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ED Ashley's story |
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 859
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ED Ashley's story
I feel the Ashley storyline is so well done and original for a soap. I feel the actor who plays Ashley is so good as I feel sympathy for the character and really highlights the struggles of people with dementia and their family members.
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#2 |
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 43,573
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Quote:
I feel the Ashley storyline is so well done and original for a soap. I feel the actor who plays Ashley is so good as I feel sympathy for the character and really highlights the struggles of people with dementia and their family members.
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,931
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I agree. Really well developed storyline and wonderful acting.
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#4 |
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,952
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Quote:
It's probably the storyline I am most interested in at the moment. I agree overall that it has been handled well, although there are times when the actor who plays Ashley doesn't really get it right, for example when he was knocking lumps out of the video camera - that was not naturalistic at all. Still, it's a heartbreaking story and overall it's very moving. The episode where Emma was deliberately messing with Ashley's head was so upsetting and so cruel, but brilliantly written and acted.
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#5 |
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: woking
Posts: 21,681
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Quote:
Many people with dementia do act in a quite exaggerated fashion. I remember my grandfather used to stamp his feet dramatically and his thump his knees in frustration when he didn't get his own way, like a little boy. Even his language would sometimes come across as childlike.
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#6 |
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 485
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My father-in-law had vascular dementia which is the same as Ashley's and he could be very violent, pushing and shoving and using foul language and then in ten minutes time it would be all forgotten so yes, in my limited experience, this was true to the horrible condition and I think John Middleton is doing a fantastic job.
It is just awful for those who have to stand by and watch and care. |
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#7 |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 23,466
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Quote:
Many people with dementia do act in a quite exaggerated fashion. I remember my grandfather used to stamp his feet dramatically and his thump his knees in frustration when he didn't get his own way, like a little boy. Even his language would sometimes come across as childlike.
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 248
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Once my nana lost the plot, she wouldn't even venture out of her bedroom. She would have the TV on as background, but when we went in to see her and switched the telly off, she would say 'thank god them lot have gone, they wouldn't shut up and were doing my head in'. She also became completely tactless and would literally just say whatever came into her head - which could be quite amusing on occasions. She once asked 'who's the lass with the big fat legs?' and unfortunately for my mum, it was her (she didn't have particularly fat legs).
The worst periods are the periods of lucidity where they realise what is happening but are powerless to stop it. Luckily it was only six months of my nana's life and she was 83 when she died. It must be awful for people who live with it for years (the sufferers and their families). What is making the story a tad unwatchable for me is Laurel. Could she be any more of a martyr? Why would she think she has the skills to look after him correctly? It made me laugh when she questioned the experience of the staff at the day care. I would imagine they have a few years' experience on her. Personally, I've never liked Ashley's character. I always thought he was a bit naive and a bit of a ditherer. I only started watching Emmerdale again during the Sally Spode episode and he didn't exactly cover himself in glory then. |
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,952
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Quote:
Once my nana lost the plot, she wouldn't even venture out of her bedroom. She would have the TV on as background, but when we went in to see her and switched the telly off, she would say 'thank god them lot have gone, they wouldn't shut up and were doing my head in'. She also became completely tactless and would literally just say whatever came into her head - which could be quite amusing on occasions. She once asked 'who's the lass with the big fat legs?' and unfortunately for my mum, it was her (she didn't have particularly fat legs).
The worst periods are the periods of lucidity where they realise what is happening but are powerless to stop it. Luckily it was only six months of my nana's life and she was 83 when she died. It must be awful for people who live with it for years (the sufferers and their families). What is making the story a tad unwatchable for me is Laurel. Could she be any more of a martyr? Why would she think she has the skills to look after him correctly? It made me laugh when she questioned the experience of the staff at the day care. I would imagine they have a few years' experience on her. Personally, I've never liked Ashley's character. I always thought he was a bit naive and a bit of a ditherer. I only started watching Emmerdale again during the Sally Spode episode and he didn't exactly cover himself in glory then. |
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#10 |
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 248
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Quote:
Yeah but you usually find that the loved ones struggle to really cope with the gravity of the situation and in turn kind of make things worse. I remember my mother being just like Laurel, she did EVERYTHING for my Grandad and would sit worrying aimlessly if any of my other relatives took him even for a walk. She refused external care providers on the basis that my Grandad would be confused being surrounded by strangers, when half the time his whole bloody family were strangers to him!!
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#11 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 7,951
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On one occasion my (late) grandfather dropped a cup of tea on the floor and he went crazy, stamped his feet, yelled at me and my mum to clean it up then started crying . It was frightening.
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#12 |
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: woking
Posts: 21,681
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I don't think laurel believes the staff can't look after him what she is getting at is she wants him loved like she loves him. My husbands late aunt was exactly the same, she tried to do everything for her husband even after he started hitting out, she was convinced he needed her love and no one else could give him that. Sadly by then he didn't even know what love was all he wanted was his food and tv.
