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EE: Is it about time Lee manned-up?
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Ten_Ben
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by priscilla:
“What he needs to do is leave already! Why do they annouce exits so early then makes us wait forever until it actually happens. I thought his wedding would be the last we see of him.”

IIRC it's supposed to be early next year, however let's not forget, in amongst all the talk of suicide, that the original announcements did indicate that he may return in due course:
http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-...ave-eastenders

Could be a total red herring, of course.
dickronson
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Clackers:
“He is being harrassed and humiliated by that Oz guy which is a blatant discretion of the Health and Safety at Work Act, 1974, not to mention being discriminated against by a boss who spies on him on social media.

If my boss did that I would tell him to F off and walk out. Lee needs to man -up before he loses Whitney.”

Lees boss hasn't done anything wrong? Lee lied, he's lucky he didn't get the sack.
T.K. Mazin
17-11-2016
Probably not the wisest choice of words from the OP, but I think he/she is merely frustrated on the part of Lee and seeing him being bullied/treated like crap. Depression affects different people in different ways of course and Lee's current mindset is that of a man who is at his lowest ebb in terms of self-esteem and self-worth. He is literally paralysed by the depression, and therefore he does not have the mental or emotional capacity at this time to defend himself from bullies like Oz. Imagine yourself in his shoes with that fragile state of mind and working in a strange environment where you don't quite fit in, would you be able to "man up" so easily?

Either way, I hope Lee swings for that Oz bloke at some point and anyone else who picks on him. He needs to put those Army skills to use .
_elly001
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by dickronson:
“Lees boss hasn't done anything wrong? Lee lied, he's lucky he didn't get the sack.”

I didn't think Lee's boss had done anything wrong in the first episode but since then he's proved himself to be a bully and not the type of person who should be managing a team. He humiliated that poor girl in front of the rest of the team, overlooked the fact that Oz was out of his seat and clearly taunting Lee (and then had a go at Lee afterwards for no particular reason) and just generally doesn't create a decent working environment. No wonder staff turnover is so high in call centres if that's the way managers go about managing staff.
priscilla
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ten_Ben:
“IIRC it's supposed to be early next year, however let's not forget, in amongst all the talk of suicide, that the original announcements did indicate that he may return in due course:
http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-...ave-eastenders

Could be a total red herring, of course.”

Thanks I think he'll just disappear.
ArthurJBear
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Clackers:
“He is being harrassed and humiliated by that Oz guy which is a blatant discretion of the Health and Safety at Work Act, 1974, not to mention being discriminated against by a boss who spies on him on social media.

If my boss did that I would tell him to F off and walk out. Lee needs to man -up before he loses Whitney.”

Nice to see that the depression storyline is still going over the heads of the Neanderthals on this forum.
Paul Wilson
17-11-2016
Maybe the OP chose the wrong words but are some of the antagonistic responses on here really necessary? If the OP is ignorant of depression, aren't many people? They were asking a genuine question it seemed to me,
Broken_Arrow
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Paul Wilson:
“Maybe the OP chose the wrong words but are some of the antagonistic responses on here really necessary? If the OP is ignorant of depression, aren't many people? They were asking a genuine question it seemed to me,”

It's 2016. The pinnacle of the "I have a right to be offended by everything" era.
silly sausage
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Clackers:
“If you suffer from depression and your work colleagues are deliberately making it worse, then you will have grounds for constructive dismissal when you leave. Why is Lee being such a puzzie and allowing his colleagues and boss to walk all over him?”

because he has depression, and that erodes any self worth or confidence you have. There's nothing puzzling about it. He's ill. He doesn't believe he's worth very much and he's trying to hang on to Whitney because he loves her. I don't understand what you find puzzling about it
Yoshi Fan
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by _elly001:
“Hell yeah, it's time he manned* up!

*M-anage to open up about how he's feeling with a relative who loves him
A-dmit that he needs help
N-ot put unnecessary pressure on himself due to society's ridiculous enforcement of gender roles
N-ever listen to people who say things like 'man up' to a man with depression
E-ducate himself on the help he can receive from his GP.
D-ecide to take small, manageable steps on his road to recovery, one day at a time.

Manning up is the best!”

