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Are we still homophobic?


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Old 10-12-2016, 14:08
Paul237
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ok, lets forget about the bedroom

I think it happens a lot.

I have witnessed many times, people describe a person as "the Gay one".
Or, "my nephew who is Gay", rather than my nephew is a graduate. "My friend who,s Gay". "The Gay shop assistant". "My neighbour is Gay" rather than, my neighbour is an accountant.
I have met numerous Gay people over the years, but rarely their partners.
I would prefer to be told, "the tall one" or "my friend who has a good sense of humour"
Gay people themselves have also informed me quite quickly, that they are Gay.
I would prefer to know them by their name/as a person, rather than as Gay. .

I always reply when told this in reference to someone, "why do I need to know they are Gay"?
It doesn't happen a lot to me... Maybe I've led a sheltered life.

I find it strange that some accuse gay people of 'flaunting' their sexuality sometimes. Before civil partnerships were legalised anyone wearing a wedding ring was technically declaring that they were straight to everyone. Also, they'd have thought nothing of dropping in a reference to their wife or husband in casual conversation. Yet I doubt anyone ever said "why do they feel the need to tell me they're straight?"

I don't think many people run around telling strangers they're gay, but sometimes it crops up in conversation and I don't see the issue? If you're not bothered you can just say "okay" and change the subject.
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:10
Alrightmate
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Homophobia has actually come to mean hatred or prejudice towards gays. I'm not sure what a better word would be.
That's the problem when people start to forget the meaning of words and just allow themselves to project their own meaning onto them to mean whatever they want them to mean.
The phobia aspect is a very important one. It means an irrational fear. it doesn't even mean hatred.
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:14
Paul237
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That's the problem when people start to forget the meaning of words and just allow themselves to project their own meaning onto them to mean whatever they want them to mean.
The phobia aspect is a very important one. It means an irrational fear. it doesn't even mean hatred.
It's just semantics, though. Breaking down the literal meaning of the word homophobia is missing the point really.

I've heard comments such as "I'm not homophobic cause I'm not scared of gays I just don't like them" (or words of a similar nature). I wonder if they ever hear a "whoosh" over their head?
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:18
Pitman
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It's just semantics, though. Breaking down the literal meaning of the word homophobia is missing the point really.

I've heard comments such as "I'm not homophobic cause I'm not scared of gays I just don't like them" (or words of a similar nature). I wonder if they ever hear a "whoosh" over their head?

that's obviously an attempt at a gag. was it a Chubby Brown DVD ?
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:18
Alrightmate
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Social media is the biggest indicator of peoples TRUE reactions and feelings about homosexuality. I just done a few random searches of "homophobia", "coming out as gay", "closeted gay men" and stuff on Facebook and checked the top news articles relating to those key words and most of the top comments by users are things like "gays need to stop being so attention seeking, not everything is homophobic, people are entitled to their own opinions!!" and stuff. I've also saw things like "so much more important things going on in the world than gays and their rights, get a life!" and "just because we don't want to see two men kissing doesn't mean we're homophobic!!" etc etc. The sad thing is that these comments have hundreds of Likes and are getting alot of support.

Also I've saw an annoyingly increasing amount of "tag a mate who is gay" type posts on Facebook as well. One look at the comments has hundreds of straight guys tagging their friends for "banter" and calling eachother faggots and stuff.

Sigh.
Says who?
Social media in my opinion is a tool to encourage the narcissistic tendencies of anyone.
I think many of the things said on social media are exaggerated expressions of the person. It's even designed to fashion how people communicate due to the limitations of message length. So even just taking that one aspect alone it's forcing people to communicate in a manner which they'd find unnatural in the offline world.
People are aware that vast numbers of people will read their comments or watch their videos. That by its very nature will encourage a person to behave differently to how they may do in the offline world.

The more time people spend on social media I believe the more they will develop a distorted perception of the world and become more fearful of reality when they venture out into the physical world.
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:27
Keyser_Soze1
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Homophobia is an integral part of a particular religion that over a billion people practise, so I would say generally there is a lot of homophobia still about.
Those goddamn evil Buddhists!
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:29
Alrightmate
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There are also billions more who arent religious, but are still racist or homophobic.

