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Its time to stop adult present giving
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shackfan
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“Lets face it 95% of adult presents are superfluous and pointless and you diont need or want them. I mean buying a present for say inlaws wtf is that? I think after 16 you dont exchange presents?

Makes much more sense”

I'd say keep your nose out of other people's business and let us decide. If you want to be a miserable g*t that's your problem and prerogative.
molliepops
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by Tellystar:
“I think that once grandchildren are earning, they should buy the presents for other family members, rather than the parents buying them and putting theirs and the children's names on them
Doesn't have to be anything expensive, but at least it shows they have put thought into it and are prepared to spend their own money”

I prefer kids to not spend on me, they need all they can get for living costs, it's easier as we grow older and are not scrabbling for every penny to spend on them.
contrarian
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by shackfan:
“I'd say keep your nose out of other people's business and let us decide. If you want to be a miserable g*t that's your problem and prerogative.”

you dont decide tho do you, you give because its the done thing


why is this so hard to understand?
Brandy211
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by Pumping Iron:
“I still enjoy giving and receiving presents, and always will.”

I do far more giving than receiving, but I have no complaints.

I buy because I want too. They are always well received.
Whedonite
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“you dont decide tho do you, you give because its the done thing


why is this so hard to understand?”

People still choose to take part in the "done thing". Nobody held a gun to my head when I did my Christmas shopping.
Tellystar
08-12-2016
I think it teaches them not to be selfish
If they can afford to buy clothes and make up, go on holiday and have a social life, they can afford to show they care by choosing a thoughtful gift, for other close family members, which needn't cost a lot.
What does it teach them, if Mum and Dad pays for them, yet puts , all their names on the gift tag
That's ok when they are small( although I had to save for others gifts from my meagre pocket money), but as they start earning, a small gift won't harm their bank balance
muggins14
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by Tellystar:
“I think that once grandchildren are earning, they should buy the presents for other family members, rather than the parents buying them and putting theirs and the children's names on them
Doesn't have to be anything expensive, but at least it shows they have put thought into it and are prepared to spend their own money”

About 5 months ago my older brother gave some sweetie money to my daughter - I asked her why she hadn't spent it and she said she was saving to get me something for Christmas, which is really sweet (no pun intended ). Whatever it is I shall treasure it because she's been thinking about it all this time.
Brandy211
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“you dont decide tho do you, you give because its the done thing


why is this so hard to understand?”

Not in my case.

I love Christmas shopping, for others more than for myself.

My presents are usually left until last, as they are unsure what I may have bought
kitty86
08-12-2016
I won't be stopping anytime soon, but you go ahead if you so wish. For what it's worth I'm also one of those people saying "I don't know" when asked what I want this year, I earn my own money and buy my own things so there's nothing major, however whatever I do get will be gratefully received and it won't stop me for buying gifts for all my family members (adults included)
contrarian
08-12-2016
and its hideous opening presents in front of people and having to fake delight
Asarualim
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“you dont decide tho do you, you give because its the done thing


why is this so hard to understand?”

Because it's not correct. I don't give my brother/sister-in-law or nephew and niece presents at xmas because they're an ungrateful bunch who I don't like, even though it's the done thing to get them presents. I give presents to my other brother and sister and niece and the rest of the family because I do like them.
francie
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“and its hideous opening presents in front of people and having to fake delight”

Don't hang around with cheapskates then.
Asarualim
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“and its hideous opening presents in front of people and having to fake delight”

The fact they thought about you and got you a gift should be delightful enough.
JasonWatkins
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“yes but sadly all adults follow the norm at the moment and end up wanting millions on crap girfs that they will neither use or want so your theory is a bust”

don't lump me in with that sweeping generalisation ..
tenofspades
08-12-2016
I have been thinking about this. I don't know where I stand. I think everyone's family is different. I have had a bit off a standoff over the years with one family member. Their belief, presents have to be useful to them and if they're not - raise some money for themselves and immediately sell on eBay. I think this is wrong. So I successfully done a charity exchange for years, both donate to charity instead.

