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Bruno: 'Ore's Standing Around was Genius'


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Old 13-12-2016, 14:59
Dancing_Dave
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Did you see what Bruno said to Claudia in the Len's Lens segment of the show about Ore standing around in his dance? I might not have all the exact words they used, one or two may be wrong, but it gives you the gist of things.

Claudia: Now onto Ore. Bruno, was Ore, you know, just standing around doing nothing?

Bruno: Oh no Claudia. You cannot just do that amount of nothing and that amount of standing around and get away with it unless you are masterful and Ore was masterful.

Claudia: So that was brilliant choreography, you know, standing around and looking like he had taken root?

Bruno: Oh yes, brilliant stagnation-ology and immobile-ology.

Claudia: That is a lot of ologies there, so it must have been good?

Bruno: Masterful sedentary perfection ... ology.

Claudia: We need to say again, just in case the viewers have forgotten since we last said five minutes ago, that Ore has not had any dance training.

Bruno: That is right Claudia. Professional dancers usually take years of training to achieve this level of rigor mortis when standing around on the dance floor, but Ore, wow, he has perfected it in just a week. Motionless excellence.

Claudia: Was it like A* grade GCSE standing around, or just A grade?

Bruno: Neither Claudia, it was much better than that, it was empyrean. His face commanded respect as he stood there doing nothing. It oozed confidence of a man knowing his standing about was a work of genius. You could see this was a man who exuded the firm belief the viewers would never see this level of inanimation ever again in their lives. Never again to be seen by human eyes. Easily worthy of a 10.

Claudia: Super. Do you often flash your 10-paddle to people standing about in a bus queue?

Bruno: Only 9s Claudia, only 9s. Ore's stagnation was a 10 because it was so amazing it was as if the King of the Gods, Zeus himself, was waiting for the 5.39pm bus to Olympus after a hard day godding at the office.

Claudia: We are so lucky to have you here Bruno to explain this motionless masterclass to us because us mere mortals would have just wondered, why is that bloke just standing around? Thanks again. Tess, back to you.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:01
penelopesimpson
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Did you see what Bruno said to Claudia in the Len's Lens segment of the show about Ore standing around in his dance? I might not have all the exact words they used, one or two may be wrong, but it gives you the gist of things.

Claudia: Now onto Ore. Bruno, was Ore, you know, just standing around doing nothing?

Bruno: Oh no Claudia. You cannot just do that amount of nothing and that amount of standing around and get away with it unless you are masterful and Ore was masterful.

Claudia: So that was brilliant choreography, you know, standing around and looking like he had taken root?

Bruno: Oh yes, brilliant stagnation-ology and immobile-ology.

Claudia: That is a lot of ologies there, so it must have been good?

Bruno: Masterful sedentary perfection ... ology.

Claudia: We need to say again, just in case the viewers have forgotten since we last said five minutes ago, that Ore has not had any dance training.

Bruno: That is right Claudia. Professional dancers usually take years of training to achieve this level of rigor mortis when standing around on the dance floor, but Ore, wow, he has perfected it in just a week. Motionless excellence.

Claudia: Was it like A* grade GCSE standing around, or just A grade?

Bruno: Neither Claudia, it was much better than that, it was empyrean. His face commanded respect as he stood there doing nothing. It oozed confidence of a man knowing his standing about was a work of genius. You could see this was a man who exuded the firm belief the viewers would never see this level of inanimation ever again in their lives. Never again to be seen by human eyes. Easily worthy of a 10.

Claudia: Super. Do you often flash your 10-paddle to people standing about in a bus queue?

Bruno: Only 9s Claudia, only 9s. Ore's stagnation was a 10 because it was so amazing it was as if the King of the Gods, Zeus himself, was waiting for the 5.39pm bus to Olympus after a hard day godding at the office.

Claudia: We are so lucky to have you here Bruno to explain this motionless masterclass to us because us mere mortals would have just wondered, why is that bloke just standing around? Thanks again. Tess, back to you.
Beautifully written, Dave
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:11
DiamondDoll
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Beautifully written, Dave
I disagree.
I read it as yet another Ore bashing thread.
There are plenty of them already.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:15
OldShep56
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I disagree.
I read it as yet another Ore bashing thread.
There are plenty of them already.
Do you think that's because all these remarks may be true??? There is no smoke without fire and an awful lot of people are making the remark that he just stood about whilst Joanne wafted about him and I'm afraid I tend to agree.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:16
codeblue
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Great op !
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:17
john_skeen
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I got a nice chuckle out of that!
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:19
hansue
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Do you think that's because all these remarks may be true??? There is no smoke without fire and an awful lot of people are making the remark that he just stood about whilst Joanne wafted about him and I'm afraid I tend to agree.
Me too. Would like to know what Vincent and Flavia thought of it.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:26
Monkseal
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Me too. Would like to know what Vincent and Flavia thought of it.
How much is Flavia giving Matt to do here? Really? Beyond walk about a bit looking handsome?
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:28
DianaFire
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Do you think that's because all these remarks may be true???
Nope. It's just bashing, much like it being all Will Young's fault that Claudia isn't in the final. OP had a funny take on it, at least.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:30
yellowlabbie
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Hilarious OP and spot on.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:32
Bless You
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It was the choreographer's fault for the choice of dance.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:36
Angela
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:d:d:d:d
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:38
hansue
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How much is Flavia giving Matt to do here? Really? Beyond walk about a bit looking handsome?
How many marks did they get for that.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:41
Monkseal
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How many marks did they get for that.
35. If the point is regarding what score it's worth then Ramps also got 39, and he didn't "do a lot" either.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:47
hansue
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35. If the point is regarding what score it's worth then Ramps also got 39, and he didn't "do a lot" either.
Are we talking about these two dances being in the semi final. I don't have the knowledge like you do and I know you will have the answer.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:51
Monkseal
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All three dances were done in the semis - Matt got 35, and Mark and Ore got 39. (I wouldn't say Ore's deserved 39 but more because he obviously stumbled and I thought some of the lifts were awkward, not because he was still a lot or didn't move about much. Other than Danny Mac barging around the place like a rhino with an itchy erection, a lot of the ATs done by male celebs on the show feature them not doing a lot - it's more about conveying mood, which I think is what Bruno was trying to say)
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:58
hansue
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All three dances were done in the semis - Matt got 35, and Mark and Ore got 39. (I wouldn't say Ore's deserved 39 but more because he obviously stumbled and I thought some of the lifts were awkward, not because he was still a lot or didn't move about much. Other than Danny Mac barging around the place like a rhino with an itchy erection, a lot of the ATs done by male celebs on the show feature them not doing a lot - it's more about conveying mood, which I think is what Bruno was trying to say)
I love your description of Danny's AT . I think the main issue with Ore's AT is the score he got at such a crucial time and it has led to people thinking that he was overmarked compared to other dances last Saturday.
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Old 13-12-2016, 15:58
VintageWhine
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Let's not mince words: as an AT it was crap. Embarrassing crap.

