Do you mean like a gay person (man) who is not bitchy, camp and self obsessed OP?

All the gay men I know are 'straight'-looking/acting, and have jobs like bus driver, builder, accountant... and other non-sterotypical jobs. And I don't know any who are into Lady Ga Ga/Kylie-type pop music. Some of them (not all) go to 'Bear' clubs so that's another stereotype I suppose, just not a camp one. They're not Muscle Marys either, just average looking blokes.

I think the camp stereotype is just the tip of the iceberg - there are many more gay people out there that are 'invisible', so to speak.

I was at a gay bar in Colchester once and two bikers turned up. They had beards, long hair, dressed in leathers, aged about 40-45. They looked like they would beat up gays. They walked in holding hands. You will find a lot of camp men in gay pubs but you'll also find a lot who aren't. I suppose the camp ones make a lot of noise and so get noticed more.

Some of the OTT's are actually straight in my hyper trendy area of London

and is it just me, but how many boys looking for boyfriends on Tinder have pictures that look like them with girlfriends especially on links to instagram (I acknowledge it maybe just friend who is girl - but that isn't the vibe I pick up).

A lot of people tell me I just don't come across as gay, that is until they learn my music preferences haha.

I do like Gaga, Britney, Little Mix etc. But I also like Coldplay, OneRepublic, Texas etc, so does it class as stereotype? Who knows!

if there are any

they do not exist on tv...

Tony Hills on Eastenders wasn't camp.

When I was in hospital there was a gay guy (not that we knew it) in our ward and we chatted and whatever and it was only when his BF caused a right royal rumble demanding to be allowed into the ward and caused all sorts of hassle for the staff that we found out he was gay, the rest of use gave him some consolation and a few hugs and that was that.

Didn't seen anything other than an ISO standard human male before that and afterwards either.

It should be said that i've sold plenty of gay magazines when we had a newsagents and you can't always tell a persons preference when they're off to work etc and start looking at the top shelf.

Know? I've dated a few.

No. Hating or disliking something is totally different to just not gaining any sexual attraction from it.

So gaining no sexual attraction to a female or anything that is like a female does not mean a hatred or even a dislike for women or feminine things.

Put simply, it just does nothing for me.

I've got a lesbian friend - and there's nothing about her that suggests so.

I forgot I made this thread. Wow, a very interesting and insightful read. Thanks to everyone who replied and offered encouragment and advice.

In my admittedly rather limited contact with gay people in real life, every single gay man I've encountered has had the "gay voice" and been camp but I don't doubt I've met without knowing it gay men who don't conform to the stereotype.

I mentioned him earlier but Rob Halford does not come across as camp at all. He is very Brummie though. Yes his outfits were a bit of a giveaway at times but when he sings he is not gay at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Fl7yNIPlGM

Tv is not a good example, have you ever seen tv lesbians?

I hear Ronnie Kray made Mr Humphries look like Sonny Liston!

Cue the Robert Dyas TV ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YS2dSa-Ud0

Same here – I haven't come across (no pun intended) many gay males, but I can't think of even one of them who didn't conform to the stereotype in some way. The lesbians I know of seem to be absolutely no different to any other women, although I must admit that the local barber shop has a few regular ladies adopting the Tweed and brogues look and who go in there for a man's haircut.

The best TV programme for gay-spotters is Location, Location, Location, which seems to have a quota for gay couples that is far above the national average. You wouldn't notice anything different about most of them, although the men often seem to be just a bit weird.

[quote=barbeler;84453106]Same here – I haven't come across (no pun intended) many gay males, but I can't think of even one of them who didn't conform to the stereotype in some way.


This is it basically. Although there have been countless responses to this thread already with people saying they know gay rugby players or gay friends who you would "never suspect" to be gay, I've found there is always a giveaway in my experience. The "voice", the career, the personality, the flamboyance, the fashion, the music taste, the lack of interest in sports or cars, the social life etc. I've been told to stay off dating apps and the Internet in the hope of finding someone but it's not exactly like I can approach any guys in the street and ask them if they're gay or not and hope they'll be interested. This isn't the same as guys chatting up girls. There's been tons of social experiments on YouTube of guys approaching guys and asking them on a date and 99% of them have ended up in aggression or embarrassment or extreme awkwardness.

for someone who claims 'noone cares' you seem to post quite a bit in threads about gay men. Something you want to tell us?

and you need to learn about 'internalised homophobia' because, boy, have you got it bad.

. The most camp guy I know is also hetero.
He is so camp he had to 'come in' to his parents when he was 19. He simply could not convince them that he wasn't gay.

Where did you make that connection with the post you quoted?

I was expressing frustration at how minimal the chances are of meeting someone a) who I'm attracted to and b) who is also gay. I didn't say anything homophobic or anything against being gay in general.

This, as an older gay man who tends towards the bearish crowd, there's equally a lot of inverted snobbery and bitchiness towards younger slimmer men. There does seem to be some hyper focus on the physical and attitude and not the person. I don't think that's a gay thing I think that tends to be a male thing if anything.

I'm attracted to that type of rugged stocky straight looking look myself, can't help that, but I'm friends with all types of people, but shallow bitchy gay men come in all shapes and sizes and degrees of macho.

Has he?