"HEY..Winthorpe.."

Poor old Santa he only gets to empty his sac once a year and that's down the chimney.

I farted on a kitten so I've been put on the naughty list, no presents for me.

Jingle bollox. Jingle bollox. What a load of crap. Here comes that fat f**ker again, with his sack of cack.

Nah his sack is shrinking as we speak!! Only a week left to redeem yourself and be a good girl!

Give the old codger a break. He's probably completely drained. Spreading his gifts of joy to all and sundry is a massive undertaking.

...not overly keen on Xmas then?

Christmas time.

Misery and whine.

Little brats screaming - give me what's mine!

Some logs on the pyre, a noose for the tree.

Time to despair at the bills that we see.

Etc.

Noose is slightly dark.

He'll bring you a big bag of innuendo, aka Italian suppositories.

Just one cornetto...

Give it to meeeeee

Pmsl at these replies

No carrots, nor other large pointy orange things, it's an elfen safety issue ........

I once wrote to santa, asking him to cure my dyslexia.... I sent it to satan by mistake....

Not very.

Sister has cancelled Christmas from her place as my brother in law's mother died beginning of October.
So basically any presents I get will have been bought by me.

Satna can’t cure dylsexia,…or anything else for that matter ;

…you should put your faith in the lord Dog almighty.

OP's title reminds me of Charlotte Church's Xmas theme tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpRDlj9jzn0

A pressie for the funniest post today

Aw, sorry re that as I'd like to get you a pressie, and am sure most of the Thread and forum would as well. I had cancelled Christmas, but looks like hub's family haven't, and we got cards and pressies, so had to go out and get cards for them. Hub wants to get me a pressie but can only think of 2 so far, and don't fancy going out to get them So you get your red sack and wait for the pressies to roll into it

That's good, can we have some more.

I died.