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Dating: Are women unrealistic? |
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#26 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Pit of Despair
Posts: 50,183
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After my husband died, I really wasn't interested in anyone else. I just wanted to concentrate on my daughter. About 16 months after he died, I started a job. To cut a really long story short, me and my boss became friendly, as his mum had died and when he came back from compassionate leave, I would help him with paperwork and things on PC. We would chat alot about grief. 3 months after that, we started dating but kept hid hidden from workmates. Something just clicked with us. He's 8 years older than me, has never married, no children. When people at work found out about us (when we weren't working but went out for a night out and someone saw us) everyone was really happy for us. They say they've never seen him so happy until I started working there. We've been together 3 and a half years now. He wants us to marry. I don't work there anymore, got a different job. Maybe it was right time, right place.
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#27 |
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Not everybody wants to partnered up just because others think they should be. Some people wait until they meet somebody they want to be with. Some women enjoy being single. Not everyone wants to be with somebody full time. Some are scared of being alone, others aren't. Women rely less now on men, than in years gone by & as you say, many are quite happy being single. |
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#28 |
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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But half of them are on various dating websites !!
![]() I have known of women that do this & have an extremely busy (and free/cheap) social life. There might be other,s who are there just to test the waters to see if there,s any interest. Some are already dating, but haven't deleted their account. |
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#29 |
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 790
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80% of men apparently have below average looks. .
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#30 |
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Southern East Anglia
Posts: 75,216
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This...Is what many fail to understand.
Not everyone wants to be with somebody full time. Some are scared of being alone, others aren't. Women rely less now on men, than in years gone by & as you say, many are quite happy being single. |
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#31 |
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Back of the shed.
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I've been suspicious of online dating. I tried it once and they always message you a link to their naughty pictures asking you to pay to see them after the conversation gets flowing.
I moved on to dating apps and had one date where she didn't feel any romantic connection despite us getting on very well. |
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#32 |
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: London
Posts: 6,354
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Everything seems to be done online now, shopping, dating and discussion. I think a lot of people are happy to be single instead of settling for someone they don't want 100%. I think men put a lot of store into looks while women look further than that. Looks aren't everything. Women on dating sites get many messages including a lot from proper creeps. I met some nice men online including a younger man I saw for months before I ended it and had some nice encounters with younger men. I met up with a very good looking but horrible and creepy guy. He was just awful as a date. I also met a guy who turned out to be someone different to his photo, 15 years older on real life and I think someone else altogether. I think women are more independent nowadays and finding a man isn't necessarily a priority any more compared to a few decades ago. Also I have read that hookers are using dating sites to make money from the men on there and link to porn sites etc. Finally just because someone is good looking of either gender it doesn't necessarily follow that they'd be snapped up and it doesn't always follow that they'll be a nice person or a good partner.
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#33 |
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,433
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I'm not unrealistic. I'd rather not date someone who is desparate. I've had a few ask me out who are desparate. I don't click at all with one (we'd known each other for a year before he asked me out) and the other, well, he was just creepy.
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#34 |
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Just here, inside my head.
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Word of the week....." Creepy"
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#35 |
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Retford
Posts: 20,450
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Quote:
Women rely less now on men, than in years gone by & as you say, many are quite happy being single.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulat...ngarrangements This is probably down to women holding all the aces when it comes to courtship and relationships, are likely to engage in more casual relationships (including no strings sexual encounters via Tinder) and the growth of "I'd rather be single than settle". |
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#36 |
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Word of the week....." Creepy"
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#37 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Work, probably..
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Regarding that, I did see an article that suggested women were much fussier than men on those sites once. Now whether that means women can be unrealistic, men aren't fussy enough or a bit of both is for you to decide.
As far I remember the article looked at the one where you swipe left or right on your mobile to signal interest or not. Women were saying no much more often than men. It also looked at stats from another site, and men and women were asked to judge profiles out of 10. The average scores women gave men's profiles were much lower than the average scores men gave to women's. I think the average men's profile got about a 3 or 4 out of 10 and a woman's around a 6 or 7. |
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#38 |
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Just here, inside my head.
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Every dating website I've been on, I have to lie on my profile. Just having a stable job and a great personality isn't enough. Some of the women on them are VERY materialistic. There's even options as to what someone must be earning before they can actually message them.