It is also still illegal to be homosexual in some countries. 76 countries to be precise...

https://76crimes.com/76-countries-wh...ty-is-illegal/
I think that's a very interesting point which was worthwhile bringing up.
I think people get scared when they go onto the internet and see people differently from their everyday experience.
In the UK we are so used to what people are generally like in life in the UK, the good and the bad, that it may be difficult to comprehend why it can sometimes be so different online. We for the most part probably forget that we are seeing people from all over the world with many with cultures very different to our own.
It's just not going to be the same as our experiences with people we meet in physical life.

That's probably why it doesn't feel too bad on DS as far as I'm concerned. People for the most part conduct themselves in a way in which I find more predictable because I'm more used to it.
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Old 10-12-2016, 14:32
That username
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I believe people should be free to be what they wish to be this is whether they are gay or transcendent, religious, want to wear a burka or walk around naked, I also believe people should have a right to an opinion If someone feels that being gay is a sin, wearing a burka is wrong, being naked is immoral then they should have a right to these opinions
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Old 10-12-2016, 15:05
Jaycee Dove
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I believe people should be free to be what they wish to be this is whether they are gay or transcendent, religious, want to wear a burka or walk around naked, I also believe people should have a right to an opinion If someone feels that being gay is a sin, wearing a burka is wrong, being naked is immoral then they should have a right to these opinions

Of course, I know what you mean but I love the idea of someone revealing to the Sun that they are transcendent.

Though I guess that as I write about the paranormal for a living I am a transcendent transgender, so you could be right.

As for your sentiments I entirely agree with you. We should be tolerant of any opinion and seek to change attitudes over time by reason and example not by dogmatic insistence that we are right and they are wrong.

Society evolves gradually over time and the consensus viewpoint moves by inches per decade. We do not speed it up by aggressively challenging those who see things differently. We do so by persuading the open minded to see those who remain convinced we are just aberrations as the wrong side of the long term argument and to let the middle ground determine who is behaving anti-socially.

And that only works if we aspire to higher standards ourselves which means we have to accept and live with some views that may be anathema to ourselves. And challenge them with passion but only in a spirit of peace and friendship.

In the end the battle will be won not by a civil war but a war of civility.
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Old 10-12-2016, 15:16
Paul237
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I believe people should be free to be what they wish to be this is whether they are gay or transcendent, religious, want to wear a burka or walk around naked, I also believe people should have a right to an opinion If someone feels that being gay is a sin, wearing a burka is wrong, being naked is immoral then they should have a right to these opinions
They can have the opinion, as long as they don't bleat on about it to people who aren't interested and don't try to curtail the liberties of gay people.
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Old 10-12-2016, 15:32
Jaycee Dove
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They can have the opinion, as long as they don't bleat on about it to people who aren't interested and don't try to curtail the liberties of gay people.
Liberties are determined by society as a whole and not by an intolerant minority. In most civilised countries things have changed massively even in my lifetime.

50 years ago as a child doing my paper round I watched two transvestites get arrested off the streets of Manchester just for walking out in public (they were not transgender just flamboyant) and then driven out of their home by the intolerance of the early 60s.

To someone who had lived with being trans by then already for several years this was seriously dispiriting.

But times have changed hugely since then because popular opinion as to what is acceptable in a free society has moved. But it has moved as a result of the changing views of most right thinking people in the middle. Not those on the edge who have deeply held antipathy.

We should focus on acceptance by the mainstream as friendly, helpful, productive human beings and in that respect marginalise by their own actions the ones on the outer edge,

Fighting a war against such people rather than having friendly discourse to the best extent possible is not going to accelerate change.

Though I do agree that there are fights to be had in many less tolerant societies that are well worth supporting.
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Old 10-12-2016, 15:39
Psychosis
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Yes, unfortunately. I have been in a very stable, happy relationship with a hetero partner for eight years. I came out as bisexual earlier in the year and his mother a) yelled at him for two days straight about what a horrible person I am and b) will no longer stand in physical proximity to me or touch me. Am I going to infect her? Or is she afraid I'm going to start groping her?

Two of my children who attended different schools each described a tutor as being Gay.

"My art teacher Miss Smith is Gay" said one. He was correct, this teacher had informed the class, but I or he knew nothing about the private lives of the other staff.

