Originally Posted by Abomination:
“I think that Series 4 and Series 9 both explored the Doctor doing things without proper regard for the people he was doing them to. Series 4 did it with River, and later Donna. Series 9 did it with Ashildr, and saw the Doctor attempt to repeat it with Clara.
The Donna and Clara parallels were striking - in both cases he intended to wipe their memory of everything they'd done together so that they could live. With little hesitation he did it to Donna against her emotional protestations, and wiped her memory. With Clara he was going to do the same though she managed to argue that she was entitled to her past and would rather die with it in tact (we'll not go into how much of a needless mess Hell Bent made of things though). It might just be coincidence but both stories basically saw the darker side of the Doctor emerging (the so-called Timelord Victorious... I hate that phrase personally)... after losing Donna, the Doctor travelled alone for ages and ultimately strayed into the darker territory that he found himself in The End of Time. And it was the threat of losing Clara as he did that drove him to darker extremes... it just happened that a companion that was the perfect match for him was able to talk him down from that pedestal. But Clara's points seem like a valid argument that technically also apply to Donna as well - she was entitled to her past. And she never got a say, he just took her mind because he couldn't bear for her to die.
And that's also what drives his actions with River and Ashildr. In both cases he immortalises them in some way because as River puts it "he just can't give in". It can be argued that River was still technically dead by the end of the library story - her immortalisation was an actualised virtual version of her, but it wasn't actually her per se. I would say without knowing what an existence (as opposed to a life) inside the library databanks actually entails you cannot say whether or not what he did to River was right or wrong. You can make more convincing arguments where Ashildr is concerned, and where his companions are concerned - Clara ultimately made the argument for us.
RIver's situation is also quite unique because whilst it was the Tenth Doctor who ultimately uploaded her, it was the Twelfth Doctor who enabled that to happen by means of the screwdriver. He had centuries of time to consider this, away from the gut instinct emotional response he had in the moment in the library. Maybe he thought it through more than we ever actually saw, making it less an emotional response than the other examples. Also supported by the fact that the data ghost was again, not technically River herself. He immortalised her in the same (albeit futuristic) way a park bench or an obituary might.
Personal opinion, on the list of things the Doctor has done to those he loves, the way he 'saved' River isn't high on the list of things I think he did wrong. I felt his mistreatment of Martha in his post-Rose-wallowing was worse. His treatment of Donna far more emotional, and Wilf's comments about her looking so sad but not remembering why proof of perhaps why he actually gave her a fate worse than death. His intended treatment of Clara immoral...if also for inflicting us with the curveball plot of Hell Bent.”
Two points that make the points you have raised interesting:
'Clara's points seem like a valid argument that technically also apply to Donna as well - she was entitled to her past. And she never got a say, he just took her mind because he couldn't bear for her to die.'
I would say that what he did to Donna he did to preserve her life; okay she didn't want to forget him but she would have died had he not have done what he did. He had little choice. Clara was slightly different because he had already interfered. I was doing a first aid course today and we were told; if you're performing CPR and you break a rib don't worry, the most important thing is to attempt to preserve the life. I think Donna's situation mirrors this. It was either the memory wipe or death; I'm sure Donna didn't want to die, no matter how much she wanted to remember the Doctor and so I would argue that he didn't carry out an emotional response; simply the most rational response.
Second:
'RIver's situation is also quite unique because whilst it was the Tenth Doctor who ultimately uploaded her, it was the Twelfth Doctor who enabled that to happen by means of the screwdriver. He had centuries of time to consider this, away from the gut instinct emotional response he had in the moment in the library. Maybe he thought it through more than we ever actually saw, making it less an emotional response than the other examples. Also supported by the fact that the data ghost was again, not technically River herself. He immortalised her in the same (albeit futuristic) way a park bench or an obituary might.'
The question is, did he give River the screwdriver to preserve her... or did he give it her because he had already lived through the event and knew that she needed it. Without it she wouldn't have been around for TNOTD and likely countless other events; that means that she HAD to be preserved in the library for him to get to the point of being able to give her the screwdriver. Hence, paradox. He may have actually decided during those centuries that he shouldn't give her the screwdriver, that she would never be truly happy in the library. But he knew that he had to other he may die and completely mess up the timelines. Funny things paradoxes.