It has everything to do with the fact that there's a small minority of people who insinuate/imply/impute paedophilic intent to totally innocent people in totally innocent circumstances - more than that, when they're trying to be useful and helpful. There are other, similar links to that effect on this thread too.

Didn't a newspaper say that as a man, you should seek assistance from a woman in helping a lost child? Its been some years since I read (or heard) it so I'm not sure of the source but its always struck me as being a tragic sign of the times.

I walk my dogs past a primary school in the afternoons and one time saw a little girl, too young to be a pupil there, walking alone down the pavement and crying her eyes out. I did ask some passing mothers if she was with them but not a single one bothered to stop and help. Feeling the need to help after a minute or two I asked her if she was lost (she nodded yes) and told her to walk alongside me back to the school as I figured they would know the parents in the area.

Suddenly a young couple come marching around the corner of a lane way, the mother talking on her phone about getting drunk and the dad rushing over to me and asking what the hell I was doing with his kid. I told them what happened but they didn't care to listen and were instead starting to shout me down. Thankfully a school person had seen what happened and came out to defend me until the parents snatched their child and stormed off.

I'm not accusing all parents of being like that, or that it was a common occurrence, but it does happen and it can be very frightening. All I wanted to do is help the child to safety, but I felt that as a man, the parents automatically assumed the wrong and were starting to jump to all sorts of accusations in public. I'd still help a child if it happened again but I certainly don't blame others for being cautious.

Unless the child is in mortal danger the thing as a male is to ring 999 and get the police out and be done with it, a few tears is fine as i'll stay 30ft away.

People say stupid things in confrontational situations all the time. Believe me I've regularly been called all the names under the sun. There is a big difference in a confrontational situation as you've posted and helping out a child. Saying such things on camera just makes her look foolish, nobody would believe the man was a paedophile as a result of the film.

Fair enough if you're not the type to help others, but I think it's pretty sad that some men would be too scared to help out a child, just because they have such an IMO inane fear of being branded a paedophile.

What horrible people. That poor kid
You did the right thing though

Yes I would agree. I would phone the police if it came to it (calls are recorded) and get their express permission to approach the child until they arrived.

That's condescending. What most men have said here is that they are the type to help others but they would take steps to find assistance or a companion before they went to help a child that was on its own. Either that or they would alert the authorities and ask their permission to intervene.

In the line of work I am in I had a colleague who was wrongly accused, simply because he had not observed the workplace protocol of *never* being alone with a child without another adult or other children present.
He was exonerated but it had dramatic effects on his mental and physical health, and in the end he did have to leave to work elsewhere because of the persistence of the 'no smoke without fire' vibe.

Perhaps speak to people like him before you dismiss their experiences as 'inane'.

The thing is you can then tell the officer a bit of background story and then move on knowing you are safe and so is the kid, also the best part is if the parents turn up they're hardly going to start calling a police officer a nonce.

I'd help a lost child, and have done once in the past, a toddler walking through a supermarket car park (was separated from his mother in the store). When reunited she didn't give a shit that he had wandered off.

I'd hate the thought of people ignoring my own kids if they got lost, so wouldn't ignore someone else's. If someone reacted badly to me helping them, then that says more about their minds than anyone else's.

Exactly. It's perverse. But guess who the police would believe if it came to that.

I once caught a child that had tripped and would have fallen into the road of i hadn't acted. With the dirty look the Mother gave me you'd think I'd slapped the kid Not so much as a thanks, just a how dare you touch my child look. Still wouldn't stop me doing it again though. Better to get a dirty look than have a child flattened by a bus.

I mean the situation is sad, that some men feel that way, not that the men themselves are sad for feeling that way. I've also said previously that going for assistance is also helping, even if they didn't want to deal with it directly.

I just don't think that men should feel like they are unable to help out a child in need, would rather walk on by and do nothing, just because of a tiny minority of cases where strangers maybe wrongly accused. Helping people is more important than buying into the odd gutter press news story, or thinking you'd be branded a paedophile on FB.

I'd help your kids if I found one injured or lost. I'd hope others would do the same for mine.

I'd hope it would be clear or seen for what it is. But still, I wouldn't leave a kid wandering around lost.



^ this. If the parents an idiot then that's the parents problem.

bib - me neither, but then I'm female!

It may be seen as an overreaction by some of the male FMs on here, but on the other hand there's a lot of overreaction going around these days and it's sad that some men are even feeling they can't help or feel uncomfortable helping, it's sad that it's even a topic.

