Because he has to make it all about him and his MRA agenda / ulteria motive. The OP likes women whereas tghe-retford doesn't so I don't think tghe-retford is someone the OP should listen to. Tghe-retford is very bitter and the OP sounds like a genuinely nice person and they have nothing in common apart from being single. Of course we all know that not all single men are the same any more than single women are but tghe-retford seems to think all single men are seen in the same way and "creep shamed" or "virgin shamed" like he is. The truth is they're not. Plus there are men and some women who will criticise women who don't look like a page 3 model so it's not just men whose looks are criticised. Tghe-retford just seems to think all women and some men are bullies when I think he doesn't know any women very well whatsoever. If he did he'd see they are all individuals, just people basically.
Anyway back to the OP I wish you luck with meeting new people whether or not it brings you romance.

Great post Pink.

Everyone is an individual - at the end of the day we are all human beings, good and bad.

And giving someone false hope isn't constructive - it's more destructive.

To not make the OP aware of their situation to focus and improve their own life and not put women on a pedestal is cruel and ultimately a negative thing to do.

It is always better to give some a truthful insight into their situation than wrap them up in cotton wool and tell them something that isn't true to their reality.

The fact that people are going down the ad-hominem route of "teh MRAz" instead of debating the ideas (or advice) is a sign that I may have a touched a nerve, not with the OP, which means that I am on the right track - not in winding up, but in providing information which will help people such as the OP in seeing what is wrong and not repeating their mistake further down the line.

You're not helping the OP though. You're subtly criticising him which isn't very nice.
Other people have told him not to put women on a pedestal as women are just people the same as the OP is. Unfortunately where you're concerned you're coming from a place of hate. You hate women. The OP doesn't. You and he are chalk and cheese. What I don't want to see is you slyly putting him down and sucking him into your tiny corner of the internet where you blame all women for your own unhappy situation. Mind you I think the OP is cleverer than that so he'll be fine.

I don't see anybody here giving the op false hope. He has had a variety of advice, and it has mostly been kindly meant but practical and constructive. I don't see how you can read this thread and say he is being wrapped in cotton wool.

The only person talking bollocks here is you.

I have no idea what retford's backstory is - clearly there is something going on of which others here are aware - but as a complete stranger I can state that his posts make 0% sense, my guess most people are just skipping over them. It's a shame the thread has got somewhat derailed by a parallel conversation but hopefully the OP can still extract the useful information from the other posts.

Agreed.

You just need to read elsewhere to see how this particular poster twists the truth and also claim things were said which were not. Wilfully or unknowingly he can interpret things very differently from most people.

There is a mix of advice here and most of it is positive and supportive. It's for the OP to take what he wants from any comments and I hope he has found what he's been given to be useful and thought-provoking and I wish him well.

"A place of hate" - a hyperbolic term derived for extremists who we would reserve for criminals who have committed serious crimes. Are you lumping me in with the worst type of criminals purely because I suggest a man who is putting women on a pedestal needs to focus on his own life and improving his own worth?

Have my ideas been challenged? No. Have I been subject to ad-hominems and personal attacks both here and elsewhere because I disagree with the ideology of others who have dogpiled? Yep. I'd suggest doing the former and not doing the latter. The fact we've both said the same thing and yet when it comes from someone else its fine yet when its from me its "hate" means its gone past ideas and become personal.

And disagreeing with you or anyone with a similar stance is not hatred of women. That has to be demonstrated with solid and substantial evidence.

Deleted

Sigh... Still talking bollocks. And in such terrible, convoluted English. This thread is not about you and your misogyny. Stop twisting things to make yourself the constant victim. Your previous posts demonstrate time and time again your contempt for females and feminism. That's why the OP would do well to ignore everything you say. You are not in the position to be offering anybody advice on relationships.

Exactly. tghe-retford always claims he's simply "disagreed with a feminist" when people call him out on his BS. I don't consider myself a feminist so that isn't true and even if I was it's still not true. I agree that the OP Son Of Purple shouldn't take any advice from tghe-retford at all. I hope Son Of Purple has a great Xmas and New Year. He sounds like a great and genuine guy. I also hope he meets someone he can spend quality time with. I don't meet up with people from online but I must say the OP is someone I'd go for a friendly pint with if I knew him in real life.

I have an issue with ideologies and anything which goes against truth, science and fact.

And feminism =/= women (because you using the term "female" is fine but I use the term "female" its "problematic").

I daresay there is a fair amount of projection - usually those eager to tar others with being misogynistic without evidence are normally masking something. Like those who are quick to use homophobic slurs against gay and lesbian people are usually masking uncertainty of their own sexuality.

How does "lying about stuff on Twitter" fit in with this noble calling?

You always accuse any woman who disagrees with you of being a "feminist". I have male friends, in real life and on various forums and private message several on here. I have had three long term serious relationships and a few shorter ones so I can assure you that you're wrong. I do like men. I have male relatives who are great. I do see though that most of your posting history is quite hateful towards women and as usual you have derailed the thread and turned it into a discussion about yourself and feminism. You seem to think you share something with the OP because he's single. He's nothing like you. I think he's a great guy from what I've read. Like I said he's the sort of bloke I would have a pint with as I think he's interesting, intelligent and good humoured. Lots of people are lonely including people from the forums but they don't turn it into hatred and be at war with half the population. You're not debating you're just trying to win now. The thread is about the OP not you. I like him. He's a genuinely nice person and seems a caring person who has unrequited feelings and shock horror is a man who you claim I dislike simply because I disagree with YOU tghe-retford. The OP has lots going for him, he's a good looking man, a great writer and very articulate. He's just slightly shy but if he gets out more he will meet people and his confidence will grow. I've been shy so I know how he feels.

