When I was very young and actually ran a car while I was still at school, a contribution for petrol if we all went out in my car for a day was quite an important and serious issue. If people weren't willing to contribute to the petrol cost then we couldn't go out, it was that simple.

I did actually know someone, who wasn't really a friend of mine, who regularly and deliberately used to run out of petrol in his car if people weren't willing to contribute! He did this to make a point, but, I have to say, it isn't something I have ever done, nor would I.

I also, once again, when I was very young, used to give a couple of people a lift to-and-from work which did lead to certain "payment issues", so I stopped doing it.

Thankfully, in this day and age, I'm not exactly living on the breadline and would never think of asking anyone I gave a lift to for any payment whatsoever.

And those that choose not to drive and need to get somewhere - that's there problem.

BIB, surely you mean an extra hour, or less. If it takes you a day to travel 32 miles, you've not started the engine.

Perhaps the normal daily journey was also about 32 miles, 4 days a week.

The extra mileage would then be equivalent to driving to work and back for an extra day.

He took the p***. Only you can do something about it.

If your dropping somebody off on your way, then youd have been going past their anyway.

If your going out of your way, thats a different kettle of fish....

If you look at that specific set of circumstances in a certain way, it can seem that neighbour B is getting the best deal and should perhaps contribute more but I don't really see it that way. Neighbour A owns the car and can withdraw offering a lift at any time, I doubt neighbour B would sell his car with that possibility in mind as well as all the other conveniences which owning your own car gives you. If they were to share car ownership then that would be completely different and all costs should be split down the middle.

All the costs associated with owning a car are the same whether or not you give people lifts, it may more in fuel if you have to go out of your way to pick up a passenger. You could argue that any additional mileage incurred through giving lifts adds to vehicle wear and tear and should be costed but think that's going too far. I personally think it's reasonable to only share fuel costs, the exact share of that cost would depend on the circumstances but using your example of neighbours, it should be 50/50. In that example, the ideal solution would be that they both kept their cars and took turns driving each other to work. They could work out a daily fuel cost for their particular cars and charge the passenger 50% of that, they would both save money and this would be fair.

With the taxi, it should also be a 50/50 should of the fare, if B disagrees then A should tell B to keep taking his own taxi to work.

This issue is all about being decent and fair, most decent people wouldn't think it's fair for them to get free transport and would offer something towards the cost.

The only time I'd ask for it is if all the following factors are satisfied.

1. I wasn't making the trip anyway.
2. The trip is over 10 miles.
3. The trip is a regular occurence.
4. There is no return favour in any form.

If any single one of these is not the case, then I wouldn't bother.

However, if it is, just bring it up casually.

"Can you help me out with the petrol money, pal?"

If you get no favourable response, then no longer offer your services.

I am assuming a lot here as your post wasn't the clearest.

I give a guy a lift home at least once a week after playing pool. It takes me about 2.5 miles out of my way with only about 5 minutes added to my journey & I would never dream of asking for petrol money for that sort of trip.
He does insist on buy a beer for me every so often, not so much as compensation but as a thank you. If I Didn't give him a lift it would mean he couldn't drink, he'd have to get a taxi at about £6-8 a time or his wife would have to not make the most of her quiet time without him and forego the couple of glasses of wine! He does often offer to chip in but I won't take it.
If I was going miles & miles out of my way & adding loads of time to my journey I probably wouldn't offer the lift or accept some petrol money.
Years ago when I first started driving I'd gives mates a lift home from work adding 30 minutes to my journey and wouldn't care at all. Loved driving and enjoyed the time in the car just chatting rubbish and then blasting music out all the way home. I would even detour myself just to keep listening to my music (still do occasionally!) as I was having a lot of fun. Think I did +40 miles extra in a big loop one night and got home t about 2am!

In one of the OP's later posts he said this:

"But the circumstances, this guy says 'can we go there, I'll pay the petrol', then doesn't. Only reason I drove 14 miles yesterday."

So it sounds like the person asking for the lift stated they'd pay petrol for the OP to go out of their way.... then reneged on this once they'd got to their destination.

I have been asked for money for petrol before, which was fine. I do remember asking my sister for a lift (she did offer and I was checking if she could still do it) and my dad said "I hope you're going to give her some petrol money for that?" And yes, I did.

I have offered to give money to a friend before and he has declined. But he did say both times, he was going that way anyway.

