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How to put my supervisor in his place?


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Old 06-12-2016, 02:09
BigNipper
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I feel like I'm being harrased by the supervisor at work. He wil be friendly one minute and then he trys to give me advice,patronises me when I've been doing the job for over a decade. He enjoys pocking me and patting me on the back any chance he gets.

He also turns a blind eye when other people are making huge mistakes. He puts his favorites in the better positions and doesn't even monitor them. Bottom line is, he keeps forcing advice onto me about personal life and work life.

He starts off liking he's having a friendly conversations, brings up something he's acheived and then when you make a comment or show him tell him something he starts giving unwanted advice. I feel he won't leave me alone to do my job and doesn't take charge of the team. Just a fake guy who feels intrusive and trys to lure me into a false sense of security before bombarding me with advice.
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Old 06-12-2016, 02:44
james_lndsay
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I feel like I'm being harrased by the supervisor at work. He wil be friendly one minute and then he trys to give me advice,patronises me when I've been doing the job for over a decade. He enjoys pocking me and patting me on the back any chance he gets.

He also turns a blind eye when other people are making huge mistakes. He puts his favorites in the better positions and doesn't even monitor them. Bottom line is, he keeps forcing advice onto me about personal life and work life.

He starts off liking he's having a friendly conversations, brings up something he's acheived and then when you make a comment or show him tell him something he starts giving unwanted advice. I feel he won't leave me alone to do my job and doesn't take charge of the team. Just a fake guy who feels intrusive and trys to lure me into a false sense of security before bombarding me with advice.
Try and get witnesses to back you up, write down clearly everything and go to HR, I had a similar problem at work but it was downright hostility because I'm English from so called SNP patriots, one by one they have fallen like domino's and got the boot, one left who is being careful but if he does what I have been told he is going to do then he will be sacked on the spot, apparently in our secret Santa he has asked for me and has boasted to someone who he thinks is a close friend and colleague he is going to fill a box with poo and wrap it along with a card.

I won't open it at home, I'll do it in front of HR and I'll have a witness or ten who will grass him up, that's how hated and vile my tormentor is. You get the evidence HR will act.
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Old 06-12-2016, 02:46
mimik1uk
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maybe just follow the advice given the last time you asked this question just a few weeks ago

http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showt...562&highlight=
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Old 06-12-2016, 04:05
jackol
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What do you do? In one thread you claim to be door security in another you are bar staff. Which dept is it you are trying to teach a lesson to?
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Old 06-12-2016, 04:26
BigNipper
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Old 06-12-2016, 04:34
JackKlugman
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Maybe the supervisor fancies you ?
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Old 06-12-2016, 04:39
jackol
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Youve started several threads about useless supervisors/managers. Do you have a problem with people above you?
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Old 06-12-2016, 04:58
BigNipper
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No I think because of my size they are threatened so feel they have to prove something.
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Old 06-12-2016, 07:37
jackol
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No I think because of my size they are threatened so feel they have to prove something.
Youve said that several times before as well.Your size has nothing to do with it at all.Have you ever thought the problem might just be you? You arent as good as you think you are.
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Old 06-12-2016, 07:55
dosanjh1
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No I think because of my size they are threatened so feel they have to prove something.
Sounds like he's just showing concern and doing his job.
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Old 06-12-2016, 09:10
pie-eyed
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Giving you advice is a bad thing? I'd say as your supervisor u e is doing his job. Just do yours and stop obsessing about what other people are up to.
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Old 06-12-2016, 09:34
scottie2121
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I feel like I'm being harrased by the supervisor at work. He wil be friendly one minute and then he trys to give me advice,patronises me when I've been doing the job for over a decade. He enjoys pocking me and patting me on the back any chance he gets.

He also turns a blind eye when other people are making huge mistakes. He puts his favorites in the better positions and doesn't even monitor them. Bottom line is, he keeps forcing advice onto me about personal life and work life.

He starts off liking he's having a friendly conversations, brings up something he's acheived and then when you make a comment or show him tell him something he starts giving unwanted advice. I feel he won't leave me alone to do my job and doesn't take charge of the team. Just a fake guy who feels intrusive and trys to lure me into a false sense of security before bombarding me with advice.
How exactly does he do this?

Does he pin you to the floor and then tell you why having your 5-a-day is good for you and suggest how best to ensure you have a healthy diet and lifestyle?


Seriously, I think you need to look at how you respond to the actions of others and think about how you can change your responses that have a negative effect on you.

Perhaps even talk to your doctor about a referral for cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) either face-to-face or online.
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Old 06-12-2016, 09:45
eggchen
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I feel like I'm being harrased by the supervisor at work. He wil be friendly one minute and then he trys to give me advice,patronises me when I've been doing the job for over a decade. He enjoys pocking me and patting me on the back any chance he gets.

He also turns a blind eye when other people are making huge mistakes. He puts his favorites in the better positions and doesn't even monitor them. Bottom line is, he keeps forcing advice onto me about personal life and work life.