Should the children had just known Miss Smith as Miss Smith, their art teacher? Or was it necessary that they should be informed that Miss Smith was Gay??
I told my class (at an appropriate moment in a conversation). I want them to know that people who are gay or bisexual are normal people with normal jobs and normal relationships. People often don't realise that they are around gay people all the time and they think that gay people are just "some other people" they don't know. Normalising LGBT people is important. They don't need to *know* that their other teachers are straight because straight is considered the default unless educated otherwise.

I'm a reasonably broad-minded 71 year old woman. I've been married and had children. I have gay friends, mostly male, who are good company - BUT I still feel very uncomfortable if I see gay men kissing on TV, especially on the soaps. Does this make me homophobic?
Yes.
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Old 10-12-2016, 18:59
Horace Wimp
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I'm a reasonably broad-minded 71 year old woman. I've been married and had children. I have gay friends, mostly male, who are good company - BUT I still feel very uncomfortable if I see gay men kissing on TV, especially on the soaps. Does this make me homophobic ?
Of course not, you are entitled to feel the way you feel about ANYTHING you like , it's a free country, you're allowed to be repulsed, we haven't quite reached the totalitarian state were any deviation from the accepted word of the tyrannical majority is rewarded by censure.
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Old 10-12-2016, 23:28
Sife Lucks
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Says who?
Social media in my opinion is a tool to encourage the narcissistic tendencies of anyone.
I think many of the things said on social media are exaggerated expressions of the person. It's even designed to fashion how people communicate due to the limitations of message length. So even just taking that one aspect alone it's forcing people to communicate in a manner which they'd find unnatural in the offline world.
People are aware that vast numbers of people will read their comments or watch their videos. That by its very nature will encourage a person to behave differently to how they may do in the offline world.

The more time people spend on social media I believe the more they will develop a distorted perception of the world and become more fearful of reality when they venture out into the physical world.
People will always say their true feelings when hidden behind a keyboard and are in the security and comfort of their own homes. It's okay for people to say in public that they support gays and have no problem with them but it isn't until you have them on Facebook and see their homophobia on their statuses (or see them commenting on news articles) that you realize how they truly feel. Nobody is going to admit to being a homophobe in person are they? Or slag off gays and use homophobia language in the work place, or anywhere else in public are they? But of course they'll do it online where they can just delete it or use the "just expressing my opinion" line as a defence if anyone calls them out on it.
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Old 11-12-2016, 09:11
Mia_Fine
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i know a lot of homophobic people
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:06
Ben_Fisher1
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This will probably not be popular, but i believe homophobia is always going to be around. I really think that most straight people, even if they want to feel liberal etc, deep down do not like the thought of homosexuality. The day things will have really changed is when we can go into any straight pub or club and be ourselves, ie show affection without fear of, at best getting looks and comments, or at worst, getting attacked. It still happens, yet straight people flood gay bars happily, and can be themselves anywhere. The plain fact is the majority always rules over the minority, unfortunately thats life. Not everyone lives in big cities like London or Manchester, and bisexual men in particular are still very covert, which is a shame.
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:10
Ben_Fisher1
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Of course not, you are entitled to feel the way you feel about ANYTHING you like , it's a free country, you're allowed to be repulsed, we haven't quite reached the totalitarian state were any deviation from the accepted word of the tyrannical majority is rewarded by censure.
She's not neccesarily homophobic....well actually there IS a phobia if she is repulsed by seeing it. I mean is a broad minded person who finds the sight of black people offensive racist?? lets call it what it is. Yes PC has gone too far, and people are entitled to their veiws if they are not hurting anyone with them....BUT it does just continue a culture of prejudice and ignorance, no point in pretending otherwise. Humans are really horrible, judgemental, scared, tribal creatures a lot of the time
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:14
Ben_Fisher1
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Yes, unfortunately. I have been in a very stable, happy relationship with a hetero partner for eight years. I came out as bisexual earlier in the year and his mother a) yelled at him for two days straight about what a horrible person I am and b) will no longer stand in physical proximity to me or touch me. Am I going to infect her? Or is she afraid I'm going to start groping her?



I told my class (at an appropriate moment in a conversation). I want them to know that people who are gay or bisexual are normal people with normal jobs and normal relationships. People often don't realise that they are around gay people all the time and they think that gay people are just "some other people" they don't know. Normalising LGBT people is important. They don't need to *know* that their other teachers are straight because straight is considered the default unless educated otherwise.