To the OP I hope you have a great Xmas. Smurfs

So what are your lies on Twitter masking?

And if you want to respond take it pm to free up this thread.

I completely agree with this! I've been trying to work out what retford is trying to say but I've given up. I'm surprised so many others are understanding him (sort of).

All I have gleaned from his posts is that he's bitter about being single. The rest - a lot of words and convoluted sentences makes no sense to me at all. My English teachers always told me to keep my written work simple and to the point - not to confuse and bewilder the reader ....

I'm female, I'm a feminist. You're talking bollocks, you're a stupid **** who has systematically alienated just about every poster on here by spouting quasi-political bull crap. you're fooling nobody except yourself - you're a misogynist and nobody on here seems to have a good word to say about you. There's a 'truthful insight' for you. Goodbye.

He's trying to demonstrate his "self-confessed" [sic] status as an intellectual (this should read "self-appointed"), as per his forum profile :

Biography: A self-confessed intellectual, established narcissist, procrastinator, outspoken skeptic, cynic, armchair campaigner & commentator.

I can think of a few more nouns which could usefully be added to that list

It's because it's a load of internet speak, acronyms and ideas he's picked up from reading other stuff on the internet or watching YouTube. His opinions appear to be totally informed by anything he's found on these mediums that make him feel that he's right about why he's hard done by.
Some people need to just get out and converse with real people once in a while.

At the end me of the day relationships aren't that complicated. They only become so because of the individuals involved making them complicated.

Hahaha

I didn't want to be too rude as I thought he might be a second language English user to account for the missing words (the ones that would make his ramblings make sense). The OP is coming off very well in comparison. Sure he wrote a lot but it was perfectly intelligible.

Yeah, this has started to go a little off-beam. Not going to join in the whole feminism/misogyny war of words as neither stance really ever figured in my actions or intentions, I just wanted to make sure someone I care about feels happy and confident!

I've now had a couple chances to speak to my beautiful colleague, the first occasions since the party; she confirmed that she is currently "in relationship"; obviously if I'd known previously I'd have been able to temper my affections and approach accordingly: I suppose she's just not as open of a book emotionally as I have been! I did ask if I'd come across as creepy and offensive, given that has been a major worry of mine baaed on some of the earlier comments in this thread, but she confirmed that this wasn't her view at all, which did help calm my fears. I did apologise for being so obsessive and for my poor approach to the party, and we came away on good terms, we are and remain friends and I'm very glad to have her in my life. I will continue to support and show affection for someone I care about very much, because her happiness and wellbeing are important to me. Hopefully there will be more opportunities in future to socialise and just have some fun: it's already been suggested that we drag her fella and some of our other colleagues from around the store out to some event or other to celebrate one or t'other of our birthdays...

But that's all in the future. Hopefully along the way I can find the special someone who will be responsive to my desire to give and give; I don't know whether she's under my nose or far away, but I have more faith in finding her than I have in a long time. And a lot of the worry and doubt that persuaded me to snivel out the starting post is now dissipated - things are in a better place. With that in mind I'm willing to let this one start to sink down the grid, and move on towards 2017 ready to take a new approach and stretch myself a bit socially; any further tips on how to be the better man can be bunged on'ere or thru the usual channels. Thanks again to all those who offered assistance, and the very best of the season to all who sail the Advice section!

Good luck to you OP. I'm glad you're in a better place. Remind yourself frequently of all your good qualities, stop putting yourself down and believe in yourself! (Just maybe heed the advice on here and post less personally revealing things on t'internet!) Hope 2017 brings you happiness, friendship and fulfillment.

Thing is, I don't think he is stupid. He's a bit gullible, maybe, and has been led astray by a particularly unpleasant part of the internet. Yes, he's a rape apologist and a misogynist. These are ideas, attitudes and arguments. I know I'm not usually the kindest to him but I do try to argue against those rather than him as a person (I am sure there are times when I've lost my rag, mind you!); though it's not easy when he seems to identify so much with them. People DO grow out of this shit sometimes.

I dunno. I can see him as being like a really bad future version of the OP, who took the wrong advice, sought solace in Reddit and the like and became bitter.

I don't have much time for his shit, but it's really kinda depressing to see that happen to someone. We all give him a ton of shit, and yes, much of it is richly deserved, but it's kind of a tragedy to see so many guys not learning from their mistakes and the shit that life has thrown at them but instead becoming bitter, twisted, yes, I'm gonna say it, ideologues.

tghe-retford- I'm not your biggest fan, as I'm sure you've noticed. But in the spirit of Christmas and goodwill to all men (AND WOMEN), please, please, please stop formulating your worldview from the absolute worst (legal) people on the internet. It doesn't seem to be making you happy. Their arguments are bullshit. Stop looking for (and somehow finding) awful things that people have said to you when the vast majority of of the time they haven't, and start paying slightly more attention to the failings and awfulness of the sites and commenters you seem to treat as Gospel. They are NOT YOUR FRIENDS. They've just co-opted you into their bullshit "culture war". And FFS please try not to do the same to the OP.

And, genuinely, merry Christmas.

And a merry Christmas to you too, sir. You seem like a decent guy who just needs to lighten up a little. You've had some good advice here; mine would be "always think about how your actions will appear to someone who isn't you and hasn't gone through the same thought process as you". TBH I think that's good advice for anyone, including me. Possibly the second most important rule of living in society after "don't be a dick". And the best of luck!