yes it`s never been an issue in my world to say you havn`t got enough petrol or money and how much you`ll need. ever.

but most people offer it anyway surely? i rarely ask anyone for a lift but i always start with "if i give you the petrol money could you....."

and i always offer to halves up even if it`s where someone is going anyhow.

After quite a few annoying instances, the only people to come in my car are invited by me, and they will not pay anything.

Whys it not relevant? It is the entire cost to be able to run a car. Not to mention the hours actually learnt to train to run it. A bus service cost is just the petrol?

But the circumstances, this guy says 'can we go there, I'll pay the petrol', then doesn't. Only reason I drove 14 miles yesterday.

the best way to avoid that is to go to a petrol station as soon as he gets in the car so he can put the petrol in.

When I was 17-19ish to get lifts to work i'd have to get to a certain point where my shift leader would give me a lift, what did I do to repay for it was beers and since my dad had a news agents i'd bring in papers and every now and again i'd just give him a ten/twenty quid note and tell him to slap it in the tank even though he was going past the pick up point anyway.

No reason to tar all passengers with the same brush just because you're a bit of a mug and don't have the guts to stand up to "this guy" though.

what its to do with standing up to him- as if some knuckle-encounter. That's completely stupid. It's a friend, its not wanting to be petty, seen as a skinflint for asking. It should be their duty that they should actually donate.

Standing up to someone can be in the form of a perfectly civil conversation. Viewing it only as a knuckle-encounter is of your own making.

Was going to say something similar.

If the expectation to share some of the petrol cost hasn't been mentioned prior to the journey starting, then it's unfair for the driver to lay this expectation on their passenger.

I never expect payment for giving somebody a lift, irrespective of if I've offered or they've asked. However, there has been a few instances where a banknote of some description has been thrust into my hand or a belated thank you drink is plonked down in front of me, which is always a nice gesture.

You don't.

If giving people lifts is an irritant to you, just stop doing it.

I give people lifts if they're going in the same direction as me at the same time, and all I have to do is drop them off, as it makes no difference to me anyway. But in any event, I wouldn't expect payment.

I get a lift from a Uni friend as she drives past my house so there's no point in both of us driving. She has all day parking due to being a disable badge holder so it is easier. It is only a 5-10 minute journey but I did offer to pay once but she made it clear that she would not take any money.

Because all of those things you'd still be paying for even if you didn't give them a lift. Petrol and your time are the only things that are additional.

If you were prepared to go 14 miles out of your way and wanted to guarantee petrol money that had just been offered then you could have stopped at a petrol station enroute.

I can understand you being a bit annoyed if they offered petrol money to get the lift then at the end just got out.
As you say they're a friend is it possible they're going to give you the money later on?

And as others have said, if you don't bring it up then it's likely you won't get it. Either because your friend will genuinely forget or because they've realised you're a soft touch who won't say anything or possibly think that as you've not asked you've let them off paying it.

I don't ask or expect petrol money but some people do take the piss. I was once working for festival radio at a large music festival and two volunteers asked if they came to a road near where i lived in South London would i give them a lift, so i said sure no problem be there at x o'clock. When i got there only one was there the other one was apparently in Oxford (way out of the way ) could i go to a park and ride place outside the city to pick him up. So being young and trying to help i drove the equivalent of london to reading out of my way to pick this guy up. We got there and he wasn't there, he was still in bed could i go to the city centre to pick him up. As i'd gone all that way out of my way i thought i might as well. Got to the place right in the city centre and he still hadn't got his arse out of bed. When he finally arrived he moaned all the way to Ledbury and didn't even have the manners to say thank you (never mind offer any petrol money for driving all over the home counties to find him) when i drove him to the exact spot he was pitching his tent.

If that happened now and he hadn't turned up I wouldn't have gone searching for him like i did. It does however show how you try to be nice and do a favour and people completely take the mickey.

****ing hell!

Yes, that really is taking the piss big time. Had I been you, I probably wouldn't have minded so much if he'd at least said "sorry for putting you out, my bad, and thank you very much indeed" - even if no money was offered. But the unappreciative, whingeing bit would have seriously bugged me, more so than the London to Reading type inconvenience.

London to Reading = roughly 36 miles iirc, by train from Paddington anyway.

The underlined bit is how i felt absolutely!!!

There was another guy around the same time in my class at college who lived not far from me. He would always ask for a lift when it was raining. Every single time i gave him a lift he would complain about cars and how i should be riding a bike to college blah blah blah, the final straw was when he complained my windscreen wipers were making too much noise!!! I stopped the car and said you have a choice here stop lecturing and moaning or get out the effing car now. He shut up. I never gave him a lift again.

you`re too nice, i`d have rung him and said you`ll meet me somewhere on my way or you`ll find another way to get there, bloody cheek.

Oh yes now if i turned up and he wasn't there i'd just go on my merry way.

It is an extreme example of what others have mentioned though, you try to be nice and agree to something to help someone out and then the person you're doing the favour for starts changing the terms of the original agreement and treat you as if you are somehow their paid employee.

Good for you !

it makes you feel like a mug doesn`t it.

Exactly.
Thinking about it now, i wonder how he got home.

i wouldn`t give it two thoughts if i were you.

having teenagers is good practice for this sort of thing, it sharpens up the "are you taking the piss?" reflex.

It boils down to being taken advantage of which nobody likes to experience

If I offer a lift I don't expect money a thank you is enough, if someone asks for a lift I do it only if I want to I often say no sorry, but I wouldn't expect payment if they offer it doesn't change the no to a yes either.

Suppose there are two neighbours A and B, who mainly use their cars to drive to the same place of work.

They decide they can both go in A's car. B subsequently sells his car and now can get to work with the cost only of petrol money! No paying for all those other costs, of breakdown cover, or unexpected repair bills. Nor having to actually drive (just snooze while the other does so). And actually, A would have had to pay for most of the petrol anyway; should B pay anything at all?

Or put another way: both A and B currently take taxis to work. B asks to share A's taxi. But since A was paying for his taxi anyway, what contribution should B make?