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Dating: Are women unrealistic?


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Old 09-12-2016, 16:20
Lojen
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**** the women are judging prospects?
The prospect of the man being minimum 6' tall you mean?
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Old 09-12-2016, 16:36
juliancarswell
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Is that not because the men are judging looks and the women are judging prospects?
You had to go there didn't you! 😱
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Old 09-12-2016, 17:05
LakieLady
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The whole dating website thing seems so artificial to me. All of my relationships have started when I have been socialising, or at work/school. You get to know the person and after a while realise you both like each other quite a lot - this can happen over the course of months or in one evening.
My dating years were before t'interweb was a thing, and that's exactly how I met people (although I did meet two boyfriends in hospital - one was a doctor treating my broken arm and the other was visiting a mutual friend).

People I know who do online dating seem to meet people who are, at worst, frauds, or at best, being less than honest. There are an awful lot of players out there.
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Old 09-12-2016, 17:17
CappySpectrum
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Reading all these replies, internet dating really appears to sound awful? Never tried it myself but it sounds quite bad? That and the stories you hear who weren't even a woman or a woman went on a date in turn it was another woman and that didn't turn out well. So many scenarios.

Let alone the stories you hear about people traveling over 100 miles and further. Some even to another country.
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Old 09-12-2016, 19:54
tghe-retford
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Every dating website I've been on, I have to lie on my profile. Just having a stable job and a great personality isn't enough. Some of the women on them are VERY materialistic. There's even options as to what someone must be earning before they can actually message them.
It's like a one-upmanship thing because you are in competition with everyone else and its fierce, for straight men who may well struggle to get any woman to respond to their message and for women who'll be likely competing against each other for the attention of the top 20% of men on the site.

Men tend to lie about their age, height and income. Age because women tend to prefer older men with income, they are more mature, have their life in order, have a career, house, car and ability to raise a family. Height because one of the characteristics women look for in a man is how tall they are - taller men provide security and provide a sense of comfort. As juliancarswell mentioned, it is due to hypergamy.

Both men and women exaggerate about holidays, going out and their social lives - tends to make up a lot of profile pictures - it demonstrates excitement, happiness and confidence.

Weight isn't so much of a factor with either men or women unless someone is unhealthy - either too skinny or too fat. Whilst women can be more self-conscious about their weight, women tend to lie about their age - because men are generally attracted to young, fertile women. As seen in the ONS statistics for marriage by age, women marry younger than men.

On a different note, it is telling that dating websites, both free and paid, are promoting more social aspects of dating - such as events, nights out and groups. I think they are aware that fatigue has set in to online dating, people are becoming more disillusioned with the model behind online dating and they are adapting accordingly. Social situations where those painting a false picture of themselves behind a profile and its pictures cannot hide.
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Old 09-12-2016, 20:46
Pitman
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they can't be that unrealistic, because most of them all end up with pig ugly gits
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Old 09-12-2016, 20:59
francie
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Every dating website I've been on, I have to lie on my profile. Just having a stable job and a great personality isn't enough. Some of the women on them are VERY materialistic. There's even options as to what someone must be earning before they can actually message them.
Surely having such "a great personality" would mean you wouldn't have to go on the likes of a dating site to attract someone. If I read that in a profile I'd run a mile, just as I would if someone's profile mentioned being "a nice guy".

Males can be just as materialistic as women.
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Old 09-12-2016, 21:02
CappySpectrum
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they can't be that unrealistic, because most of them all end up with pig ugly gits
I used to wonder about that how such beatiful women end up with some fat ugly men... Yet so many women say they go after looks. Or they're rich...
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Old 11-12-2016, 09:17
Mia_Fine
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yeah we live in our perfect dreams
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Old 11-12-2016, 09:38
TARDIS Blue
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Reading all these replies, internet dating really appears to sound awful? Never tried it myself but it sounds quite bad? That and the stories you hear who weren't even a woman or a woman went on a date in turn it was another woman and that didn't turn out well. So many scenarios.

Let alone the stories you hear about people traveling over 100 miles and further. Some even to another country.
I've dabbled with internet dating a few times and I've decided it's not for me. It is just so...impersonal. It feels like applying for a job.
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Old 11-12-2016, 09:56
446.09375
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Maybe these attractive single ladies bat for the other side and don't want to come out?
i.e. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41HT21ARlgg
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Old 11-12-2016, 11:10
Peach Melba
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OP, perhaps they are single by choice and are enjoying their freedom. We don't all need man to 'make us complete'.