Yes.
I agree with you. Gay and probably more bisexuals are everywhere, but invisible, this perpetuates heteronormacy. Bi curiousness is VERY common believe me. I believe most straight people are afraid of the flipside to heterosexuality.
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:14
stoatie
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That's the problem when people start to forget the meaning of words and just allow themselves to project their own meaning onto them to mean whatever they want them to mean.
The phobia aspect is a very important one. It means an irrational fear. it doesn't even mean hatred.
"Homo" doesn't mean gay either. It's a neologism. Trying to pick holes in its perceived etymology is a fruitless task.

I'm also pretty sure hydrophobic particles don't experience fear.
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:15
Psychosis
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Of course not, you are entitled to feel the way you feel about ANYTHING you like , it's a free country, you're allowed to be repulsed, we haven't quite reached the totalitarian state were any deviation from the accepted word of the tyrannical majority is rewarded by censure.
It is a free country. You're allowed to be homophobic. But don't sugar coat it. If you are repulsed by something because:
- It's two men kissing instead of a man and a woman
- They're black
- It's women

Then you are homophobic/racist/sexist. If your revulsion is happening BECAUSE of sexuality/gender/race/whatever, then there's something wrong.
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:23
jjwales
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That's the problem when people start to forget the meaning of words and just allow themselves to project their own meaning onto them to mean whatever they want them to mean.
The phobia aspect is a very important one. It means an irrational fear. it doesn't even mean hatred.
In the case of homophobia, it certainly does include hatred. As others have said, the word means more than the sum of its parts. If you took it completely literally, it would mean "fear of the same"!
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:36
Ben_Fisher1
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That's the problem when people start to forget the meaning of words and just allow themselves to project their own meaning onto them to mean whatever they want them to mean.
The phobia aspect is a very important one. It means an irrational fear. it doesn't even mean hatred.
It IS a phobia if you realise that fear is very much a source of the hatred.
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:56
ajman
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I suspect that a lot of what is classed as homophobia is actually effemiphobia with most 'homphobic' people having far less of an issue with straight-acting gay men than they do with the camp and effeminate ones. But in answer to the OP's question, yes there is still a lot of homophobia. Not as much as there was but still a lot. Just look at the level opposition to same sex marriage.
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Old 12-12-2016, 04:32
realwales
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I believe homosexuality should be legal, and I am utterly opposed to people physically attacking homosexuals.

However, I am unconvinced that it is natural rather than a lifestyle choice.

Secondly, in my life, I have encountered a very large number of immature gay men in the workplace, who are also prone to tiffs and hissy fits, and general bitchiness. I've also encountered many instances of homosexual colleagues (usually men) struggling to accept discipline. Maybe it's because they're used to challenging attitudes they don't like.

Thirdly, I dislike the seedy undercurrent of gay lifestyles, namely the drug use and promiscuity that many homosexual men partake in. I know this view is shared by the homosexual journalist Simon Fanshawe.

Fourthly, anyone who won't defend the rights of people to condemn homosexual acts on religious or moral grounds doesn't believe in free speech at all.

Fifthly, I always, always turn the TV off or change channels when I see homosexuals kissing. It makes me feel uncomfortable and my instincts tell me it's abnormal and unnatural. I've also stopped watching the soaps because they've become so reliant on homosexual storylines in recent years.

I have not, and will never, attend a gay wedding. The very concept is an oxymoron to me.

I'm sure some people will be outraged by my views. I don't care. They're very, very mild compared to what most Muslims living in Britain believe.
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Old 12-12-2016, 04:40
dee123
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It doesn't happen a lot to me... Maybe I've led a sheltered life.

I find it strange that some accuse gay people of 'flaunting' their sexuality sometimes. Before civil partnerships were legalised anyone wearing a wedding ring was technically declaring that they were straight to everyone. Also, they'd have thought nothing of dropping in a reference to their wife or husband in casual conversation. Yet I doubt anyone ever said "why do they feel the need to tell me they're straight?"

I don't think many people run around telling strangers they're gay, but sometimes it crops up in conversation and I don't see the issue? If you're not bothered you can just say "okay" and change the subject.
That topic usually pops up a few times a year here and it's usually about two guys holding hands.

Believe it or not.
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