Cleopatra had a similiar idea according to Hollywood

But on a present day thought, what could be done is to go to a neighbour and ask them to come to your house, so that you have a witness with you, then ring the police and tell them of the female. But whatever you do don't wake her up. Get your camera and take as many photos of the scene, as the photos would have a time on each of them. If female at any time said she had marks on her, and if the photos didn't show them, then she's lying. Using photos goes a long way of proving innocence.


Here's a wild idea to use another time....if you find someone who is not supposed to be in your house, go back outside and scream the place down so that the neighbours rush out to see what's going on and you then tell them you have an intruder. But don't forget to use the camera as that will show the time. When cops arrive and see the sleeping female, they might think you knocked her out, but they'll have to prove it, and if you've got the photos showing when you arrived at your house, it should be ok for you.

Leave them alone and phone the police.

Some pretty wild imaginations in this thread. Just call the police. 'Normal' people rarely do this, it's often alcoholics, or people on drugs or people with mental health issues. There welfare if just as important.

As for throwing water on someone, while not pleasant or recommended, might be justified in some circumstances (very unlikely to get you arrested if in your own home with an intruder). In other circumstances it might not be reasonable. No definitive answer.

Border force officers with grenades? I don't think so. And they rarely carry guns, probably normal officers supporting border force.

Some stupid bint pr***ing on about "copping my house" would be shown the door, the lawn, and the sidewalk in very short order. And too frigging bad if she did not like it.

I'd agree with MM, if they're asleep and snoring off a barrel of beer then leave it to the police as they're paid for it and no one wants to wake up some snowflake who's only word she knows is 'rape' without someone to backup your story.

Theres generally 2 types of drunks the sort who are nice and quiet and realistically you'd give them the walk of shame and the nut job psychos where you need 3-4 people with a riot shield or 2. The only problem is working out what sort of drunk you have on your sofa and how to deal with them which generally comes down to the local law enforcement and how much you may want your front room trashed should things go wrong.

But it should be said doing the basics like locking doors and windows will go a long way to stopping someone fancying a kip on your sofa.

Same here. Actually I did find a woman on my sofa a couple of months back so I dragged my son out of bed and got him to deal with the woman he'd brought home!

You may well be right, but they announced themselves as Border Control. They were all tooled up like I said, just like the armed response teams, which funnily enough have also paid a visit to my house, due to a suspected stabbing incident, which in the end turned out to be a fall.

No less than 3 armed response vehicles, 1 ambulance and 2 'normal' police cars, IIRC.

The neighbours were most bemused.

I'd find grenades as we generally think of them aka big booms a bit of an anathema for the police as they normally need to be able to prove 'why' they did something as thats why they normally use semi-automatic weapons as they need to be able to explain in court the reason behind every press of the weapon.

Flash bangs and other non lethal sort of things I can accept as being available should the officer need it but its in the dodgy area.

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure no UK force issue frag grenades. They do carry smoke and flash bangs usually.