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Have you ever been in a Teresa-no-mates situation? |
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: a whimsical world
Posts: 20,959
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Have you ever been in a Teresa-no-mates situation?
When I was at uni I went along to the first meet of a society that I had joined at freshers fayre.. Everyone else seem to know each other, or had a companion. I sat by myself for a while, then left and never went back. I'm sure I wasn't missed.
Also, if you see someone at a party by themselves, would you make an effort to go up and talk to them? Or would you ignore them as an oddball loser? I think people are instinctively tribal and so I think most people would ignore.
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#2 |
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 18,703
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Nearly 20 years ago I was at a fashion event in Dublin. It was all very luvvie and I was very, very green and young and out of my depth. I sat down and this gorgeous little blonde came over and sat beside me and chatted away. She seemed to know everyone in the room but she didn't leave my side and we'd a great natter. She told me she was working on her first book.
This woman had clearly seen that I was at a total loss and made it her business to keep me company for the afternoon - though she didn't know me from Adam. Her name was Cathy Kelly and she was at the time a journalist with the Sunday World. She has since published numerous novels and I've gladly and delightedly bought every one of them. They're not completely my cup of tea but I find her characterisation of women delightful and not even remotely surprising as she is an absolute darling. I've never met her since but I'd like to thank her for what she did that day.
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: a whimsical world
Posts: 20,959
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What a genuinely nice person she is. I hope she reads that.
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#4 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11,776
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I went to a friend's leaving do and didn't know anyone there. Everyone else knew at least one or two other people and I felt very awkward all evening. It's kind of put me off socialising at those type of things.
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 68,941
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Quote:
Nearly 20 years ago I was at a fashion event in Dublin. It was all very luvvie and I was very, very green and young and out of my depth. I sat down and this gorgeous little blonde came over and sat beside me and chatted away. She seemed to know everyone in the room but she didn't leave my side and we'd a great natter. She told me she was working on her first book.
This woman had clearly seen that I was at a total loss and made it her business to keep me company for the afternoon - though she didn't know me from Adam. Her name was Cathy Kelly and she was at the time a journalist with the Sunday World. She has since published numerous novels and I've gladly and delightedly bought every one of them. They're not completely my cup of tea but I find her characterisation of women delightful and not even remotely surprising as she is an absolute darling. I've never met her since but I'd like to thank her for what she did that day. ![]() |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 102
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At work, a few years ago, I was somehow put on a week-long training course that was more intended for managers and higher ups. Being the lowly grunt that I was, I didn't know a single person there and once they found out my position, they ignored and avoided me for the duration of the course. I mean cold stares when I said good morning, not being invited to join them for lunch and ignoring my ideas in the classroom. Ideas which turned out to be more effective than their own but hey ho, I just wasn't cool enough.
When describing their own qualities, each one of the lying sods described themselves as being friendly and polite too! |
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 59,689
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Pretty much at every conference I've ever been to. I'm fine if I know people or if I get introduced to someone new but I'm rubbish at walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation. I just hang around waiting for someone to take pity on me.
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#8 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 159
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Plenty times, but it's no big deal.
Teresa was, for a tiny amount of time, on her own in a room full of people, whether she's the prime minister or a mere mortal, it's all part of life's rich pageantry . |
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lost
Posts: 43,320
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I remember going to a work meal and ending up at a table with 4 people I'd never met before, including the creepiest guy I've ever met. I had trouble finding a parking spot, and ended up just having to sit in what appeared to be the only spare seat left.
This one particular guy started getting drunk started going on about how attractive Hermione was, which I thought was a girlfriend or work colleague of his. It turned out his obsession was with Hermione from the Harry Potter books, which might have been sweet if he was 12 or so, but he must have been at least 50. Bear in mind this was back when the second Harry Potter film was released, so we're not even talking barely legal here (which would have been bad enough). He just seemed completely oblivious to the looks the rest of the table were sharing while he kept going on about how beautiful and intelligent she was, as well as plenty of things that I won't repeat because no one needs those images in their head. I've never actually been in a position where everyone has ignored or excluded me, but then again I'm not a Tory. |
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,282
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I have been in this situation. My advice is to get two drinks. If the person who is alone is really dull or just weird, you have the excuse to move on as you can claim you were getting a drink for someone. On the other hand, if they are worth talking to, simply drink both drinks.