Would I save a kid from being run over...yes

Would I approach the same kid say on in a car park looking sad/lost...no, All i'd do is ring up 999 and let them deal with it and probably its the better cause of action. The mobile phone is a great tool and since 999 is free even if you don't have any credit.

In the 70s, I asked to leave school early once, in The City, (aged 7 or 8). I was quite ill with some bug.

I queued for the bus in Fenchurch St, but it was a very hot day and the traffic jam and noise and fumes got to me and I went and curled up in a closed doorway.

A pin-striped, Bowler Hatted, Umbrella carrying man (mid 40s?), also queuing for the bus, spotted this, and came to ask if I was alright.

He was the only one out of a big bus queue who did so. The others continued scanning the road and the jam for their bus.

He hailed a Black cab and took me to my home, 2 miles or so, across London Bridge.

I knew about Stranger Danger, but was past caring, I really was ill.

He was nice as pie, and my Mum was so embarassed and full of thanks

He declined her offer of Taxi money, but must have given her some personal details.

My Mum sent a big, expensive Interflora Bouquet to him and his wife.

It must have been a right hassle for the guy, when all he wanted to do was get home himself.


But isn't that the way societies are supposed to work!

Very proud of my Mum doing the right things too.

Your friend did the right thing and I think a nasty stare from the parents shouldn't stop anyone doing what is the morally correct thing in that same situation. I can also kind of understand the parents reaction a mixture of not knowing whether the person was helping or luring and probably guilt for thinking maybe they hadn't been paying enough attention. 5 minutes later when the parent had processed the events they were probably beating themselves up for behaving how they did.

I reckon that's easy to say when one hasn't been subjected to it.
Also I think very very few people would be callous enough to do absolutely nothing to help. They would just take steps to cover themselves before intervening, which I think is very wise.

That's lovely - a heartwarming account.

There's a totally different mindset today.

Subject to what exactly? Being called a paedophile for helping a sick or lost child? What do you think helping entails exactly?

I would view it as helping them.
However what I view in all good faith as help, others, including parents might view as a predatory move.
And a panicking parent, beside themselves with worry that their child is lost mightn't be at their most rational when they then see their child with a stranger.
That's all it would take. Cue police or security, cue massive shitstorm.

Tell me why you regard seeking assistance before helping a lost child is a foolish thing to do. Because that's all I've said. Everything else you seem to be gushing out is based on the point that one would do nothing, which I never advocated.

I've never said seeking assistance is foolish, infact I've said it was helpful....twice. Where did you get that from?

Sadly in this day and age media scaremongering have made the stupid amongst us in society feel enabled (especially with social media) to jump to conclusions.

I remember about 10 years ago an instance in Portsmouth (I think it was) where mob rule almost drove a Doctor out of the area because they were too stupid to tell the difference between the words 'Paediatrician' on her surgery's sign and 'paedophile'.

I remember a news report where they interviewed one of the bovine mothers who seemed quite proud of what they were attempting to do.


And Scottie2121? Get off your high horse mate. Real life isn't The Famous Five.

I would have thanked you. Over 5 years ago I was 8 months pregnant and my normally well behaved three year old almost 4 year old (who didn't have reins anymore) ran out of a coffee shop ahead of me and by the time I passed a few people to get out was half way down the street with me yelling for him to stop terrified he was going to run into the road and not a single person tried to grab him or stop him. I couldn't believe that people were so unhelpful and not worried about this child running into traffic.

A minute of losing sight of my kids and I am almost having a coronary event, they are so quick and easy to lose in amongst people in a shop.

Well, as a male who, a few years back, got reported to the police by concerned neighbours for taking pictures of their kids without permission despite the fact that they were initially taken as evidence of certain low-life kids trying to damage my front door. Given that it was unlikely that I'd find out who the parents were, I decided to delete them shortly after and unfortunately had no pictures to prove my point when the police called.

I was 'interviewed' (not under caution, I hasten to add) and advised that it'd probably be best if I didn't do it again - just in case. When I later spoke to one of the parents, I told them that thanks to their concern and subsequent action, I would never, ever again even attempt to help a child in apparent distress, even if I knew it was one of theirs.

Being accused of being a potential paedophile was not a pleasant experience and one I don't wish to repeat, so go run away little child, even if you are lost I will turn my back and let someone else step in and be the good Samaritan.