Originally Posted by _elly001:
“Thank you! I thought of it myself in response to Clackers' post, which annoyed me immensely. I'm relieved that people liked it and didn't think I was being offensive. ”

Quite possibly the best post I've ever read on this forum. *applauds*
Mer~maid
17-11-2016
What I don't understand about the storyline is why he doesn't say he is working in a call centre? I get that he's depressed and his self esteem is at rock bottom, but why lie about some high powered city job?
_elly001
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Yoshi Fan:
“Quite possibly the best post I've ever read on this forum. *applauds* ”

Thank you, that's lovely of you to say.
19carlymarie88
17-11-2016
I get the sentiments behind the OP as it certainly winds me up that he doesn't stand up for himself.

But I also think that might be the point of the storyline. Lee clearly thinks he is worth nothing etc and no one else can see the trouble he is going through, which makes it so frustrating because we as viewers see it is so blindingly obvious. I'd love to give that Oz or his boss a piece of my mind!

So either the writers are getting a reaction from us deliberately and it is all part of the plan to feel more for Lee and his struggle to cope and feeling alone.....or we have all bought into it way more than the writers have expected and are taking the credit for it!
Alex_Sullivan
17-11-2016
Doesn't he have military training?
If he pinned this Oz bloke to the ground in the car park, stood on his head for a moment or two and made it clear that he will not be trifled with.
The mental health matters are the hard part, but physically, I would have thought Lee had what it took to give his tormentors a bit of a scare
Ancalagon
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Paul Wilson:
“Maybe the OP chose the wrong words but are some of the antagonistic responses on here really necessary? If the OP is ignorant of depression, aren't many people? They were asking a genuine question it seemed to me,”

I think you are being naive to be honest. He called lee a pussy that needs to man up?? (though he spelt Pussy wrong)

That's not just being ignorant it's being purposely offensive in order to get a reaction- the fact the OP hasn't clarified his initial post or anything either doesn't help.
Ten_Ben
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Alex_Sullivan:
“Doesn't he have military training?
If he pinned this Oz bloke to the ground in the car park, stood on his head for a moment or two and made it clear that he will not be trifled with.
The mental health matters are the hard part, but physically, I would have thought Lee had what it took to give his tormentors a bit of a scare”

He does have military training but he's never really been shown to have any aggession and I guess his depression has knocked any aggression he did have for six, along with his confidence. Yes, he shows his temper on occasions but most of the time he actively avoids any confrontation. Look at how he reacted to the (slightly) rowdy drinkers in the Vic the other week when Mick and Linda left him in charge. Who sorted them out? Whitney.
Ancalagon
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ten_Ben:
“He does have military training but he's never really been shown to have any aggession and I guess his depression has knocked any aggression he did have for six, along with his confidence. Yes, he shows his temper on occasions but most of the time he actively avoids any confrontation. Look at how he reacted to the (slightly) rowdy drinkers in the Vic the other week when Mick and Linda left him in charge. Who sorted them out? Whitney.”

Well except for the time he beat the living daylights out of Ben, accidentally punched Nancy and also beat up Dean!

I agree though his mental illness would have destroyed his self confidence/worth.
kitkat1971
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Mer~maid:
“What I don't understand about the storyline is why he doesn't say he is working in a call centre? I get that he's depressed and his self esteem is at rock bottom, but why lie about some high powered city job?”

Because he thinks that if his family know the truth they will see him as a failure or disappointment as they keep going on about how proud they are of him for doing so well, getting such a great job and earning so much money.

He also keeps havibg people say that Whitney is too good gor him. Clearly they mean it as a joke (except perhaps that bloke at work), it's just the kind of thing lads do say to each other if their girlfriend/wife is very pretty to tease and congratulate in a backhanded way but he's taken it to heart. He thinks that if he can't be a success for Whitney and give her all the things she 'deserves', shecwill realise she is too good for him and leave him.

Depression isn't rational. He us not thinking or judging sutuations rationally either at home or work.
kitkat1971
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ten_Ben:
“He does have military training but he's never really been shown to have any aggession and I guess his depression has knocked any aggression he did have for six, along with his confidence. Yes, he shows his temper on occasions but most of the time he actively avoids any confrontation. Look at how he reacted to the (slightly) rowdy drinkers in the Vic the other week when Mick and Linda left him in charge. Who sorted them out? Whitney.”

Which dented hus self worth even more. He feels utterly useless whilst others, including his bride, effortlessly shine. Or so it will seem to him.
kitkat1971
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Alex_Sullivan:
“Doesn't he have military training?
If he pinned this Oz bloke to the ground in the car park, stood on his head for a moment or two and made it clear that he will not be trifled with.
The mental health matters are the hard part, but physically, I would have thought Lee had what it took to give his tormentors a bit of a scare”

Oz is also probabky savvy enough to report Lee to their boss or even the Police.

