I know many non stereotype gay guys. Being into rock there are some I know through there as well. They would rather stick there head through a speaker than listen to Lady Ga Ga.

They do look up to Rob Halford from Judas Priest for having the balls to come out to the heavy metal world. It gave them the confidence to do it themselves.

and going on the opposite I am straight but can be very camp amongst friends.

Yes, all of them. I pretty much only know a small handful of straight people, everyone else is LGB+. The only camp person I know is my heterosexual boyfriend.

The gay people I know do not come across "stereotypically" gay at all.

In fact I have two male friends who are rather camp but they both have girlfriends.

You sound exactly like me. I'm a non-stereotypical gay man and like you, are attracted to straight acting gay men. Femine types have every right to be exactly what they want to be, but if I was attracted to handbags, fashion and makeup, I might as well date a female! It is the manliness that I'm attracted to personally. The trouble is that if a person is not acting stereotypically gay then it's hard to know if the person is gay.

Yes we have a very camp guy at work and all newbies think "Gay!" as soon as they meet him until he mentions his girlfriend and then they exclaim "GIRLFRIEND?!" He is used to it by now.

"Gay male, straight acting, GSOH, own house and car, seeks other gay male for fun times and maybe more" - the type of ad I've noticed in the gay and bi section of the lonely hearts columns, in the free paper for many, many years.

So it rather surprises me that the OP is encountering difficulties - that said, I wouldn't know to be honest.

Is a nurse a gay job?

And no gay man is 'straight acting' with a mouth full of dick so just stop with that dumb shit.

can you like dick and not be gay ?

Liking dick is kinda the point of being gay, surely

The lesbians will be surprised!

Do you actually know any non-stereotypical gay people?

Yes, sigh. I'm gay and non camp but love Kylie and SCD. Doesn't mean I bathe in glitter and go sashaying around Sainsbury's wearing gold hot pants and a feather boa! Although if a gay guy did want to do that then that's fine too!

My niece is a stereotypical gay woman but her girlfriend is not so much so. Two very nice girls.

I am fortunate to have a very wide friendship circle, and consider myself to have many scene and non-scene gay friends, I also have many, many nationalities and creeds within my friendship circle. I don't select my friends based on gender, creed or sexual orientation I am friends with them because they are people I love spending time with and we all get on great. Maybe I'm just very lucky. I think OP you need to broaden your horizons and cast your net further than the internet. You could find yourself in a whole lot of trouble searching via that route. Good luck with your search, and I really hope you meet that special someone real soon

Interesting post, Lil Munchkin. Just out of interest, as you say that the internet is not the best way to meet new people, what other methods have you found to be much more successful?

I guess it's down to the individual really, but anyone, can be anyone on the internet, it's a case of being very vulnerable. You could be talking to anyone, and may end up being very disillusioned, it's also not the safest way. The good old fashioned way that worked before the 'web' came to be is the best way. Go to events, join clubs or groups.. Do courses, or just socialise with the mates you have and get out and have fun. That way the people you meet, you see, and get a 'feel' of (not literally !!!! That'll probably get you a smack in the mouth ) But you'll establish a connection or rapport, and pick up the vibes. You'll also establish attractions and chemistry when it comes to looking for potential future partners.

I do see your point, but I have been very grateful for the internet. I've really struggled to meet enough decent people in real life, but on the web, I've been able to seek out people on various forums over the years that really get things I've been through. It's been a massive help to find people expressing the very feelings that I feel.

Also, it's really difficult just to go out and meet people by yourself when you're shy or lack social confidence (as many people do). The longer you leave it, the scarier it gets to do that. And not everyone has many friends to begin with, so they feel like they're at a dead end.

On the internet, you can gradually get to meet people and you don't get written off in the way that all too often happens in everyday life. So it's a lifeline for the socially awkward among us who are often better at written than verbal communication.

I do understand completely, and that is why I said it's down to the individual. Don't get me wrong the internet has it's place, and it can be great, but it's always more difficult when you are chatting to people online as you can open up, and tell so much to someone, and then chat for ages, meet and there be no 'spark'. Or they can just stop talking to you, an then you end up confused and let down wondering where they went.

My Nonna says every pan has a lid, you'll find your lid or pan one day. There are actually groups for socially awkward people now days, which surprises many, but there's lots of people who struggle and they have every right to be entitled to meet people in an environment where they are all in the same boat. They are actually quite good, and the facilitators do the 'ice breaking' through really sensitive ways so peole feel comfortable and take things at their own pace.

Ultimately you must do what is right for you, and if you are looking for matches on the net, you need to be looking for males who describe themselves as non-scene if that's the attraction for you. There's lots out there trust me. Good luck xx

There is some really good advice in your post on this thread LM.

Sounds like Femmephobia to me. Is that a word? Well it is now!

That's precisely what I said back in Post 11.

I don't think the circle of friends you have is down to luck. I think it's because you've clearly got a well balanced view of relationships and you see people for who and what they are.

People seldom fit into the stereotypes that society creates for them. The image of the limp-wristed, bouffanted, hairdresser as being the "typical" gay man is just wrong. True, there are some people in the world who are like that, but then, does that make them bad people..? I don't think so.

And those who the description does fit, are more likely to be gentle, caring souls who you would like to spend your time with for their wit, sense of fun and all round laid back bonhomie.

You sound to me like the sort of person who sees beneath the surface and it's nice (not to mention rare) to see on here.

The OP hasn't come back to this thread, but my invitation (back in post 11) to PM me if he had any further questions, has been picked up on by a couple of other posters on here and I'm giving the best advice I can to those people away from the glare of the message boards.

I live in what might be described as a very 'arty' place, with a lng history of it. Possibly as a result of that, we do seem to have a lot of gay people. However, I've only ever seen one obviously camp couple, and they were so 'out there' it was amazing. Pink VW Beetle convertible and matching lapdogs. But that's 2 out of the hundreds I see, visitors and locals. I don't think your stereotypical gay image is all that common. The only way to tell normally is if 2 same sex people are holding hands. So I'd agree that simply getting out and making friends is the way to go. Perhaps the apps are inhabited by a high proportion of camp people.

I do not think you are lucky. I think you are just very good at understanding the way people are and act upon it. You have a beautiful clear and concise way of presenting your thoughts which is always good.

As Jack Nicklaus once said "The more I practice the luckier I get"

It's a toughie,you're looking for a Village People type,and end up keep meeting Bobbie from TOWIE types

yes, thank god, the ott in yer face gays are a minority it seems.

I personally wouldn't worry about stereotypes.
we all fit into various stereotypes, regardless of gender, sexuality, race. region, dialect etc.

As a gay man, yes I love a musical and I love (Kate Bush, Kylie & Madonna) but that's not because I am gay. I also like gaming. I own a PS4 & Xbox 360. I go to the gym, I go for runs, love English Heritage sites, massive horror film fan.
I don't do drugs, never smoked, don't wear makeup or crazy outfits.

I just like to think of myself simply as ME.
We are all different but we share similar interests.

My boyfriend and I love going to shows on the West End and The National Theatre. We sing show tunes in the car occasionally, when I am not playing Kate Bush
We don't skip around sprinkling glitter everywhere or come across as 'obviously gay'... Until we hold hands or share a quick kiss in public.

We are just comfortable in who we are and just live our lives. I think people really worry too much about stereotypes.