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Old 09-10-2016, 20:31
mimi dlc
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Me too. I've never understood the men in uniforms appeal, but I would very much like Gorka to take down my particulars
'Ello 'ello' ello!
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Old 10-10-2016, 17:57
DeiseDays
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Kudos to jtnorth for finding the DS Manual on SCD Sleb Criteria

I'd hate to be a celeb on this show. You must care deeply but not too deeply. You must be brilliant from the beginning but you mustn't have danced before. You must look terrified when waiting to hear the results but you mustn't look upset when you are in the dance off. You must be thrilled that you are through but not so happy that you don't look traumatised that someone you met three weeks ago has been voted off. You mustn't hide in the background up with Claude but you mustn't push yourself to the front. You must hug your partner constantly without suggesting there is anything going on. You must have personality but not too much personality. You mustn't be cocky, woobie, smug, fake, nervous, starting to believe the hype or dancing with a Clifton...
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Old 22-10-2016, 19:18
mimi dlc
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After Anastacia and Gorka's QS
That bench has a good agent. At least one appreance a week negotiated.
Gorka is delightful
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Old 24-10-2016, 13:26
What name??
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On the latest conspiracy theory about ringas.

I believe he went to a school which had its own theatre. I cannot believe he didn't do some form of theatrical performance in the time he was there.
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Old 27-10-2016, 12:45
DeltaBlues
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This comeback from Wiskas2 in the NAT:


I have to say I am developing a soft spot for Kevin.
Me too. It's about 6ft long by 2ft wide by 6 foot deep, and it's in the middle of a nice deep bog.
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Old 27-10-2016, 18:37
sofakat
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I love this thread.
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Old 27-10-2016, 18:46
edy10
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Kudos to jtnorth for finding the DS Manual on SCD Sleb Criteria
That post was hilarious. ...even more so because it's so true
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Old 28-10-2016, 14:48
mimi dlc
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Maybe they could compensate by having a "Traditional Week" where all the participants dress in appropriately traditional outfits.

Would be a nice tribute to the earlier days of Strictly.
And maybe even *gasp* appropriate music?
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Old 28-10-2016, 14:52
Hamlet77
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And maybe even *gasp* appropriate music?
Don't be daft, they'll never go for it.
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Old 28-10-2016, 15:01
Alleycat666
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Various opinions from the Who's voting for Ed Balls thread...

Left wing radicals as they want to show support for the former stalwart of the Labour front benches.

Right wing extremists as they want to see a former stalwart of the Labout front benches make a complete t*t of himself on live television.

OMG Ed Balls is going to win Strictly😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
...Probably the entire Labour Party...
Well, all you people voting for Ed, I hope you feel responsible next time he tries a deadly lift and kills Katya dead on spot. You'll have blood on your hands, bloooooood!
f

Well he's running out of chances to kill Katya. Only the salsa and argentine tango left to do lifts, and those lifts tend to be more modest. . So I doubt I'll be washing the blood from my hands like Lady Macbeth.

Also there is a possibility that Katya contributed to the lift going wrong (noone has identified the cause of it going pear shaped as far as I am aware). It does happen with professionals. My dance teacher put his back out for a while after doing a lift with his professional partner.
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Old 28-10-2016, 15:20
Alleycat666
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And this from Mimi in the Strictly Ikea catalogue...

Important : Product recall
The BRENDN storage unit has been recalled for safety reasons while a defect is investigated.
The chest section is too tight and the unit makes wheezy noises during use.
Customers who need something to display their ANSTAYSHA anglepoise lamp can borrow a GORKE side table.

Please note : the bottom drawer of the BRENDN is designed to stick out at the rear of the unit. This is a design feature and not a defect
.
Particularly the bib
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Old 29-10-2016, 17:56
Monsieur23
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I think they'll be paying attention...

Having got drunk and stuck £25 on Laura at 25/1 I will be watching her with the laser beam intensity of a bomb squad operative supervising his Parkinson's disease addled apprentice as he works on a ticking bomb that sits in the alley between an orphanage for especially cute orphans and a dog's home specialising in only the very fluffiest of corgi and samoyed puppies. In the middle of an earthquake. Also the apprentice is colour blind and has been talking a lot recently about how he doesn't really value life any more and wonders if he should end it all. Both the orphanage and the puppy home are owned by a private charity run by billionaire nymphomaniac gymnast ladies and they will be very grateful if the bomb is defused. Yes.
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Old 29-10-2016, 23:07
tortoiseperson
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There's a huge part of me that would love Louise to have been on last year, partnered with Gleb. Every dance would be a smorgasbord of him floor bothering and dry humping the furniture whilst Louise stood in the corner refusing to take off her cardigan.
Thank you for the laugh, Tanzie!
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Old 30-10-2016, 11:42
Glanbraint
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Made me chuckle

If the performances (in order) were horror films...

