we arrived. Everyone agreed that the set is a lot smaller in real life, and that the seats are very squashed together. Anton came outside to entertain the audience prior to the show, and also perhaps to distract us from the fact that a casually-dressed Will got in his car and drove off about five minutes before the whole thing was due to begin. Some speculated he was doing a runner. I imagine he just nipped to Tesco.

We were sat about halfway along the block of seats directly opposite the judges, who were only present for the bits that they needed to be present for and backstage the other four hours and 55 minutes. We weren't actually sat anywhere near the people who we queued with, so I suppose your specific number isn't so much as important as the group you enter the studio with (we were in the 100-150 group), as I'm sure those who've attended in previous years can vouch for. We were a few rows up from the front, where the friends and family were sat, including Yvette Cooper, Linda Robson and various spouses of pros (Joanne's boyfriend and Gorka's Scottish fiancee, for example), as well as the likes of Ian Waite who got a shout-out at the start. Kevin spent a lot of time during the breaks chatting with his dad, who was somewhere near the front. To our right, near the band, were the members of the press, including a not-very-smiley Liz Jones. As far as I was aware, there was no Mr Redknapp in attendance.

The first thing to be recorded was Olly's performance, although one of Tess and Claudia's later links would suggest that it'll be one of the last things you see on TV. The pro dancers during this bit were (iirc) Neil & Katya, Kevin & Karen and Gorka & Oksana. Olly also danced with Karen, and didn't look too shabby. It took two and a bit takes to film: the "two" being because we weren't enthusiastic enough the first time around (read: in other words, not enough 'woo'-ing) and the "bit" because Olly began by singing the wrong words, also known as "audio issues". He also apologised for swearing because his mum was in the audience, which I highly doubt you'll see. Oh, and it may just be her heels, but it seemed to me that Olly was shorter than Darcey. Judge Rinder was also shorter than I imagined him to be, if that counts for anything.

They then filmed one of the pro numbers, which was a massive salsa to Conga, featuring all of the professionals plus various dancers from salsa clubs around the country (but none from Watford). All of the returning pros got their own introduction during the routine, plus the lovely six new pros each had their own segment (Oksana's involved her being flipped up onto a table and I'm very surprised that they nailed it in each of the takes). It had fire drums, shirtless bongo players, the works. One of the funniest moments of the night was later on, when Tess and Claud were filming a skit involving long jumper-based wordplay to immediately follow on from this dance. The audience members behind them were asked to give a standing ovation and then sit down when the presenters began speaking, simply for continuity reasons. One poor gentlemen didn't get the last bit of the memo and remained standing throughout the entire link, long after everybody had sat down, obliviously staring into the camera. He was in good spirits about it afterwards, but... well, it's fairly safe to say that it won't make the edit.

Rebecca Ferguson then came on and performed her new single. None of her entourage, including the band and Rebecca herself, knew when the single was coming out. She was joined by (again, iirc) Brendan & Natalie, AJ & Chloe and Aljaz with a partner who I don't believe was Janette, and took two takes to film for technical reasons. It was pleasant.

About two and a half-three hours into the recording, Tess and Claudia came on, welcoming us to the show as if we hadn't already been there for fourteen years at that point (the audience became more content once the air con was switched on and Kit Kats and Haribos were tossed around). Claudia was quipping about her bowel movements, how she hasn't worked in nearly a year, which members of the production team she's shagged at Blackpool, et cetera, Tess... should be thankful for her scriptwriter. She tried, bless her, she tried. They then recorded a few voice-overs and links, the latter type being altered and re-written and recorded so many times that Claudia looked as if she wanted to quit show business by the end of it. Afterwards, they introduced Jay & Aliona, who danced their Jive and were (still) very good at it indeed, even with multiple takes. They then did a short interview, with Jay telling the cast to support one another and Aliona wishing everyone luck and saying that she had a wonderful seven years on Strictly. At one point, the warm-up guy Stuart (who presented about five times the amount that Tess and Claudia did, fyi) made a joke about Jay's hamster falling asleep at the wheel. Whilst we were waiting for the routine to begin, Stuart also asked Melvin's dad if he knew the steps to the dance just in case, and Melvin's dad very nearly volunteered. It was all very lovely.