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#11 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Work, probably..
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I'm the drunken lark who goes over to anyone sat on their own at do's. Most probably don't mind, but I'm never too intrusive, just chatty. Hate being on my own so much so that in the 6 years at my job, I've never had lunch in the staff room. I know everyone there but I'm in a totally different part of the team to everyone and I'd be sat on my own.
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 6,941
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The no-mates thing is a pretty awful developed social complex, social inferiority, which I think is fed by silly sitcoms on TV. I think its actually quite common.
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Southern East Anglia
Posts: 75,216
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Quote:
When I was at uni I went along to the first meet of a society that I had joined at freshers fayre.. Everyone else seem to know each other, or had a companion. I sat by myself for a while, then left and never went back. I'm sure I wasn't missed.
Also, if you see someone at a party by themselves, would you make an effort to go up and talk to them? Or would you ignore them as an oddball loser? I think people are instinctively tribal and so I think most people would ignore. ![]() As far as the society you joined, I bet if you'd stuck around and become a familiar face, you would have made friends after not too long. That's what I do with things like that. You can't usually expect to be Mr/s popularity at the first visit. |
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Suffolk
Posts: 21,390
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All the time. My mobile phone is my friend as I studiously study Facebook and emails for something to do - and not look so lonely.
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#15 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Work, probably..
Posts: 3,837
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Quote:
All the time. My mobile phone is my friend as I studiously study Facebook and emails for something to do - and not look so lonely.
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Suffolk
Posts: 21,390
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Quote:
I used to pretend to have phone calls, that's when I knew it was bad and needed to sort my life out.
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#17 |
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,433
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Many times.
I've joined groups and have known nobody there. It's awkward then when they're having a break and I'm just sat there doing nothing (or having a drink or checking my phone) and everyone else is talking. Not too keen on small talk or random people just coming up to me either. |
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: London
Posts: 602
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Quote:
When I was at uni I went along to the first meet of a society that I had joined at freshers fayre.. Everyone else seem to know each other, or had a companion. I sat by myself for a while, then left and never went back. I'm sure I wasn't missed.
Also, if you see someone at a party by themselves, would you make an effort to go up and talk to them? Or would you ignore them as an oddball loser? I think people are instinctively tribal and so I think most people would ignore. ![]() The only issue I’ve had is that even with people who would consider themselves my friends, I would often stand elsewhere in a bar or party and wait for them to approach me as I always felt like I was imposing on their company (even though they’d laugh at the idea of it). Odd, I know. |
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#19 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,779
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Regardless of political stance, that video of Teresa May on her own made for uncomfortable viewing.
If I feel someone is having an awkward time, I'll always try and make things better. I wish people had done the same for me in the past. I've been left in horrible lonely positions before 😢 |
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#20 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London Town
Posts: 160
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Quote:
All the time. My mobile phone is my friend as I studiously study Facebook and emails for something to do - and not look so lonely.
I'd just started working at a company and had to go to an overseas conference representing our department. At the Pre-conference drinks everyone who'd been at the company for years knew each other and were all talking and I was kind of left in my own trying to edge closer to a particular group so I didn't seem to be just stood there in the middle of the room with a glass of wine in my hand |
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#21 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,564
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lol are you talking about my whole life?
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#22 |
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Nelson Mandela House- Peckham
Posts: 3,478
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I'm not in these situations most of the time but on Friday night I was. It was my friends fiance's 30th and we went for some drinks. I know knew her and him, it was fun when they were talking to me and laughing but a bit boring when his family and his work mates didn't include me in conversations I found myself going on FB on my phone it felt awkward.
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#23 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London Town
Posts: 160
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I was the Maid-of-Honour at the wedding of a friend from University, we were good friends but lived in different cities and had completely different circles of friends
So the wedding dinner and evening was Hers and His frends and relatives of whom I knew non and had to fend off the drunken attention of various Male guests |
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#24 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,283
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Quote:
I used to pretend to have phone calls, that's when I knew it was bad and needed to sort my life out.
Quote:
I actually think I've done that before
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#25 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 12,197
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Heres hoping Teresa finds her Billy.
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