Don't get married at Christmas
Stay away from the Vic
Don't go ANYWHERE NEAR the Mitchell Sisters
Avoid buying a real tree (Usually ends up damaged on the floor)

Don't take out a loan
Don't make a Carter trifle
Don't sit on a wall near to a river/pond

Don't work in call centres
Don't have a severe drink problem
Don't touch any community pantomimes

Wear slip-on shoes.

Avoid open water altogether

Mitchells - Don't invite Dot for dinner she may commit Assisted suicide on Phil

Carters - Don't invite Dot for dinner she may commit Assisted suicide on Lee

Move out of Walford

Don't sleep with Phil Mitchell

Don't invite Aunt Sal

Have a weekend away from Walford
Don't go round the Beales
Keep Dot company and make she's sure OK and doesn't try to burn the house down
Don't work with any guys called Osman

Do not make any declarations about how this is going to be the 'best Christmas ever' or that New Year is going to be a fresh start.

Dont go for a swim

Avoid a family meal

Don't employ Jay and give him access to your petty cash.

1 - Put your affairs in order and draw up your will.

2 - Take a 3 week holiday ALONE starting December 15th.

3 - When on holiday, stay in your bed with the covers over your head as much as possible and do not heed any urges to return to Walford as a "surprise" / contact any loved ones / cross any roads or bridges / climb anywhere high especially on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

Don't get in a car with Ronnie, Phil or Ian. Or anyone else for that matter.

Say "this is going to be the best Christmas ever" at your peril.

Don't answer the door because chances are it will be someone from your murky past.

Don't say 'you ain't my sister/ mother/ dad/ brother' because chances are... they will be

Don't talk to anyone (even family) or leave your house for a single second. Change the date on your phone to September 25th and forget that Christmas even exists.

Don't get out of bed, having locked the door the night before.

Emigrate

Go on holiday on the 23rd December and don't come back until the 2nd January.

Check Digital Spy beforehand, so you know which neighbours to avoid at all costs!

Don't read all threads on Ds is my advice

Ronnie might be in for a shock if she checks to see if she's having a quiet New year for a change.

Jack Branning - Don't have sex 'cause the last thing the Square needs is another baby fathered by you. Do not procreate under any circumstances.

Phil Mitchell - Wear a bulletproof vest in case you get shot again. Not that you need one, mind.

Ronnie Mitchell - Remember to be polite to the Grim Reaper when he comes for you. He may spare you.

Stacey Slater - If you decide to kill anyone again, please refrain from using the Queen Vic bust in future as it is a sacred object. Thanks.

Jane Beale - Confess your crimes, biiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

Go indoors on 23rd Dec, lock the doors, close the curtains, and don't emerge until at least 2nd Jan! On pain of death, do NOT answer the door to anybody and tape your letterbox shut.