I am single and love the freedom and being able to do as I please, whenever I like.

I am not against relationships or men at all - but for me, I prefer not being 'shackled' to another.
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Old 11-12-2016, 13:34
Mandark
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I used to wonder about that how such beatiful women end up with some fat ugly men... Yet so many women say they go after looks. Or they're rich...
Money has to be a factor. The average man is wealthier than the average woman. A wealthy small/medium size business owner might not have the looks or style of a sometimes employed model/actor but he could offer a low paid woman, who may be struggling to pay the bills, financial security. I've seen women turn down really nice affluent guys for complete wasters who've got the gift of the gab and little else and then regret it years down the line.
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Old 11-12-2016, 14:06
WanderinWonder
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I used to wonder about that how such beatiful women end up with some fat ugly men... Yet so many women say they go after looks. Or they're rich...
There's these things called personalities: you might have heard of them? Some people actual fall in love wth someone because of how 'beautiful' they are on the inside.

Clearly a baffling concept to the hordes of superficial sheeple that exist in this world.
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Old 11-12-2016, 14:18
MarellaK
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OP, perhaps they are single by choice and are enjoying their freedom. We don't all need man to 'make us complete'.

I am single and love the freedom and being able to do as I please, whenever I like.

I am not against relationships or men at all - but for me, I prefer not being 'shackled' to another.
Me too, I never ever wanted to get married or live with a man. I said that from when I was very young (a child) but nobody ever believed me, coming from an Irish country background where nearly all the women folk end up married, rearing children.

Even now I'm older, I still get asked why I'm not married. Patients adopt very 'pitying' looks when I tell them I don't have children. I still get asked out occasionally by random men who I meet who think they're in with a chance because I'm single (even though we would have virtually nothing in common). I'm puzzled why they believe my single status is not through my own choice.
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Old 11-12-2016, 14:28
seventhwave
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The only women I know who are single in their late 20s or early 30s seem to be the pickiest. Then again perhaps they are happier being on their own than with someone they consider to be "not right" ... they may feel differently though if alone with no kids at 40 or 50.

I suppose there are hopeful stories out there though, one of my cousins was feeling very jaded after a divorce and went onto Tinder looking for casual sex. One of her would-be hookups is now her fiance with whom she has a new house and adorable stepson, she's happy as the proverbial pig in sh*te
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Old 11-12-2016, 14:30
Nicola32
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Money has to be a factor. The average man is wealthier than the average woman. A wealthy small/medium size business owner might not have the looks or style of a sometimes employed model/actor but he could offer a low paid woman, who may be struggling to pay the bills, financial security. I've seen women turn down really nice affluent guys for complete wasters who've got the gift of the gab and little else and then regret it years down the line.

People put so much emphasis on money these days. For some people it is not the most important thing in life. Yes you need a certain amount of money to have any quality of life but not everyone is driven by money. It always annoys me when people(mostly men) assume that the only reason a woman would be with a guy deemed "unattractive" is because he must be wealthy.

Yes there are women who are gold diggers, I don't dispute that, but there are plenty of women who are not.
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Old 11-12-2016, 15:34
Crooked Heart
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The only women I know who are single in their late 20s or early 30s seem to be the pickiest. Then again perhaps they are happier being on their own than with someone they consider to be "not right" ... they may feel differently though if alone with no kids at 40 or 50.

I suppose there are hopeful stories out there though, one of my cousins was feeling very jaded after a divorce and went onto Tinder looking for casual sex. One of her would-be hookups is now her fiance with whom she has a new house and adorable stepson, she's happy as the proverbial pig in sh*te
BIB She ended up divorced and single again? But, but, she must have been one of those wonderful un-picky woman if she was married in the first place? People like her are supposed to live happily ever after surrounded by babies wabies and a loving darling husband, aren't they?

BIB Yes you're right. Probably better to marry someone you don't love but 'they'll do for now', knock out a couple a kids and then 5 yrs down the line move in with the bloke you've fallen in love with up the street. Tough on the husband and kids, but that's life, eh?

By the way, if a woman is 'alone' by forty, does that mean she has to be 'alone' for the rest of her life? Is that where it all ends?
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Old 11-12-2016, 15:46
Turbulence
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OP, perhaps they are single by choice and are enjoying their freedom. We don't all need man to 'make us complete'.

I am single and love the freedom and being able to do as I please, whenever I like.