They then filmed the continuation of the pro dance which began on the red carpet the previous night, and involved several different technical elements like the band having to record a version of Starships to presumably play over the red carpet footage, as well as a by-the-magic-of-television transitioning segment behind a curtain. There was a short break after this, during which activities which I assume are fairly normal during recordings - such as a competition to sit in the judges' chairs, a quiz to win a signed copy of Craig's book and a group sing-a-long to New York, New York - occurred. Roughly fifteen minutes later, they recorded more of the opening number, which involved the judges. They had to get this in one take because of the amount of glitter and confetti let off during the routine, so, y'know, fingers crossed. If you're wondering why the audience looks tired and sweaty during the opening of the show, that's why.

The very nervous celebrities arrived... I'd say three hours and 45 minutes into the recording, filming their introductions without anybody falling down the stairs (from what I can remember, Louise was announced first and Anastacia last. Ed was announced as "former Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls", to add insult to injury). Before this, Tess and Claudia rehearsed and filmed their opening bit, which included a slightly-drowned-out-by-applause joke about Claudia's mascara and ended in the aforementioned celeb introductions. The pairings-up were recorded fairly swiftly, with a very quick break in between each one. The last couple paired in each segment had to wait on the stairs for a minute or two until Claudia and her crew were ready to film, which I found quite amusing. Hey, it was five hours in at this point, we were all going slightly crazy. As far as I'm aware, these were all filmed in the order that they'll be aired in, albeit sans VTs.

I don't know how much of the Tess-on-celebrity conversations and Claud Nine sections will make it into the show itself, but there were a lot of fun moments: Will attempting to start #HelpWill and #RescueWill hashtags, Judge Rinder joking that he's "never been this nervous meeting a girl before", Ore demonstrating how he now dances when going to the toilet and pretty much anything involving Tameka (such as her completely messing up shouting the word "conga", which was followed by Ed asking what a conga is), for example. Once everyone was paired up, they quickly went into the final group number (given that it was pushing midnight by this point), which seemed to go off without a hitch and which did indeed close the show. It went by far too quickly for me to properly notice whether anyone was amazing or disastrous or amazingly disastrous, but I'd definitely watch out for Tameka. They all seemed like they were having fun, especially Greg and Natalie, who were going through the routine together a little earlier up in Claud Nine. I reckon they'll be good value as a couple.

Ooh, what else... I've probably forgotten the best parts... well, they brought in a stunt double for Claudia (Winkleman) named Jess, who was filmed back-flipping and somersaulting all over the shop for no apparent reason. We only got context for this when she and Tess actually filmed the skit about a hour later. Claudia also swore a lot more than you'd expect her to, or maybe a lot less, depending on your perception of Claudia. Len got a bit of an 'aww' for it being his last year. Bruno made a joke about the prospect of Ed rumba-ing being "worse than Brexit", which I'm not certain will survive the edit. The pros had a lot of fun mucking around during the pairings-up, especially the blokes. Anton has decided that him and Lesley are making the final this year. All of the celebs came off well (I've mentioned it several times but Tameka received a fantastic audience reception, as did Judge Rinder, Will, Greg, Lesley and Melvin. Anastacia was pretty popular too, but didn't seem to have much faith in herself. Ore was enthusiastic. Claudia seemed slightly shy and Will was terrified, but nerves were clearly going to play a big part and they seemed to have relaxed by the end). As we left, the couples were doing their first interviews on the floor, and press photos etc were being taken. Overall, it was a long, exhausting, hand-hurting, fantastic night and I'm far too lucky that I was able to be there. Hopefully lots of people from here are successful in this year's ballot, because it really is worth it!