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Is he over her? |
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
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Is he over her?
Hi all,
I've just returned home after seeing my long distance boyfriend for a few days. I'm 18 and he's 27. We met on an online game this time last year and started to grow really close this summer. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. We've spoken online for several hours every single day since July and met in person for the first time in October. He had only just broken up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks before we met, so we didn't become a couple until recently. He's been such a gentleman knowing I'm so much younger than him and still a virgin, and has said he wants to take things slow because he respects me so much. I was worried about us getting together so quickly so soon after ending things with his girlfriend because he was with her for such a long time and she was closer to his age, but he managed to make me feel so much better and ease my worries. He said he had been unhappy with his girlfriend for a very long time and had fallen out of love and that I'm the one he loves. Apparently she was completely selfish and possessive of him. It made him miserable and he could never have a life outside of her. She used him and neglected him. I had such a lovely time with my boyfriend the last few days. Saturday we arranged to go out with one of his friends who I also know from the online game we play together. My boyfriend asked me to text his friend to let him know he was running late, so I grabbed his phone and did so. I was so upset and shocked at what I then saw... His ex girlfriends name was quite high up in his list of text messages. I knew they were still talking — my boyfriend made me aware of this and said she's been having a hard time with the break up and pestering him a lot because she knows he's with me now. However, when I saw the most recent message under her name I quickly became aware this wasn't what was going on... My heart was racing and I panicked, my emotions got the better of me, so I clicked her name and saw my boyfriend had sent her loads of texts without a response from her. The last message she actually sent to him was 3 weeks ago. She told him she couldn't be friends with him because she loved him too much but she would be fine, and told him not to worry about her and that she just wanted him to be happy even if it couldn't be with her. He has sent her like 5 text messages since with no response from her at all... He was saying he hoped she was okay, that he really missed her and their time together, talking with her and hanging out with her, and that he thought the world of her and always would. I don't know what to do or even think. I didn't tell him I saw the messages as it's just so wrong and inappropriate that I looked in the first place, and I just want to pretend I never did... It was so hard being around him the rest of the weekend, but we've been talking online all day together and he seems happy and so am I. I love him so much. What he said to his ex is still in the back of my mind though and it's really upsetting me. I'm so shocked because he seems so happy with me and I thought he was totally over her. What do you guys think? |
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#2 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Mount Olympus
Posts: 18,232
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Your gut feeling is correct.
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In the clouds
Posts: 3,775
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Quote:
Your gut feeling is correct.
I am a lot older than you and have sometimes looked back and thought 'If only I had followed my gut there, it would have saved a whole host of heartache.' If you do go forward with this guy, be cautious. You don't really know someone when it's conducted over the phone and net - far too easy to only show the best sides of yourself. Just beware. |
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#4 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 3,726
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This reads like the opening chapter of a Mills & Boon novel. Nice try.
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,889
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Hi,
You could follow the advice you got when you posted on moneysaving expert and tiny buddah earlier this week, I have nothing to add over what's been said there: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/...php?p=71735621 http://tinybuddha.com/topic/absolute...on-what-to-do/ |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,048
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Quote:
Hi,
You could follow the advice you got when you posted on moneysaving expert and tiny buddah earlier this week, I have nothing to add over what's been said there: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/...php?p=71735621 http://tinybuddha.com/topic/absolute...on-what-to-do/
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,433
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Been in a similar situation. They were still together. Odd how they supposedly got back together after I'd told him no the second time.
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 2,777
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If she's as bad as you said he said she was in your second paragraph then why if they've broken up is he still in touch with her at all?
Surely he'd be glad to be rid of her! Something seems a bit fishy here. He must be trying to get back with her and bet you if she agreed he'd drop you like a hotcake, or keep you as his bit on the side.
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,889
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Quote:
This is what is called Doing-a-Joanne
![]() Anyway, looking at the moneysaving thread (the only one of her 3 she's returned to) and it's all been resolved now. |
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,366
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Run!!! ( in the opposite direction.)
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Surely he'd be glad to be rid of her! Something seems a bit fishy here. He must be trying to get back with her and bet you if she agreed he'd drop you like a hotcake, or keep you as his bit on the side.