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#39 |
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Sees me at the tower
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They could indeed be waiting for Brad Pitt. Or they could be not dating because even just the thought of going on one date is tiresome. Or it could be one of the infinite other possible reasons.
The fact that they're attractive is irrelevant if they're choosing not to date or look for a relationship. |
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#40 |
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: London
Posts: 602
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................. when it comes to dating or are there really so few decent blokes about.
I ask as at 36, I know so many attractive women who are single, they could have any bloke they wanted, but never seem to date. Comments have been made of course about waiting for (insert perfect bloke here) and i assumed they were at least half joking, but recent experience suggests they are chasing that elusive perfect bloke who never appears. The more people who are happy with their own life instead of settling for a 'couples life' that may not be as fulfilling, is surely the way forward. |
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#41 |
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,281
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................. when it comes to dating or are there really so few decent blokes about.
I ask as at 36, I know so many attractive women who are single, they could have any bloke they wanted, but never seem to date. Comments have been made of course about waiting for (insert perfect bloke here) and i assumed they were at least half joking, but recent experience suggests they are chasing that elusive perfect bloke who never appears. |
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#42 |
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: London
Posts: 602
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Have you ever considered that they're actually happy being single? Not all women are looking for a man.
Although to be fair I have a lot of female friends in relationships who say the same about me, so hmm. |
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#43 |
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 20,674
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Have you ever considered that they're actually happy being single? Not all women are looking for a man.
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#44 |
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,281
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No, no women are clearly unfulfilled unless they're in a relationship.
Although to be fair I have a lot of female friends in relationships who say the same about me, so hmm.
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#45 |
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,281
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God forbid
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#46 |
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 322
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I tried dating sites earlier this year but I didn't really take it seriously at all (my profile was a bit of a nihilistic piss-take). I think this was partly because I know I'm not a good looking guy and being able to say "Oh yeah, the reason I didn't have any online dating success is because I was only messing about" is easier than "Man, I'm not attractive AT ALL..."
I also did the maths once for people who I think would be interested in me, and starting at the Earth's population of 7 billion, I got down to about 3 and then gave up before it got embarrassing. I don't think women are any more unrealistic than men, but I do think that you have to have something about you to get noticed on an online dating app ie. more than a profile pic of you in the pub and listing your interests as football and drinking. |
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#47 |
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: London
Posts: 602
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Quote:
I tried dating sites earlier this year but I didn't really take it seriously at all (my profile was a bit of a nihilistic piss-take). I think this was partly because I know I'm not a good looking guy and being able to say "Oh yeah, the reason I didn't have any online dating success is because I was only messing about" is easier than "Man, I'm not attractive AT ALL..."
I also did the maths once for people who I think would be interested in me, and starting at the Earth's population of 7 billion, I got down to about 3 and then gave up before it got embarrassing. I don't think women are any more unrealistic than men, but I do think that you have to have something about you to get noticed on an online dating app ie. more than a profile pic of you in the pub and listing your interests as football and drinking. If you go down the pub and sit at the bar a couple times a week either with friends or on your own, I guarantee you'll find success through social interaction, regardless of whether you believe you're attractive or not. |
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#48 |
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 676
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Dating in this era seems so calculating and cold that if I was to break up with my OH I would not bother. Maybe the women you are talking about are just burnt out and disillusioned with trying to find a significant other. I was going to say trying to find romance, but romance seems thin on the ground these days. Swipe left, ghosting, commitment phobic - just seems like hard work.
I always get the feeling people on dating websites must be a bit odd if they can't go out and meet people the old-fashioned way. |
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#49 |
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In a building
Posts: 24,022
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The very best looking women around, are often dull and dumb! I'm not sure why, but very often it seems to be the case. That is why many are single. It's not always by "choice". Or because they are the ones waiting for "Mr perfect for them".
Awesome looking women often are unlucky in love, being dull and dumb aren't attractive characteristics. This does go the same for the very best looking guys around to. The best looking people around, are often uptight and dull. Not always of course. But in my experience it's often true. Many very good looking people have the attitude "whats going on I look fantastic" why am I still single.. They tend to forget they also need other good traits about them! |
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#50 |
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In a building
Posts: 24,022
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Dating sites don't believe they are full of awesome looking females!
Like I say don't believe them!
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