His depression or bullying in the office wouldn't prevent a tribunal and maybe Assault charges.

I know somebody that physically lashed out at a colleague who had been vetbally tormenting him and he was sacked for gross misconduct.

Physical Assaults are never tolerated if witnessed or reported.
_elly001
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ancalagon:
“Well except for the time he beat the living daylights out of Ben, accidentally punched Nancy and also beat up Dean!

I agree though his mental illness would have destroyed his self confidence/worth.”

Ageed, Lee absolutely has a violent side. I think people forget how gregarious and lively he was when he first turned up, such is the extent of his depression nowadays (another reason why I think Danny Boy deserves all the praise for his portrayal.)

I do actually wonder if his violent side could emerge again. The way he snapped at Johnny in Tuesday's episode makes me think he could maybe lash out at him one day and lose any support he might have had from his family. Or he might just completely lose it at work one day and beat Oz up and then face a lawsuit which leads to his exit. At the moment it feels it's all bottling up inside of him and I think if he reaches breaking point he could potentially do something quite shocking.
Ten_Ben
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ancalagon:
“Well except for the time he beat the living daylights out of Ben, accidentally punched Nancy and also beat up Dean!

I agree though his mental illness would have destroyed his self confidence/worth.”

Originally Posted by _elly001:
“Ageed, Lee absolutely has a violent side. I think people forget how gregarious and lively he was when he first turned up, such is the extent of his depression nowadays (another reason why I think Danny Boy deserves all the praise for his portrayal.)

I do actually wonder if his violent side could emerge again. The way he snapped at Johnny in Tuesday's episode makes me think he could maybe lash out at him one day and lose any support he might have had from his family. Or he might just completely lose it at work one day and beat Oz up and then face a lawsuit which leads to his exit. At the moment it feels it's all bottling up inside of him and I think if he reaches breaking point he could potentially do something quite shocking.”

Which is why I said he does have a temper. That's always going to be there but Lee currently is far from the person he was when he first turned up, beating up Ben and getting chucked out of the army for violence. Depression does that to people. I'll pass on the Dean attack - depressed or not, violent or not - I think many people would react like that in those circumstances.

The problem is the lack of self-worth, the lack of self-confidence and the not bothering/procrastinating thanks to the depression. He'll react if he's provoked enough but he's also trying to avoid those situations.
_elly001
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ten_Ben:
“Which is why I said he does have a temper. That's always going to be there but Lee currently is far from the person he was when he first turned up, beating up Ben and getting chucked out of the army for violence. Depression does that to people. I'll pass on the Dean attack - depressed or not, violent or not - I think many people would react like that in those circumstances.

The problem is the lack of self-worth, the lack of self-confidence and the not bothering/procrastinating thanks to the depression. He'll react if he's provoked enough but he's also trying to avoid those situations.”

Agreed, Lee wasn't the person he was when he first arrived. He has deteriorated massively since then and I'm actually quite shocked his family can't see it for what it is.

I also agree about his lack of self-worth. I think a lot of it is to do with him, on some level, feeling like he deserves to be treated badly at work. A form of self-punishment, in a way, for the way he's feeling and the lies he's telling. But you're right, he'll presumably react if he's provoked enough (like last week when he squared up to Oz for making lewd comments about Whitney.)
Ten_Ben
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by _elly001:
“Agreed, Lee wasn't the person he was when he first arrived. He has deteriorated massively since then and I'm actually quite shocked his family can't see it for what it is.

I also agree about his lack of self-worth. I think a lot of it is to do with him, on some level, feeling like he deserves to be treated badly at work. A form of self-punishment, in a way, for the way he's feeling and the lies he's telling. But you're right, he'll presumably react if he's provoked enough (like last week when he squared up to Oz for making lewd comments about Whitney.)”

Yes because in his mind it validates how he's feeling so it's an ever-decreasing circle which he's not going to get out of on his own. Not that he realises that, of course, and he won't anytime soon unless he lets someone in.
vald
17-11-2016
Originally Posted by Ten_Ben:
“Yes because in his mind it validates how he's feeling so it's an ever-decreasing circle which he's not going to get out of on his own. Not that he realises that, of course, and he won't anytime soon unless he lets someone in.”

He has tried to open up to Mick on a couple of occasions. The first time was over the abortion and the second over the wedding. He even tried to tell someone (I can't remember who) about his fear of being in large gatherings of people. Unfortunately they just brushed them off as the normal everyday worrying that we all do...they have no idea of the depth of anxiety and despair that is experienced with depression.
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