1. The Silence of the Hams.

2. The Mothman Prophecies.

3. Rosemary's Babies.

4. An American Weirdmilf in London.

5. The Descent.

6.* The Blergh Witch project or Burn the witch (Sore 2) * rabid GG fans only

7. A Nightmare on Elstree.

8. The Conjuring.

9. Bride of Frankenstein.

10. The Evil Ed/Night of the loving Ed/Dawn of the Ed/Day of the Ed/
The Wicker man (Christ, no! )

Dance Off: Let the right one in.
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Old 31-10-2016, 08:58
Alleycat666
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Thoughts on Louse and Kevin's AT from the NAT:

Maybe Len will say, we wanted gauchos in the pampas but all we got was croquet on the lawn!
I think Louise (or Jamie) might actually have a fit if the words "lady of the night" are mentioned...
Her "lady of the night" outfit will involve a nice cardigan from Marks and Spencer Classics range with couple too many buttons undone.
.....or dressing in some high buttoned pyjamas
Lady of the nightie in a sensible winceyette number with candlewick dressing gown.
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Old 31-10-2016, 09:32
J.R
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Originally Posted by Moany Liza
"I imagine them to be a bunch of sweaty, flatulent, malodorous, misogynistic wobblebottoms.

Freedom of expression is a wonderful thing."

Freedom of expression is indeed a wonderful thing - as is being able to come up with a sentence like that.
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Old 31-10-2016, 17:06
PinkDiamond
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From the "Ola or Aliona for I'm a Celeb" thread



If Ola wanted to spend time lying on her back with venomous reptiles slithering all over her, she could just stay at home with James.


For anyone unsure, that was just my little joke.
So funny and 2 in a row for Moany Liza - you're on fire!
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Old 31-10-2016, 17:20
Moany Liza
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From the "Ola or Aliona for I'm a Celeb" thread



So funny and 2 in a row for Moany Liza - you're on fire!
You're too kind.
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Old 31-10-2016, 23:26
Moany Liza
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Sheer brilliance here from Muggsy in the "Is Kevin having a crisis thread?"!

Keep up! Psychiatry is so two weeks ago. Everybody's retrained in respiratory medicine this week
I'm still laughing!
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Old 01-11-2016, 09:57
VintageWhine
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Natalie swearing as she came up the stairs!
What did she say?!
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:11
Alleycat666
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From katt on the Jamie Rednapp thread

I thought the exact opposite last night - same as every week tbh

he always looks completely vacant, like he really doesn't want to be there and bewildered - like he popped out for a pint of milk and somehow ended up inside Elstree
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Old 01-11-2016, 13:43
Alleycat666
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This very clever comment from Juless in the Is Kevin Having a Crisis thread (which has seen discussion amongst other things of why Kevin has started wearing a hat...):

Whaaaaaat.....?

There is no research that I was completing. No hypothesis and no proof. I just commented on Kevin's whereabouts last Saturday because some people on the thread had posted that he was hogging the limelight on Hallowe'en Saturday. That is why I mentioned confirmation bias in that people see what they want to see.

Alternatively Kevin is some kind of Strictly equivalent of Schrodinger's cat, managing to occupy multiple states at one time. He manages to be simultaneously in your face, hogging the limelight, and standing to one side, supporting his co dancers. So maybe it is all down to quantum mechanics.

I'm now leaving this thread since I really have lost the will to live!
Yes but is he a Shrodinger's Cat In A Hat ?
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Old 02-11-2016, 08:06
Alleycat666
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Another gem from Muggsy:

They showed Daisy burping on ITT, so we should have a board load of gastroenterologists favouring us with their diagnoses by bedtime.
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Old 02-11-2016, 09:29
Bouzouki Boy
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Another gem from Muggsy:
Maybe we need a separate thread about Daisy's burping. On second thoughts, maybe not.
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Old 02-11-2016, 11:11
Bouzouki Boy
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I know there are still 13 hours of the day left but this:-

Oh dear I think I'm a misfit. You see I really enjoy watching both Danny and Ore dance. I also enjoy both Laura and Daisy. Then there is Greg and Louise - they are both so nice. Ed and Robert are both such fun to watch. Whatever shall I do?? Can anyone recommend an agony aunt I can consult. I need to find someone, just one someone, to support or hate or get worked up about one way or another. I can't go on liking them all. Yours confused of Strictlyland.
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