This year, living on my own for first time- Christmas looks pretty expensive so am contemplating the no presents option - but then you start overthinking. (I should point out I've always thought Christmas is an excessively commercial nonsense, so its not a new development because of having to watch the budget. It just seems its an infliction of needless agony each Christmas trying to try think of something that someone else might like. Sometimes you just don't have time for all that malarkey, particularly when busy with work- last thing you want on a day off plunging into busy mad crowds all in the same mad chase.)

The Scrooge connotation follows if you don't get something- Such tightness, a chance to celebrate Christmas, the beginning of the winter season, and you have not engaged in the festivities. Instead opting for a blank, and hollow Christmas- all to measly count pennies. Not to mention next year one relative may no longer be with you.

I suppose idealistically what I think is Christmas should not be about what capitalistic novelty you can buy with your money. Idealistically, it would be what you could actually make. This does mean having a craft though, and also sufficient time to spend upon this craft. Perhaps this is why the popular opt of buying instead, a saving of far more time.

Anyway I haven't solved this. Eg I will probably engage in the madness.
netcurtains
08-12-2016
I like to buy my mam and dad a present.
tenofspades
08-12-2016
If I get on PC I will rewrite that post to be legible. That's a 'write as you think' post.
Sansa_Snow
08-12-2016
I have always loved giving and receiving gifts at Christmas but I am finding it increasingly difficult each year to come up with new ideas after 15 or 20 years. I am lucky I don't have many to buy for but it is still quite stressful.
Asarualim
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by Sansa_Snow:
“I have always loved giving and receiving gifts at Christmas but I am finding it increasingly difficult each year to come up with new ideas after 15 or 20 years. I am lucky I don't have many to buy for but it is still quite stressful.”

With the advent of facebook, I've actually fouind it easier and easier to find gifts for people by having a quick scan of their fb page for pages they've liked to get ideas. A coupe of years ago, looking for ideas for my sis-in-law i noticed she liked steam-punk jewellery. I knew she was into crafts so got her loads of bits and pieces to make her own steampunk jewellry with. She loved it. Thanks fb.
Stompa
08-12-2016
I stopped all present giving many years ago.
dave2702
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by Asarualim:
“With the advent of facebook, I've actually fouind it easier and easier to find gifts for people by having a quick scan of their fb page for pages they've liked to get ideas. A coupe of years ago, looking for ideas for my sis-in-law i noticed she liked steam-punk jewellery. I knew she was into crafts so got her loads of bits and pieces to make her own steampunk jewellry with. She loved it. Thanks fb. ”

And wishlists make it easier, OH has Wishlists on Etsy, Amazon and several other places so it's quite easy to find a present she really wants

Etsy is really handy because if the item disappears from her wishlist she assumes someone else has bought it
planets
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“Lets face it 95% of adult presents are superfluous and pointless and you diont need or want them. I mean buying a present for say inlaws wtf is that? I think after 16 you dont exchange presents?

Makes much more sense”

Just because you are rubbish at buying gifts doesn't mean everyone else is.
stoatie
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by contrarian:
“My partner asked what do you want for christmas and my reply was nothing (in my head I said because I am not a child)”

#accidentalpartridge
benjamini
08-12-2016
I'm 65 now and in my childhood and teens gifts and Christmas was a religious event and essentially for children, I don't ever remember adults getting anything except a packet of shortbread ,times change and christamas is a wholly different occasion.
I'm fortunate that this Christmas all my children and grandchildren will be with me. They are all in good health with excellent jobs and in a far more fortunate position to buy what they want and need than I am.
This year I have counted my blessings and I have many and with all their support I will donate what I would spend on them to their nominated charities. As a family we have so much , but it's entirely my choice.
gdjman68wasdigi
08-12-2016
Originally Posted by kitty86:
“I won't be stopping anytime soon, but you go ahead if you so wish. For what it's worth I'm also one of those people saying "I don't know" when asked what I want this year, I earn my own money and buy my own things so there's nothing major, however whatever I do get will be gratefully received and it won't stop me for buying gifts for all my family members (adults included)”

Agree Kitty, I get a lot of enjoyment buying people presents, I'm almost done, just need to get Saf something from the pound shop.

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