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Old 21-12-2016, 15:38
wench
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My BF took in his ex's cat about 4 months ago and since day one Gizmo (aka pissy pants) has taken a dislike to me and I don't know how to change this.

I know animals can detect hatred in someone and so I've always made an extra fuss of him when I can, but he still attacks me randomly and hisses at me when I walk past him sometimes.
However bizarrely, he will only sleep on my side of the bed (if he manages to sneak into our bedroom), sits at my end of the sofa and also loves sleeping on my dressing gown, so the BF says that he does like me really, which I don't believe.

The problem is, that if he is sat on my end of the sofa (on the arm or the recliner bit by my feet) then I have to be constantly on alert as he will randomly lash out and scratch me to shreds! I have now got a ridiculous amount of scars on my arms and legs now!

How can I make him like me more, or more specifically, how can I stop him from attacking me??
I feed him, I pet him whenever I'm near him, I give him loads of dreamies, I play with him etc etc yet he only sits on my BF's lap, never on mine, and he has never attacked my bf, so I have no idea what I'm doing wrong!

Oh he also hates the dog, even though the poor dog has only ever tried to be friends, but I just put that down to him not liking any dogs.
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Old 21-12-2016, 19:33
chrisjr
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Sounds like the cat my parents had in the 90's. She was very much dad's cat. No-one else in the family got a look in, she could be a miserable little sod with anyone else. If your cat is anything like dad's was then you may as well start looking for a new fella with a more accommodating pet

Years and years of opening tins of Whiskas on demand had no effect on the cat. She would happily follow dad round the garden and in the house only his lap was good enough for her. Every one else was either totally ignored - unless she wanted feeding - or treated with utter contempt.

So don't hold your breath...
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Old 22-12-2016, 09:13
Andrew1954
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Cats are perverse. I read somewhere that cats are attracted to people who ignore them, but are unfriendly to people who try to befriend them. So maybe that's your answer, wench. Ignore it!
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Old 22-12-2016, 09:29
Shrike
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I think you maybe in one of those vicious circles where you're anticipating an attack, so subconsciously sending out signals which the cat interprets as you preparing for an attack on him so he lashes out.
Try not to stare at him - cats see this as aggression. However a brief look, ending with a slow blink and looking off to the side is a cat "hello".
Don't go in for a stroke from above. In fact its probably best to let him come to you, if he doesn't then don't push it.
You could try watching some episodes of "My cat from hell" on Animal planet - its actually quite a common problem.
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Old 22-12-2016, 09:35
Shrike
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Cats are perverse. I read somewhere that cats are attracted to people who ignore them, but are unfriendly to people who try to befriend them. So maybe that's your answer, wench. Ignore it!
From the cat's perspective strangers coming right up to it, making a lot of movement, trying to grab it or pick it up, is all very aggressive. Domestic cats are quite low on the pecking order and in the wild would often fall prey to large animals like us. So a calm stranger, not actively trying to interact with it, will seem a better bet.
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Old 22-12-2016, 10:59
wench
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Sounds like the cat my parents had in the 90's. She was very much dad's cat. No-one else in the family got a look in, she could be a miserable little sod with anyone else. If your cat is anything like dad's was then you may as well start looking for a new fella with a more accommodating pet

Years and years of opening tins of Whiskas on demand had no effect on the cat. She would happily follow dad round the garden and in the house only his lap was good enough for her. Every one else was either totally ignored - unless she wanted feeding - or treated with utter contempt.

So don't hold your breath...
Oh great!!

My dog recently had an allergy test and I was praying she was allergic to the cat which would give us a prime reason to rehome the cat....... I was not that lucky unfortunately!!
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Old 22-12-2016, 11:04
wench
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Cats are perverse. I read somewhere that cats are attracted to people who ignore them, but are unfriendly to people who try to befriend them. So maybe that's your answer, wench. Ignore it!
Its hard to ignore when he has his claws dug into your skin but I will try

BF fusses him and he loves it, I fuss him and he walks away.....This is why I call him pissy pants
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Old 22-12-2016, 11:07
Trulytrue
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Oh great!!

My dog recently had an allergy test and I was praying she was allergic to the cat which would give us a prime reason to rehome the cat....... I was not that lucky unfortunately!!

Not the dog? Sounds like the cat can tell real love from fake love,
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Old 22-12-2016, 11:28
wench
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I think you maybe in one of those vicious circles where you're anticipating an attack, so subconsciously sending out signals which the cat interprets as you preparing for an attack on him so he lashes out.
Try not to stare at him - cats see this as aggression. However a brief look, ending with a slow blink and looking off to the side is a cat "hello".
Don't go in for a stroke from above. In fact its probably best to let him come to you, if he doesn't then don't push it.
You could try watching some episodes of "My cat from hell" on Animal planet - its actually quite a common problem.
He only allows stroking of the head and neck, dare to stroke any other part of him and be prepared to lose an arm.