He starts off liking he's having a friendly conversations, brings up something he's acheived and then when you make a comment or show him tell him something he starts giving unwanted advice. I feel he won't leave me alone to do my job and doesn't take charge of the team. Just a fake guy who feels intrusive and trys to lure me into a false sense of security before bombarding me with advice.
This man sounds very fond of you in a kind of father / son type way. Perhaps he even thinks you could be lovers at some point? You should embrace it, it could be beautiful.
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Old 06-12-2016, 12:48
molliepops
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If it's only advice then you don't have to take any action, listen you may learn something. If he's telling you what to do that's not part of your job then again you don't have to do it. Perhaps don't tell him your problems he won't feel he needs to help you.
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Old 06-12-2016, 12:52
Tassium
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This is how men are unfortunately. If you don't understand it's because you are of average height.


Short//tall guys are often on the receiving end of a lot of "abuse" in the work place, for different reasons of course...

I see a lot of victim blaming in this thread.
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Old 06-12-2016, 13:02
molliepops
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This is how men are unfortunately. If you don't understand it's because you are of average height.


Short//tall guys are often on the receiving end of a lot of "abuse" in the work place, for different reasons of course...

I see a lot of victim blaming in this thread.
I'm not blaming him but if he doesn't tell the man his problems then he won't get unwanted advice.

The title about putting someone in their place is pretty telling, op has a problem with authority figures I believe as it's never occurred to me to ever put anyone in their place.
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Old 06-12-2016, 13:11
scottie2121
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This is how men are unfortunately. If you don't understand it's because you are of average height.


Short//tall guys are often on the receiving end of a lot of "abuse" in the work place, for different reasons of course...

I see a lot of victim blaming in this thread.
I can't see any 'victim-blaming'. More like suggestions that the OP starts to look at himself and how he acts and how he sees things. The OP has created several threads over the past few years that have had a similar theme and suggesting he may not be a victim could well be very helpful to him.

Wanting to know how to put someone in their place can also come across as defensive, aggressive and simplistic.
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Old 06-12-2016, 13:19
Tassium
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I don't see any evidence to suggest the OP actually wants to put anyone "in their place" as it is commonly understood, he just used a particular phrase without thinking how it'll be jumped on.

I stand by my previous statement.
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Old 06-12-2016, 13:25
scottie2121
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If the title isn't evidence enough then have a look here

http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showt...562&highlight=


Alternatively, you can let the OP know that you have access to what he's thinking.
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Old 06-12-2016, 13:48
MR_Pitkin
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I feel like I'm being harrased by the supervisor at work. He wil be friendly one minute and then he trys to give me advice,patronises me when I've been doing the job for over a decade. He enjoys pocking me and patting me on the back any chance he gets.
Surely this is physical abuse?
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Old 06-12-2016, 13:57
tim59
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No I think because of my size they are threatened so feel they have to prove something.
And you seem to be saying your size should mean it comades respect, your size means nothing at all
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Old 11-12-2016, 04:41
BigNipper
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Guy really does mug me off though.

We have new inexperienced staff turn up every week and puts them in the line of fire. It sounds like strange but he knows I need to be in the action, and sometimes I mention I would like to move into that position but he makes excuses and delays it just to be a ****.

In the end I'm nowhere to be found when it kicks off because he's stuffed me into some stupid spot. I've noticed he's doing it more and more and it does get to me as it feels I'm only allowed to do my job when he tells me so.
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Old 11-12-2016, 09:15
Jells Bells
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It's only 9am and I don't believe this phrase can be bettered today: “This is how men are unfortunately. If you don't understand it's because you are of average height."
😂
That and the suggestion that a pat on the back is physical abuse.

I'm inclined to agree that you should develop a thicker skin to cover your enormous torso and stop telling him things on which advice could be offered.
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Old 11-12-2016, 10:43
sadmuppet
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I don't normally trawl through people's posting history, but OP, you do seem to have problems with quite a few people - previous threads have indicated that you think your family are picking on you, as well as work colleagues (seemingly in more than one job).

If you have a lot of incidents with other people, then the common denominator is you - are you sure you aren't over-reacting or overthinking situations? I'm sure that it can't always be just due to your size - there are plenty of tall/big people around and I'm sure they don't all have the same type of trouble as you seem to...
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Old 11-12-2016, 11:29
Soomacdoo
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Guy really does mug me off though.

We have new inexperienced staff turn up every week and puts them in the line of fire. It sounds like strange but he knows I need to be in the action, and sometimes I mention I would like to move into that position but he makes excuses and delays it just to be a ****.

In the end I'm nowhere to be found when it kicks off because he's stuffed me into some stupid spot. I've noticed he's doing it more and more and it does get to me as it feels I'm only allowed to do my job when he tells me so.
I think this line sums it up. It seems you want to be there when it all kicks off because you enjoy the aggro. The whole point of bar security is to see a problem forming and then resolve it before it all kicks off.
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