Even Ola Jordan didn't mince around that much (and that would have been with a truly crap partner).
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Old 13-12-2016, 16:00
DianaFire
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Let's not mince words: as an AT it was crap. Embarrassing crap.

Even Ola Jordan didn't mince around that much (and that would have been with a truly crap partner).
Like most of the audience I can't tell a good dance from a bad one. It doesn't matter; I loved it.
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Old 13-12-2016, 16:06
sofakat
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Did you see what Bruno said to Claudia in the Len's Lens segment of the show about Ore standing around in his dance? I might not have all the exact words they used, one or two may be wrong, but it gives you the gist of things.

Claudia: Now onto Ore. Bruno, was Ore, you know, just standing around doing nothing?

Bruno: Oh no Claudia. You cannot just do that amount of nothing and that amount of standing around and get away with it unless you are masterful and Ore was masterful.

Claudia: So that was brilliant choreography, you know, standing around and looking like he had taken root?

Bruno: Oh yes, brilliant stagnation-ology and immobile-ology.

Claudia: That is a lot of ologies there, so it must have been good?

Bruno: Masterful sedentary perfection ... ology.

Claudia: We need to say again, just in case the viewers have forgotten since we last said five minutes ago, that Ore has not had any dance training.

Bruno: That is right Claudia. Professional dancers usually take years of training to achieve this level of rigor mortis when standing around on the dance floor, but Ore, wow, he has perfected it in just a week. Motionless excellence.

Claudia: Was it like A* grade GCSE standing around, or just A grade?

Bruno: Neither Claudia, it was much better than that, it was empyrean. His face commanded respect as he stood there doing nothing. It oozed confidence of a man knowing his standing about was a work of genius. You could see this was a man who exuded the firm belief the viewers would never see this level of inanimation ever again in their lives. Never again to be seen by human eyes. Easily worthy of a 10.

Claudia: Super. Do you often flash your 10-paddle to people standing about in a bus queue?

Bruno: Only 9s Claudia, only 9s. Ore's stagnation was a 10 because it was so amazing it was as if the King of the Gods, Zeus himself, was waiting for the 5.39pm bus to Olympus after a hard day godding at the office.

Claudia: We are so lucky to have you here Bruno to explain this motionless masterclass to us because us mere mortals would have just wondered, why is that bloke just standing around? Thanks again. Tess, back to you.
Very funny. Thank you
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Old 13-12-2016, 16:08
Nina_Blake
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Poetry in motionless

P.s. - I am just kidding! Didn't think Ore was as bad as some make out. The QS was great.
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Old 13-12-2016, 16:10
sofakat
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How much is Flavia giving Matt to do here? Really? Beyond walk about a bit looking handsome?
Hmmmm. That was quite clever. She made it look like he knew what he was doing, while she led the whole thing. Nice to see a couple in proper hold for once! Clever volcada from her, considering the man should instigate it.

Smart Flavia.
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Old 13-12-2016, 16:14
sofakat
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Let's not mince words: as an AT it was crap. Embarrassing crap.

Even Ola Jordan didn't mince around that much (and that would have been with a truly crap partner).
Quite. And no one else did the Harpie with rabies impersonation either. All that snarling and glowering from Joanne.

Clearly thought she was doing ballroom tango with the usual teeth baring gurning so beloved of competitive ballroom people. Why smile when you can, with the right weird head position, make sure the potentially blinding arc lights bounce off your crowns?
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Old 13-12-2016, 16:15
Moany Liza
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All three dances were done in the semis - Matt got 35, and Mark and Ore got 39. (I wouldn't say Ore's deserved 39 but more because he obviously stumbled and I thought some of the lifts were awkward, not because he was still a lot or didn't move about much. Other than Danny Mac barging around the place like a rhino with an itchy erection, a lot of the ATs done by male celebs on the show feature them not doing a lot - it's more about conveying mood, which I think is what Bruno was trying to say)


*snorts*

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Old 13-12-2016, 16:17
Gary Baldi
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I thought Ore was moving around quite a lot in the AT ( and was certainly not static with Joanne simply dancing around him as some claim. They need to watch it again and pay more attention) and I felt there was a lot of intricate skill and effective co-ordination involved in their footwork and how well their body movements synchronised together or complemented each other so well and they created a movement and rhythm that perfectly matched the song. I loved it.
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