I always offer and insist on paying a "token" even if its only a lift to the shops ...the actual cost of the journey is insignificant to the cost of the input from the person doing the driving.

Obviously for a long(er) journey then you pay at least petrol costs. Does anyone really expect a free taxi service?

Some people actually do. I used to work in a huge distribution centre and would occasionally be approached for lifts by people I only half knew. Usually I'd happily oblige but there were a few who would treat you as their own personal taxi.

Wanting to stop at Tescos to buy cigarettes, fair enough I drop them by the door and by the time I've circled the carpark they are back. But they would take it as an opportunity to do their shopping!

I wouldn't expect petrol money for giving someone the odd lift here and there.

If I got into an arrangement where I was giving someone a lift in and out of work every day, I would expect some gesture of appreciation. But I always avoid these things as I hate being tied to a time and place; having to make phone calls to change arrangements if I get suddenly delayed etc.

It also annoys me if I've arranged to bring someone somewhere and when I arrive I'm expected to hang around for ten minutes while they finish getting ready. If someone's collecting me I'm standing by the door with my coat on five minutes before they're due.

I sadly know of a few people like that and my old housemate was a bugger for it.

I'd tell him to be ready to leave at 7 and chances are he wouldn't have start getting ready at 5 to. Always busy playing on his Xbox.

It came as a surprise to him after many warnings he couldn't find me in the house and my car was gone 20 minutes after I said I was leaving

I've never had this problem when I give someone a lift they always automatically offer me petrol money and most times far to much that I have to argue but they still insist.

Perhaps the problem is you, even when I refuse they still leave money in the car so I have to take it.

Some great responses, thanks


You are probably right. Anyway was going to get him a present for christmas- save some money now- just send a card



Interesting scenario. I am wondering if I should get rid of the car- its been shown people who don't own a car actually do much better money wise because it costs an arm and a leg for a car and associated expenses these days. Mind your buses are ripoff generally.


Thats a good rule of thumb a 10 mile journey then requesting a contribution.

I don't ask for money for a one off lift, especially if it's the same place as I am going.
If it's a regular thing though, that's a bit different.

So the things bug are people who are not ready on time, or do a spot of shopping while your waiting for them, but the issue of cash......when they don't have a few quid, but some how afford plenty of other stuff, iPhone 7, extensive tattoos, smoking & drinking, etc etc, tbh I don't see why I should bail you out because u make poor choices, if you live somewhere with poor public transport I would have thought getting mobile would have been near the top of the todo list.

It depends on the situation. My best friend asks me to go places with her in her car, so she never usually asks for petrol. The one time she did, we were going on a weekend away and I happily contributed. If I asked for regular lifts, I'd be happy to pay too.

My parents live very remotely in the Lake District, and they used to get lost walkers coming to their house (first one for miles) having come down the mountain the wrong way. Usually at that point, they’d walked miles out of their way and it was far too late to correct it and you couldn’t possibly get a taxi to their house, so my dad would give them a lift to their actual end point – which could be up to an hour away because the roads go around.

Now my dad being a lovely person, he’d give the lift for free regardless. Once, the walkers talked amongst themselves, didn’t engage with him the whole journey, then the guy said ‘thanks squire’ and gave him a paltry fiver from a wallet stuffed with nots when he dropped them off. My dad wouldn’t ask for money, but being treated like appallingly badly paid staff was beyond the pale. I’d have ditched them in the nearest safe place they could get a taxi.



My only bad one has been when I gave my boyfriend's cousin a lift to a wedding. Like with yours, they changed the pickup destination when I was en route to a pub near their house. My boyfriend went in to fetch them and when they got in the car they didn't even say hello to me. On the drive they complained about the space in the car, then didn't say thanks when they arrived. Then when they were buying rounds trying to sh*g some girl at the wedding later they 'forgot' to get me a drink, at which point my boyfriend pointedly gave me the drink they'd bought him, and steered me away before I punched them.

that`s awful, they deserved a night on the hills.

bib: my oldest girl sings in a choir and used to give lifts to venues happily enough [she`s in a different choir now] but there was one girl who moaned about everything and no one ever challenged her because they thought she would crack them - my daughter is fairly patient but she`s got my end of fuse and she doesn`t take shit from anyone either - said girl was heartily shocked when her patience ran out and she pulled over and told her in no uncertain profanity, she never took the piss again.

Yes I totally agree with you. You stuck to your end of the bargain and they didnt stick to theirs.