I am not against relationships or men at all - but for me, I prefer not being 'shackled' to another.
I couldn't agree more with that. I just know I would hate being in a relationship so much that I wouldn't last a couple of days. I think more people are staying single by choice these days, so there's at least a bigger chance it is that reason compared to thirty or forty years ago.
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Old 11-12-2016, 16:13
tghe-retford
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The only women I know who are single in their late 20s or early 30s seem to be the pickiest. Then again perhaps they are happier being on their own than with someone they consider to be "not right" ... they may feel differently though if alone with no kids at 40 or 50.

I suppose there are hopeful stories out there though, one of my cousins was feeling very jaded after a divorce and went onto Tinder looking for casual sex. One of her would-be hookups is now her fiance with whom she has a new house and adorable stepson, she's happy as the proverbial pig in sh*te
The ONS statistics in living arrangements when population changes are factored out does show a growing number of women choosing to be single, not the case with single men. More and more women are choosing to go it alone, have a child through adoption or IVF and live life without a man. The problem is that there can be social issues for having children grow up without a father figure in their life. Or the same woman may not want children but only want a casual arrangement such as friends with benefits or hook-up via Tinder whilst having a career and social life at the same time. And there'll be women who may not want a relationship or sex with another man.
People put so much emphasis on money these days. For some people it is not the most important thing in life. Yes you need a certain amount of money to have any quality of life but not everyone is driven by money. It always annoys me when people(mostly men) assume that the only reason a woman would be with a guy deemed "unattractive" is because he must be wealthy.

Yes there are women who are gold diggers, I don't dispute that, but there are plenty of women who are not.
There seems to be this idea of gold diggers or nothing. It is not as simple as money, there are many factors. A man's attraction includes the ability to provide for a family - not just whether a man earns as much, preferably more than a woman, but also whether they can provide a safe home for a family, have the ability to drive or get to places, have a good career and the ability to rise up the career ladder and so forth. A man who is middle class, owns their own home and is in a good paid job is going to be more attractive than an unemployed man living with their parents because the former is in a better place to provide a safe and resource plenty environment to raise a family. Things may change to the latter if he gets a job and moves out but that's in the future. Generally, mature men are more attractive than younger men because of this. There is a reason why men tend to lie about their earnings and place in life on dating websites. But there are other factors beyond that, it's not black and white, there is also environment and personal preferences to factor in as well.

Merely simplifying hypergamy to mere gold diggers to dismiss it is fallacious.
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Old 11-12-2016, 16:40
seventhwave
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BIB She ended up divorced and single again? But, but, she must have been one of those wonderful un-picky woman if she was married in the first place? People like her are supposed to live happily ever after surrounded by babies wabies and a loving darling husband, aren't they?
If you're talking about my cousin, she wanted the divorce. Don't know how much of that I'd say was down to "pickiness"; a major factor was that she felt her husband, in his mid-50s was too old for her. They got engaged after a few months together but took 4-5 years to get down the aisle because they were constantly splitting up and reuniting. In retrospect, I suppose that was a sign that it wouldn't work out, but then they both had that much time not to go through with it if they didn't want to ...


BIB Yes you're right. Probably better to marry someone you don't love but 'they'll do for now', knock out a couple a kids and then 5 yrs down the line move in with the bloke you've fallen in love with up the street. Tough on the husband and kids, but that's life, eh?
I didn't say that. I don't approve of anyone, including women, casually "trading in" their spouse and kids because they decide they're bored.

My cultural background treats marriage/kids as pretty much an obligation and something that's done for the benefit of parents and the family, not so much the couple themselves. I tend to agree with that, but I think it's down to the individual.


By the way, if a woman is 'alone' by forty, does that mean she has to be 'alone' for the rest of her life? Is that where it all ends?
I was more referring to the difficulty in having children after that age (if you want them - and despite people saying "just foster/adopt!" it's not that easy to do so.) But generally I do think finding someone is harder the older a woman gets: men almost always go for younger women, and the older you are the more "baggage" you and potential partners will have.
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Old 11-12-2016, 17:45
Doctor_Wibble
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Third page and nobody seems to have mentioned the deliberate smuttiness in brackets in the OP...
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Old 11-12-2016, 19:32
Lyricalis
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Only the cheaper models are unrealistic, you can get much better ones in Japan that even vibrate, so are better than the real thing. Allegedly.

And it's humour like this which explains why I'm such a hit with the ladies.
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