Its hard not to be nervous, its been 4 months of him coming up to me on the sofa, nudging my hand with his head, and as soon as I go to give him a stroke he lashes out at me! Sometimes I won't be doing anything and he'll just swipe me for fun.
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Old 22-12-2016, 11:38
wench
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From the cat's perspective strangers coming right up to it, making a lot of movement, trying to grab it or pick it up, is all very aggressive. Domestic cats are quite low on the pecking order and in the wild would often fall prey to large animals like us. So a calm stranger, not actively trying to interact with it, will seem a better bet.
I don't dare to pick it up!! and I do tend to let it come to me, but I'm now going to try the nonchalent approach and ignore it from now on.....
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Old 22-12-2016, 11:41
wench
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Not the dog? Sounds like the cat can tell real love from fake love,
Dog came first I'm afraid, also dog didn't have a home (came from rescue centre) whereas the cat could have gone back to its original home if necessary.
Unfortunately the BF says cat is going nowhere, we've now officially adopted him and so we must love him now, whether it likes me or not!!!
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Old 22-12-2016, 14:44
molliepops
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Had various cats and dogs over the years some were friendly to all, some to just one person, it's just their character I think. No help to you obviously but sometimes if the person they like stops feeding them and the person they do t like starts feeding them that can help. Generally if we've had one hates one or other of us we just try to keep at arms length and not upset them.
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Old 22-12-2016, 15:31
wench
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Had various cats and dogs over the years some were friendly to all, some to just one person, it's just their character I think. No help to you obviously but sometimes if the person they like stops feeding them and the person they do t like starts feeding them that can help. Generally if we've had one hates one or other of us we just try to keep at arms length and not upset them.
I thought it might be the feeding thing so I started feeding him every day but it made no difference, except for the fact that he attacks me if I don't feed him quick enough!
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Old 22-12-2016, 20:34
Heartache
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Stop trying so hard, if he has a problem when you don't feed him fast enough, tell him off. Cat's like dogs need to know who is boss. I feed some cats in my garden, some of them start to argue with each other if l am not fast enough, with a stern "stop that" they soon shut up.
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Old 23-12-2016, 10:21
molliepops
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I was thinking about this thread and remembered the late sooty babe, my grand mothers cat. It was gentle loving puss with her, loved us kids we were all under 5 but if my uncle walked in all hell would let loose, no matter where sooty babe was he would leap for his throat, or leap on his back, hissing and spitting like a thing possessed. It was hideous and scared us all in its murderous intent.
My uncle ray had never done anything to the cat that anyone could think it was just pure hatred !

Sooty babe lived for 18 years and never changed his opinion of my uncle we all tried all sorts of things. In the end he used to wear a thick puffer jacket and walk in backwards to protect his important bits.

Some cats are just as my nan would put it characters
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Old 24-12-2016, 00:44
blueblade
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Cats are like people, they're all different.

My cat Lucy plays with the dog next door when he's out in the garden. But only when the old couple who own him, are out. I've watched them and they chase each other round their garden. Then will go to sleep on the lawn a few feet apart. They really seem to have bonded.

This is obviously only during Summer.
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Old 29-12-2016, 23:04
Normandie
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However bizarrely, he will only sleep on my side of the bed (if he manages to sneak into our bedroom), sits at my end of the sofa and also loves sleeping on my dressing gown, so the BF says that he does like me really, which I don't believe.
Nothing to do with liking you, I'm afraid. It's a territorial thing - he's trying to overlay your scent with his. It may progress to him peeing in your shoes or on your pillow. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

I'd ignore him completely, don't even make eye contact. Ideally, prepare his food somewhere that he isn't and put it down for him while he's not in the room. Don't try to make friends by stroking, etc. If he nudges you with his head (scent marking you again) don't react. Never be nasty to him, of course, but your bf will have to accept that you need - for the sake of arms and legs - to keep any interaction with the cat to a minimum.

Things may improve but he may never be a predictably affectionate cat towards you - some cats are like that.

ps: I love cats - until the last year or so, we had 5. Plus dogs. But some cats are a bit malicious and are no fun to be around if they don't like you.
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Old 03-01-2017, 13:11
wench
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THE CAT SAT ON MY LAP!!!!!!!!!

So I took everyone's advice and pretty much ignored the cat all over christmas and while my BF was away for a few days, the cat actually came and plonked himself on my lap!!
However he did bite me twice while sat on my lap, but I'm still taking that as progress

Looks like he hates being ignored!
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Old 03-01-2017, 13:51
fiagomez
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THE CAT SAT ON MY LAP!!!!!!!!!

So I took everyone's advice and pretty much ignored the cat all over christmas and while my BF was away for a few days, the cat actually came and plonked himself on my lap!!
However he did bite me twice while sat on my lap, but I'm still taking that as progress

Looks like he hates being ignored!
he bit you twice??!! he sounds HORRIBLE!! but maybe if he sat on you, that is progress!!
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:10
wench
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he bit you twice??!! he sounds HORRIBLE!! but maybe if he sat on you, that is progress!!
I don't want to bad mouth him but I call him pissy pants for a reason!!
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Old 03-01-2017, 17:45
fiagomez
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I don't want to bad mouth him but I call him pissy pants for a reason!!
I think you are being rather restrained with pissy pants!!

I'd probably refer to him as an evil bastard!!
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