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,952
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Quote:
I don't think laurel believes the staff can't look after him what she is getting at is she wants him loved like she loves him. My husbands late aunt was exactly the same, she tried to do everything for her husband even after he started hitting out, she was convinced he needed her love and no one else could give him that. Sadly by then he didn't even know what love was all he wanted was his food and tv.
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#14 |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 23,466
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Quote:
Yeah but you usually find that the loved ones struggle to really cope with the gravity of the situation and in turn kind of make things worse. I remember my mother being just like Laurel, she did EVERYTHING for my Grandad and would sit worrying aimlessly if any of my other relatives took him even for a walk. She refused external care providers on the basis that my Grandad would be confused being surrounded by strangers, when half the time his whole bloody family were strangers to him!!
He would let my Mum take over so we went over every weekend to give him a break, Dad would take Granddad out with my brother and I leaving Mum with Grandma. Mum was still working full time as a teacher though, we lived 30 miles away and the rest of the family was 250 miles away so it wasn't easy. |
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#15 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5,175
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This is the best written, acted and produced storyline I have watched. in a soap. Heartbreaking, but compelling to watch. Well done everybody concerned.
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 12,535
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to Quote:
Well, Laurel may be half right. There is a lot of evidence to suggest that being surrounded by familiarity and routine helps to keep sufferers lucid. I remember a documentary a few years ago where an old lady in a fairly dingy old home, had her husband come in every single day and go through memory books and photos, and talk to her about the things she used to enjoy. It showed that it kept her quite sharp, even though she sometimes hadn't a clue what he was talking about, the one on one time he gave her seemed to really help. He'd allowed her to go there purely because he was too frail to deal with her complex personal care, but he went in every single day to see her, compared to other members of the home who were literally plonked in a chair by the telly all day long with no one to talk to.
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#17 |
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 12,535
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I wonder if Laurel's in denial about just how much he's s deteriorating. She's s possibly not ready to accept that he' s already at at the stage of needing to use the day centre.I can't t blame her for that, she's coming closer and closer to losing him. Then if you add in to the mix that probably she'll feel like she's s failing and letting him down...Poor Laurel
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 118
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My dad had vascular dementia just like Ashley he loved day care he seemed to feel it was his work place and enjoyed that he went independently.
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#19 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 485
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Quote:
My dad had vascular dementia just like Ashley he loved day care he seemed to feel it was his work place and enjoyed that he went independently.
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#20 |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 23,466
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Quote:
to Reminiscence projects are quite popular with Alzheimer's s groups and care homes too - getting people to talk prompted by museum artefacts ( like toys or household goods from the past) or old photographs.Alan also kept Myra with him at home for 7 years caring full time although he did get help in form of a cleaner and gardener and she died suddenly when she'd gone into respite care for just a week as he needed to ho into Hospital for an operation. It was medical, an infection but odd how it coincided with that change in her routine. |
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#21 |
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 12,535
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Quote:
Yes, my godmother had Alzheimers and my Godfather showed me a montage he'd made of their wedding photos morphing into their Golden Wedding anniversary photos with each person named (including my mum who was their bridesmaud) so she could remember and then relate them to the present.
Alan also kept Myra with him at home for 7 years caring full time although he did get help in form of a cleaner and gardener and she died suddenly when she'd gone into respite care for just a week as he needed to ho into Hospital for an operation. It was medical, an infection but odd how it coincided with that change in her routine. |
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#22 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 43,573
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Quote:
Many people with dementia do act in a quite exaggerated fashion. I remember my grandfather used to stamp his feet dramatically and his thump his knees in frustration when he didn't get his own way, like a little boy. Even his language would sometimes come across as childlike.
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#23 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 23,466
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It is incredibly hard on relatives emotionally and practically. Once old enough to not need to work so have full time care to devite, the carers physical health might not be up to it. The next generation down are physically fitter and hopefully more emotionally resilient but they have full time jobs and often children to raise as well as nurse parents.
Not Dementia but my elderly next door neighbour has been diagnosed with Terminal Lung Cancer and they asked me to witness his will this evening. So sad to see him like that as he us clearly scared fir his wife after he's gone, never mind hisown death. |
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#24 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 23,466
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My sympathies and good wishes to anybody that has gone through this or is currently going through this re caring for or suffering dementia themselves
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#25 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: N Ireland
Posts: 1,881
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I know someone who has vascular dementia, he went from being a bright interesting person to being in many ways childlike. This happened over a period of years, he seemed happy enough living at home with his wife, but then quite suddenly his personality seemed to change, he became suspicious and easily angered and actually hit his wife on at least 2 occasions. His wife knows it's just part of the illness, but obviously she's worried in case he lashes out again. If things get worse she knows she'll have to at least consider residential care for him, but I know she hopes this won't be necessary. It's a very sad situation, and in Emmerdale I think the actor who plays Ashley is doing a terrific job of showing the host of problems that this illness can bring.
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