................. when it comes to dating or are there really so few decent blokes about.

I ask as at 36, I know so many attractive women who are single, they could have any bloke they wanted, but never seem to date. Comments have been made of course about waiting for (insert perfect bloke here) and i assumed they were at least half joking, but recent experience suggests they are chasing that elusive perfect bloke who never appears.

They are just waiting for the perfect bloke for them, not THE perfect bloke - although they may joke about it, it's a way of deflecting from the unusual questions as to why they are single I imagine, as it's nobody's business but theirs!

Not everybody wants to partnered up just because others think they should be. Some people wait until they meet somebody they want to be with. Some women enjoy being single.

Are you single?

Asking for a friend

There's a lot to be said about being single and independent. Not everyone wants (or needs) a partner in life.

Perhaps they don't want a relationship. Many people don't want the associated baggage that goes with it.

But half of them are on various dating websites !!

Ah, well those that are will probably be disappointed if they hope to meet their image of the perfect one for them.

Why are you assuming it's because they are picky rather than because the haven't met someone who really clicked with them? Everyone says stuff about Mr/Mrs Right, doesn't mean they have unrealistic expectations. People shouldn't just settle you know, especially if they have as much going for them as you seem to imply. I have several female and male friends who have done just this and ended up unhappier than when they were single.

I agree. A lot of times it's just something to say those irritating nosy people that think you should be in a relationship. The bloke equivalent is to joke that nobody would have me.

Regarding that, I did see an article that suggested women were much fussier than men on those sites once. Now whether that means women can be unrealistic, men aren't fussy enough or a bit of both is for you to decide.

As far I remember the article looked at the one where you swipe left or right on your mobile to signal interest or not. Women were saying no much more often than men. It also looked at stats from another site, and men and women were asked to judge profiles out of 10. The average scores women gave men's profiles were much lower than the average scores men gave to women's. I think the average men's profile got about a 3 or 4 out of 10 and a woman's around a 6 or 7.

Aren't men equally as unrealistic? I think women are more unrealistic when it comes to dating apps and such, whereas men aren't; lets face it, most (not all) men on said sites aren't after long-term commitment. That said, it's hard to pinpoint. Women undoubtedly get a good number of messages daily through such sites, and it's then up to them to pick the best of the bunch if they're going to reply, and naturally they're going to pick the ones that look the part - at least to them. In that respect, men are seemingly easier to please (cause despite equality, it's the men that need to do the chasing).

When it comes to meeting people in person, that's a whole different story, cause there's that personal dynamic, and you're actually interacting with said person. You (@OP) mention these single women you know are on dating sites, maybe they're just there keeping their options open, or seeing what's about? Think of it as window shopping.

You don't walk past a shop and buy everything you see, do you? Maybe they're doing the same thing, and if the right looking/sounding guy comes along or messages them, maybe they'll act on it.

Oh and another thing. I've had two married women come on to me recently. I thought it was blokes who did the most cheating !!

True, but specifically looking at those on dating sites, I know for a fact that women receive large numbers of messages every day ........... surely with such large numbers of men chasing them one has got to be suitable.

The strong independent woman who will not settle for anything less than perfection aisle: http://i.imgur.com/JgRKYG3.jpg?1

It's true of both OkCupid and Tinder. Women tend to judge male attractiveness more harshly whilst men tend to be balanced in their judging. There's the 80/20 rule - 80% of women chase the top 20% of men when it comes to courting. Obviously the vast majority of the other 80% of men don't end up single for the rest of their life, the vast majority of people marry or co-habit - long term singles are a very small number of people.

There was also a study by a student on sexology of men and women on Tinder where the student mentioned what they found on a forum and found that 80% of women had at least one sexual experience on Tinder compared to just 17% of men. Women also swipe right far less than men.

Is that not because the men are judging looks and the women are judging prospects?

Dating in this era seems so calculating and cold that if I was to break up with my OH I would not bother. Maybe the women you are talking about are just burnt out and disillusioned with trying to find a significant other. I was going to say trying to find romance, but romance seems thin on the ground these days. Swipe left, ghosting, commitment phobic - just seems like hard work.

I've found the actual article now, and as tghe-retford mentioned it was from ok cupid. https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/y...online-dating/

80% of men apparently have below average looks. However, the good news is that it didn't necessarily stop women from messaging these men.

About equal between women and men from the statistics that I have seen, though women are far better at hiding their infidelity than men are.

Being honest, more trouble than it's ultimately worth IMO.

Lol, I feel your pain. Although i've browsed dating sites, i've only been on one day, my profiles mainly stay hidden. No offence, but I just can't be bothered with the opposite sex for the most part. Its never been anything but hassle and heartache in my experience.

Have any women had recent experiences of online dating? whats it been like?

I consider online dating has become just like any form of commerce online, people go in with high expectations, expect perfection and want results. When it doesn't work out, you can become jaded, cynical or even bitter.

I'd actively suggest that for women, if you want a sexual encounter, use Tinder. If you're a man and you're not Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt, don't bother with online dating or hook-up apps at all - focus on your own life, create your own happiness and meet people offline. Online dating can be bad for both men and women in different ways.

One of your best posts, tghe. Agree 100%.

I know its old fashioned, but you cannot beat going out there and meeting people.

After my husband died, I really wasn't interested in anyone else. I just wanted to concentrate on my daughter. About 16 months after he died, I started a job. To cut a really long story short, me and my boss became friendly, as his mum had died and when he came back from compassionate leave, I would help him with paperwork and things on PC. We would chat alot about grief. 3 months after that, we started dating but kept hid hidden from workmates. Something just clicked with us. He's 8 years older than me, has never married, no children. When people at work found out about us (when we weren't working but went out for a night out and someone saw us) everyone was really happy for us. They say they've never seen him so happy until I started working there. We've been together 3 and a half years now. He wants us to marry. I don't work there anymore, got a different job. Maybe it was right time, right place.